Machete Kills: Starring ‘President Charlie Sheen’

So it’d seem that Charlie Sheen has temporarily gained enough wherewithal to admit he was pretty goddamn insane all of last year, and along with landing a new gig as the lead in FX’s Anger Management, has also gotten a role in Robert Rodriguez’s sequel to Machete.

And what a great president he’d be!

The basic outline of the plot for the sequel is pretty out there. It involves Machete being hired out by the US to find a bad arms dealer guy who plans to launch a weapon into space. Because Robert Rodriguez is an insane person, he’s decided to throw space weapons in a movie about a guy who uses knives as his primary weapon of choice. I know, I know, machetes aren’t knives, but bear with me.

So while the original Machete was over the top example of faux-grindhouse, this looks to up the ante in ways that’ll make the original probably seem downright subtle. In those terms, I think Charlie Sheen is a great casting choice. Who else but Charlie Sheen would give a presidential decree to hire out an insane knife wielding ex-cop Mexican for international arms espionage? Combine that with the returning cast of Jessica Alba and Michelle Rodriguez, (Not a Lohan in sight, thank christ), and I think you’ve got the potential for a pretty great sequel here.

Now as long as Rodriguez is making real movies out of fake trailers, let’s get Werewolf Women Of The SS made already huh? Nicolas Cage as Fu-Manchu? BOX OFFICE DYNAMITE!