There’s nothing better than trying to predict the outcome of a predetermined sporting event. But that is exactly what I’m going to do before this Sunday’s Pay Per View event.
Randy Orton vs CM Punk – Last Man Standing
This feud has been ongoing for way too long for them to not end it tonight. Last Man Standing usually means someone is getting their ass kicked definitively, so I’m fully expecting CM Punk to get his ass handed to him once and for all, so Orton can solidify his role as main attraction on Smackdown. If you think about it they are on separate shows and the feud is really run it’s course. It’s time to end it.
WINNER: Randy Orton
Jerry Lawler/Jim Ross vs Michael Cole/Jack Swagger
Country whipping match
I’m not exactly sure what a whipping match is except that people will be whipped. In this tag match, unless Cole is getting beat into a coma I could care less about. The Lawler/Cole feud is about as drawn out and old as the Orton/Punk feud, except with less entertainment. Michael Cole was funny to an extent in the beginning and I know we all need someone to hate, but let’s leave that to the wrestlers and not the commentators. This thing has been going for close to a year it seems like, and Cole is just downright annoying to the point where I almost hate watching Raw because he disrupts it so badly. And he says everything three to four times over in the ring which is very annoying when you can hear him clear as day.
Winners: Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross (hopefully)
Alberto Del Rio vs Christian
Ladder Match for the World Heavyweight Championship
With the World Heavyweight belt vacant, Del Rio and Edge’s best buddy Christian will be duking it out in a ladder match to decide who the next champ will be. You might think with Christian being the master of ladder matches, Edge’s friend and all around likable guy, that he would be the one to win it. But I have to disagree because it seems like they’ve been all about Alberto Del Rio for quite some time, building him up over the course of last year as a major contender and hated heel. It all culminated in Del Rio’s Royal Rumble win and eventual championship match against Edge. Then he lost to Edge at Wrestlemania… didn’t see that one coming.
It’s pretty evident they found out about Edge’s health woes and need to retire just before Wrestlemania 27. They weren’t going to have him lose in his last match ever, so they just delayed Del Rio’s victory until now with the title vacant. Edge gets to retire a champion and Del Rio gets to win the title finally and score tons of guest appearences on Univision. Everybody wins!
Winner: Alberto Del Rio
Rey Mysterio vs Cody Rhodes – Falls Count Anywhere
This match is yet another long, drawn out feud that has run it’s course. Like a lot of the other ones it was fun at first but has definitely overstayed it’s welcome. I like what they did to Cody Rhodes, switching from pretty boy to masked freak. (even though it’s pretty apparent that not much was wrong with his face.) I see no reason for Cody to win this one. He’s a heel that is narrowly on the jobber level.
WINNER: Rey Mysterio
The Miz vs John Cena vs John Morrison
Steel Cage Triple Threat Match
The words Triple, Threat, Steel, Cage and Match should fill any wrestling spectator with glee. But for some reason I’m not all that excited for this match. It could be that two of the participants were involved in this past Wrestlemania’s worst main event in the history of the WWE. John Cena and the Miz = boring. So you’d then think I’d be rooting for John Morrison, but I’m not. Seriously? A guy wearing sunglasses with the worst tan ever, calling himself the Prince of Parkour? There’s no one to root for period in this one. There should be a triple disqualification that somehow makes the title vacant. But that won’t happen, so I have a feeling that the Miz will still hang onto the belt for this one. Of course it will be a cheap bullshit win, because they haven’t wrote the monkey faced turd of a champion winning the old fashioned way. I’m thinking R Truth will interfere to blow it for Morrison and win it for Miz.
WINNER: The Miz
Well those are my two cents. I’m hoping this pay per view will at least be mildly entertaining but with all the rehashed replay matches they have scheduled make me skeptical. I’m pretty sure almost everyone of these matches except the Del Rio one occured in one form or another at Wrestlemania 27.
Either way comment below and let us in on your own predictions!
I haven’t watched wrestling since the 1980s! Maybe it’s time to renew my obsession.
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