CBS Orders New ‘Sherlock Holmes’ Pilot…Terrible.

So the bane of my existence America’s #1 Network – CBS is planning a new modern-day ‘Sherlock Holmes’ show called Elementary. This announcement comes after they approached the BBC and Sherlock show runners about remaking the British masterpiece, and being denied. This has led to their announcement ruffling the feathers of the Brits a bit, as I’m sure they don’t want to see their show bastardized, which CBS would surely do.

These statements came from Sherlock executive producer Sue Vertue‘s Twitter:

Exec. Producers Sue Vertue and her husband (Dr. Who scribe) Steven Moffat.

We understand that CBS are doing their own version of an updated Sherlock Holmes. It’s interesting, as they approached us a while back about remaking our show.

At the time, they made great assurances about their integrity, so we have to assume that their modernised Sherlock Holmes doesn’t resemble ours in any way, as that would be extremely worrying.

We are very proud of our show and like any proud parent, will protect the interest and wellbeing of our offspring.

Now CBS’ show is set to place Mr. Holmes and Dr. Watson in New York City, which is a terrible idea I think. I really hope that this doesn’t happen. I have no faith in CBS to show any kind of originality with this, and odds are they’ll just do what they do with all their other programming – dumb it down. Aren’t the Guy Ritchie movies mediocre enough without further watering down the character?

 This sarcastic rant, also focusing on some of Steven Moffat’s other projects, comes from the AV Club…

“The BBC has enjoyed considerable success with Sherlock, a 21st-century update of Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes stories that’s nearly flawless aside from the fact that it isn’t American, nor is it ever paired with an episode of the Sherlock Holmes stories’ contemporary equivalent, CSI: Miami. So CBS will solve those problems with its own modern-day update, Sherlock Holmes, a project that at last has absolutely nothing to do with British people, who for too long have profited off of Sherlock Holmes simply because he’s from there. Instead, this modern-day Sherlock comes from the producers behind the forthcoming CBS dramas Unforgettable and A Gifted Man—Americans making American shows about decidedly American people, such as detectives who are really good at remembering, and surgeons with ghost wives. Like ABC’s recent absconding with its own modern-day Jekyll And Hyde—which has absolutely nothing to do with Sherlock co-creator Steven Moffat’s Jekyll—CBS’ patriotic usurping of Sherlock Holmes and other British ideas for American television can be seen as yet another victory in the transatlantic culture war.

You can read all about it in the forthcoming leaflet: Common Sense, Addressed To The Inhabitants Of America, On The Subject Of Why Steven Moffat Should Suck It.”