After the killing of his men and the injury of his leg by the Lannisters in the last episode, Ned Stark wakes up in bed to see the King and Queen standing over him. Cersei is of course angry at Tyrion being held by Catelyn, and now they’ve spun the story of Ned Stark being drunk outside of a brothel and attacking Jaime Lannister. Robert commands them both to shut it, having to smack Cersei for questioning his status as king. Robert orders Ned to make peace with the Lannisters and release Tyrion, while also offering him the clasp of the Hand back. Ned takes it as Robert leaves for a hunting trip.
Bran, Robb and Theon have their own expedition in the forest underway as the Bran gets to test out his new saddle from Tyrion’s design. Things seem to going well until the little Stark runs afoul of a couple wildlings and a Wall deserter who try to rob him. Unfortunately for them, Robb shows up and whoops some ass, and Theon finishes the job. Robb decides to let the wildling woman (Soon to be known to us as Osha.) live after she surrenders her life to him. It was interesting in this scene to see Theon speaking to Robb of going to war with the Lannisters, because that would mean weakening the kingdoms and creating an opening for his father Balon to rebel again, not to mention an opportunity for Theon to return home.
Tyrion is having a rough time himself in the Eyrie. Besides his uncomfortable sleeping arrangements in the sky cells, Mord the turn-key of the cells decides to come in and yell at him for making noise and hits him repeatedly. He finally convinces Mord to tell Lysa Arryn that he wishes to confess his crimes. After appearing in front of the court of the Vale, Tyrion confesses to a number of crimes he committed in his childhood. Putting goat shit in his uncle’s boots and tossing off in his sister’s turtle soup. It was all pretty hilarious to me, but nothing was better than actually getting to see the Moon Door and getting to see Tyrion proclaim his right to trial by combat.
In trial by combat, the accuser and the person on trial are able to either fight themselves or choose a champion. Lysa Arryn chooses Ser Vardis of the Vale while no one except the sell sword Bronn will stand for Tyrion. Bronn as you will see loves gold and no doubt expects a great pay out from the little Lannister. The fight was excellent, showing us what a crafty fighter Bronn can be. He had to be in order to beat a knight in full armor. After Ser Vardis leaves via the Moon Door, Tyrion leaves through the main door. But not before paying Mord with his gold purse for delivering the message of confession and proving that a Lannister always pays his debts. Meanwhile in King’s Landing Ned filling in for Robert at court, hears from people in the Riverlands where his wife’s father rules that there is a rather large bandit and his men burning their villages and killing their loved ones. Based on his height, Ned deduces that it must be Ser Gregor Clegane who is one of Tywin Lannister’s men and Ned announces that Clegane shall be stripped of his knighthood and all of his lands, not to mention his life. As an extra added bonus he also has the Grand Maester deliver word to Casterly Rock that Tywin Lannister must come to court to answer for the actions of Clegane and if he refuses then he will be marked as an enemy of the crown. Ohhhh boyyyy. So much for peace between the Starks and Lannisters.
We are then treated to a Sansa scene, where Joffrey actually comes to see her and offers her a necklace that she gladly wears. He also apologizes to her for how he acted and promises to never disrespect her and marry her so she can be queen. They even share a tender kiss after he is done telling her this. It makes me want to puke because he’s such a demented little turd and time will tell you the viewer just how sincere his promise is.
And now we get back to the Targaryens finally. In a Dothraki tradition, Daenerys gets the disgusting honor of eating a horse heart in front of Khal Drogo and some assembled Dothraki while Mormont translates for Viserys that her son will become the greatest Khal ever who will rule over the whole world. Viserys can finally see how there is no plan to make him king and decides to go off and sell his sister’s dragon eggs to get enough money to buy his own army. Ser Jorah Mormont stops him and shows that his loyalty lies with Daenerys and not Viserys who surrenders the eggs and storms out.
Things get worse a little later as “the dragon” storms into the evening feast honoring Daenerys’ unborn child Rhaego. (Named after her brother Rhaegar who died by Robert’s hand at the Battle of the Trident.) The moron insults her and even draws his sword on her after Mormont tries to remove him. After Viserys threatens to cut out their baby if he doesn’t receive the crown Drogo promised for her, Drogo agrees to give him what he wants…. literally. The Khal has his men hold the Targaryen boy down as he melts down his gold belt in an empty soup pot and then proceeds to pour it over Viserys’ head in what I can only describe as one of the most brutal, yet awesome scenes in the series. The clunking sound that Viserys’ head made as it hit the ground and his screams before were just eerie as can be; and here I was worried about how they would do that scene when not on the pages of a book!
Awesome episode overall. I’m giving it a 5 out of 5 bears because the episodes keep getting better and better, and the tension is building to a climax in the next episode. I promise I won’t be able to keep giving it five bears every week because the episodes will slow a bit towards the end unless HBO has made some changes.
Grizzly Bomb 
That crown is FUCKING SWEET!!
LikeLike