Boardwalk Empire: 3.11 – “Two Imposters”

So last week’s episode was divine. Van Alden is working for Capone (is Torrio all but gone now?), Eli heads off to meet up with them, Mickey is sent to Mellon’s defunct distillery, Richard Harrow gets the girl, Gyp beat a man to death with a shovel, Owen gets himself killed, and Margaret reacts exactly how you’d expect a woman who just saw the father of her unborn child dead in a box would. It was epic.

This week? I’ve said it before (last week even) but seriously, this was the best episode of television I think I’ve ever seen. At one point I realized that I’d been holding my breath when I got that panicky “you need oxygen now!” feeling. From the first scene to the last, I was just a big ball of tension. Whew.

Even though there were obviously more tense moments this week, knowing what I do of history, the bit with Lucky and “Sam Moceri” had me on the edge of my seat. Just a few days ago I had looked up when Lucky got arrested for the drug deal, and when he first met with the Buffalo mute I immediately thought this might be it. Of course, I was right, but that didn’t make it any less surprising for some reason. I can not wait to see Rothstein’s reaction. No, wait- I can not wait to see Meyer’s reaction. It will probably be a lot about “you should have listened to me you dipshit”.

One of my absolute favorite parts of this show is the background noise and music. The ominous drumbeat when someone is about to end up dead, the conversations of nearby people, and most especially the sounds of the boardwalk while in Nucky’s office. There’s just something incongruous about it all. Coming from a humor writing background, I’ve mainly used incongruity as a comedy tool, but here it seems to be more of the writer’s acknowledging that it is such a ridiculous situation.

Case in point: Gyp sitting at Nucky’s desk, reading the copy of Ragged Dick given to Nucky by his mother on his birthday, all while children are laughing and playing down below and carnival music fills the air. Of course, Nucky would keep that book on hand. I’m sure part of it is because it was from his mom, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t relate at all to the story of the sort of “rags to riches” story. As for Gyp? He’s probably heard of the story (the book was published in 1868 and was wildly popular) and could also see a bit of himself in the main character. Dear Boardwalk Empire writers- I love you.

Another bit of incongruity that ended up being more humorous than perhaps it was initially intended?

A grown man being spanked like a child by a broom in the drawing (?) room of a not-a-whorehouse by the madam of said not-a-whorehouse while he was going at it with a not-a-whore. I bust out laughing at this part thanks to its complete ridiculousness. Gillian is either the smartest woman alive, or she’s the most delusional sociopath that ever walked the Earth. If she survives the finale (which she will), then maybe she’ll realize next season that she is running a WHOREHOUSE, not some high-class entertainment venue. Of course, I wanted to beat her ass with that same broom when she was such a bitch to Richard. I was sitting at my desk, mouth agape when she pointed out that Julia “doesn’t look blind”. WTF bitch.  However, unlike the rest of the internet, I think she has a plan.

Surely she knows about Richard’s small arsenal. Of course, she knows about Richard’s willingness to kill. I think Gillian was trying to goad Richard just enough to piss him off and send him running to the box under his bed. She wants him to come back to the not-a-whorehouse and shoot his way to Tommy, getting him out of Dodge. Takes out two birds with one stone; gets rid of Gyp and “saves” Tommy. Then again, maybe she saw Richard trying to steal Tommy away from her and he’s the only link she has left to Jimmy. Maybe she’s just a horrid bitch. Yea, that’s the more likely situation. What I really want to know though is what Richard meant by the “not afraid of camels” caption on his happy family scrapbook picture. There are some who posted that it is a throwback to season one with the episode about Gillian and the tarot reading but I don’t know, that’s a bit of a stretch for me.

What’s not a stretch is saying that Michael Kenneth Williams had perhaps his best episode to date. This week almost made up for an entire season with limited Chalky White. Not only that, but it seemed like every bit of dialogue out of his beautiful mouth was meant especially for my language loving self. When you are busting out words like ‘mite‘ and ‘gabble‘, oh be still my beating heart. However, the best one was ‘nonce‘.

Chalky sitting there like a king with his court, busting out great words left and right, ’twas perfection. Not to mention, his total dedication and loyalty to Nucky. The same Nucky who was sort of a complete ass to him with the whole club thing. Then there was the “Nucky is concussed” bit. Yikes, I daresay if someone called me uppity, concussion or not, I would not be so willing to lie to the psychopath Gyp Rossetti for them. Again, if Chalky survives the finale, there better be a club run by him on the Boardwalk.

This entire part of the episode was epic. While the banter between Gyp and Chalky was fantastic (I seriously would never have guessed that the idea of “paging” someone was so old) it was the parts with Nucky that were the best. Last time Nucky was hiding, he was with the kid and Owen. He killed the kid and sent Owen to his death so now he’s alone. Even the lighting was similar. It was just so well done that I felt the need to clap.

Steve Buscemi brought his A-game in this entire episode. Nucky ran the gamut of emotions this week. From the despondency of realizing that Margaret and Owen had a thing going and Margaret leaving and taking the kids (where did she go?!?! But I did love the overturned toys and general feeling that they left in a hurry.), to the panic of realizing that Gyp was at the Ritz and then the adrenalin-fueled drive through Atlantic City as Eddie sat bleeding and muttering in German only to finally realize that this person that has stood by his side for how many years is basically a stranger because he was too wrapped up in himself to notice him. Seriously, it was amazing to watch. I was damn near in tears as Eddie was able to be lucid enough to tell Nucky about a poem.

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same

Of course anyone who has taken AP English (in the 90’s at least), or just keeps up with poetry, in general, knows the poem as If by Rudyard Kipling. It is an extremely well known and often quoted poem so it’s not that surprising that Eddie would quote it. However, what is amazing is that is a poem that is usually told as a father to son perspective. So here is Eddie, dying (if he dies I will be so pissed, screw Owen and Jimmy, it’s Eddie that needs to live) and he’s mustering up strength and mental acuity to try and give Nucky a life lesson! The same Nucky who doesn’t even know if he has a family or not! My poor heart just can’t handle this.

Thankfully there were a few little things to draw my attention long enough that I didn’t dwell on the possibility of Eddie dying, which would send me into a fit of hysterics. One being the billboard of “Krueger’s Special” behind Chalky and Dunn as they shot the guys trying to search their truck for Nucky. Much like Bevo for Anheuser Busch, Krueger’s Special was a non-alcoholic beverage brewed mainly so breweries could stay open and try to make a profit during Prohibition. If it tasted anything like O’Douls, there’s no question as to why Prohibition was eventually repealed. That crap tastes like piss in a can.

This is my favorite one though, perhaps of the entire season. If you look closely at those bottles, that is none other than Dr. Brown’s Cel-Ray soda. That shit is so good. I have not come across a bottle of that in over a decade, but there was a place that sold it down the street from an old house of mine and it is one of the best drinks there is. Especially with a deli sandwich. Yum.

As awesome and fabulous and wonderful everything in this entire episode was, nothing tops the last scene. Eli returns and he has struck a deal. Much like when the “crowds” parted to reveal Chalky sitting in his throne, this time they made way for Mr. Al Capone himself to make another Atlantic City appearance. And boy did he ever.

Holy shit folks. It’s about to get real. So we’ve got Capone and Chalky with Nucky vs. Gyp and Masseria (if he comes to fight). The question remains what side Rothstein will end up on. All we know, whoever ends up on whatever side, people are going to die. A lot of people are going to die. I can’t wait.

I’m starting to sound like a broken record, but shit this episode was perfect. For real. I think to give it anything but a 5 would be a crime.

The season finale is next week and it promises to be as amazingly epic as we could ever hope for. Until then Boardwalk fans!

Boardwalk Empire: 3.09 – “The Milkmaid’s Lot”

After last week’s episode, I felt like I needed to come up with a pair of Sensory Deprivator 5000’s just to let my brain recover. Between the Iron Man meltdown of Van Alden and then Gyp literally blowing shit up, I just couldn’t figure out how on earth they were going to continue. Turns out that Nucky needed the Sensory Deprivator 5000 as well.

Can we take a moment and revel in Eddie’s (Anthony Laciura) fabulousness? He grabs my attention in almost every scene he is in and it’s usually because he’s in the background being amazing. I love him in this one here where he’s following the doctor’s finger right along with Nucky. I felt like this entire episode the viewers were all trying to help Nucky along as he was in and out of lucidity the entire time. But more about Nucky later, first let’s discuss Richard Harrow.

AHAHADGARGAEORFQ#(UREDJIK!!!!!!!

That roughly translates “OH MY GOD RICHARD HARROW AND JULIA AT THE DANCE ARE SO CUTE!!!!!”. Seriously, how adorable was all that? The corsage, the dancing, the kiss? I know there was quite a large populations of fans that did not like Julia but hopefully this won them over. I happen to really like her and think she is great for Richard. Here’s hoping we see more of her in the future.

You know who I don’t want to see more of? Gillian! Last week I thought I might become a fan of hers, thought I might be coming around in my opinion of her. Then this week comes along and she returns right back to the shitter from which she came from. Why on Earth is she mad at Richard for Tommy walking in on the “adult activities”? Hello you are the one who has him living in a whore house! And if you are really hell-bent on placing blame on others, what about the whores who sent him into the room in the first place? I mean really Gillian, pull your head out of your ass because you are really getting on my nerves. Blerg.

It’s a little disturbing to consider how much therapy the children of Boardwalk Empire are going to need. Teddy is a pyro who will probably end up being a serial killer, Emily’s bleeding cake was just freaky, and now we’ve got Tommy needing a little rum mixed into his milk to get some sleep. The mental issues pass on to another generation, maybe the writers are trying to build in their own Saved by the Bell: The New Class.

If you blinked, you might have missed Esther Randolph’s brief appearance and her kick ass hat. Watching Remus run around his massive bird-cage while nearly naked was hysterical. Apparently he is going to try to offer up Jess Smith so I’m sure we’ll have more of that story line next week. This was just a “while we are focusing on Gyp and Nucky, please remember that there is this whole other thing going on over here” kind of situation.

Man alive how focused was this episode of Nucky and Gyp? Don’t get me wrong, I am so not complaining. Actually I loved how much we saw of Nucky and Margaret together as it seems like they haven’t spent ten minutes together the entire season so far.

What I don’t like?

This.

There are people who love Margaret and Owen, but I am not one of them. For one, I think Owen is totally playing Margaret. I don’t think he has any intention of leaving the gangster life and moving to somewhere quiet. I can totally see him going to one of the other bosses and double-crossing Nucky. I also just don’t like them. I want Margaret to wake up one morning, completely okay with Nucky’s gangstering and decide to become the Queen of Atlantic City. If she and Nucky were to combine forces? They’d be unstoppable. Screw Arnold Rothstein, Nucky and Margaret forever.

I think this is all going to be a moot point however, because as I said, what? four episodes ago? Owen is a dead man walking. This episode just cinched it for me. You go ahead and try to leave Owen, perhaps you should remember what happened to the last guy who struck out on his own.

Steve Buscemi was amazing in this episode. I’ve never been more convinced that a person was suffering a head injury more than I did last night. The way he kept mistaking people for others, the manic state at Emily’s party, and then the momentary clarity he had while sitting on the can talking to Margaret. I would not even doubt it for a moment if it was announced that Steve Buscemi wasn’t actually acting in this episode, but rather had taken a blow to the head and they just decided to film it.

It was a piece of brilliant writing that brought back Nucky’s “I’m all alone” feeling that has been running throughout this entire season. It’s been one of those story arcs that when you look at it by each episode you might think Nucky has been stagnant but as a whole, Nucky really has grown quite a bit. Not necessarily in a good way, but grown just the same. He’s dealing with Jimmy’s death, he’s realizing that maybe he really didn’t want to be this person but that he’s made his bed and has no choice but to sleep in it. Even though he wishes everything would run on its own, he knows it won’t because when he even ignores it for a day, shit gets bad. So now he’s calling in all the other bosses for a meeting.

I’ll admit, I’m nervous. It’s obvious Nucky isn’t in a right frame of mind now (calling Emily hummingbird and then thinking that it was Margaret’s earring he found) so what on Earth is his reaction going to be when he finally gets better and realizes that he literally is all alone on this Gyp thing? Maybe since Torrio didn’t come he’ll go out to Chicago looking for Torrio’s help in person? I don’t know. It’s a mystery. A secret only the writer’s know so far.

What’s not a secret is Gyp is insane.

That hat. Oh my God that hat. Masseria tells him that he might someday be a general so what does Gyp do? Busts into the library case and steals the hat of “Mad” Anthony Wayne. The irony is completely lost on him. Dude is light years more “mad” than Anthony Wayne ever was. Anthony Wayne got the nickname because of his short temper and hot headedness. I imagine if Gen. Wayne were to ever meet Gyp Rosetti he’d say “wow, that dude needs to take it down a notch” because Gyp is certifiable.

I loved how they gave a shout out to the “bible camp” much like their mention of the Methodists earlier in the season. Even though they are in Tabor Heights, they are hearkening back to the history of Mount Tabor, New Jersey, the place Tabor Heights is obviously based on.

Actually I loved this entire episode. After two episodes back to back filled with many “WTF just happened!!” moments, it was nice to have a quieter one. I appreciate that instead of having it be a quiet episode that doesn’t do much (because there have been plenty of those), this one moved the plot along quite well. No longer is Nucky’s gangster/girlfriend/wife and children lives all separate but now are thrown together in a messy concussed pile so it will be interesting to see how he deals with that. Not to mention what Margaret will end up doing. Then of course there’s the falling out from the bosses meeting. How on Earth is that going to shake out?

There’s just three episodes left and I’m sure they’ll be firing on all cylinders from here on out so we need to just sit back and enjoy the ride. I have a feeling that the remaining episodes are all going to be highly rated, and even though there wasn’t a lot of action/explosions/WTF in this episode, Steve Buscemi alone deserves a four and a half so that’s what we’re going with.

Until next time, I leave you with this. The great Eddie “helping” Emily blow out her candles. I love him.

Boardwalk Empire: 3.07 – “Sunday Best”

Remember how much I disliked last week’s episode? How only the presence of Richard Harrow saved it from ranking as my least favorite episode of the season? That there was way too much bat shit crazy Gillian and how much I hate her?

I take it all back. Even though last week was as interesting as a watching grass grow, it led into this week’s episode that was absolutely amazing. Even if nothing of note had happened, the set up of the episode with everyone and their respective Easter dinners was fabulously done.

First off, I’d like to formally apologize to Gillian. Please do not misread this- I still think you are crazy as a shithouse rat, but I’ll concede that apparently you had a plan when you went out and found the Jimmy look-alike. Was it a plan I would have come up with? Of course not, because I am a normal and sane human being, but hey I guess you got to work with what you’ve got. So now you’ve got a body to pass off as Jimmy’s and you can go ahead and claim all his/the Commodore’s money and be on your merry way. I can only hope that you won’t take Tommy down with you but as the saying goes, if wishes were horses, then beggars would ride.

Apparently when one brother tries to kill the other and then that brother sends the first brother to jail for a year and a half, things like family holiday dinners don’t happen. Color me shocked. So that’s how we end up with Eli’s family meeting Margaret and her children for the first time. Nothing says awkward like espousing the virtues of spring and new life and new beginnings and later learning that your brother in law’s marriage is in the shitter. I literally laughed out loud when after Margaret pours her heart out to June,[pullquote_right]”I feel like the life is being pressed out of me.” -Margaret Thompson[/pullquote_right] the response was “oh you brought a pineapple upside down.” I mean seriously, what do you say to a woman you’ve never met before when she goes on to tell you how awful her marriage is to the brother of your husband who controls for all intents and purposes, your livelihood?

The writers are back on the “make people care about Eli” train because sweet lord how adorable was he this entire episode? A little whiny when he was talking to Nucky about his job but when he was hiding the eggs and then the scenes with his wife? Incredibly sweet. Makes me want to like him. Again. Damn them. Not to mention all those kids! It was a banner day for sweetness from all the Thompson children. Except Teddy- he’s still a creep who thinks girls can’t be politicians. Yea well neither can pyromaniac sociopaths, so there! I did like how they kept going back to “Brian… Patrick”, one can only imagine with nine nieces and nephews they can start to all run together.

Seriously though? Why can’t Nucky and Margaret get their shit together? Don’t they realize that they still love each other? I mean hello- look at Nucky’s face. That is a man who still loves his wife. Sadly it seems as if that ship has finally sailed. If your wife doesn’t want to learn how to juggle from you, then might as well contact the lawyers.

Even though we’ve seen Gyp Rosetti a lot this season (and I do mean a lot) we hadn’t really learned a lot beyond he has a short temper and is a freak in the bedroom. Oh and he doesn’t think the phrase “it isn’t personal” should be used. This week we got a bit more of an idea of what his life is like. I don’t know where he got his driver/bodyguard/lackey, but he needs to keep him around because it seems like he is the only person that is able to say anything to him without causing Mt. Rosetti to erupt. Either that or Gyp doesn’t actually listen to a word he says as he meticulously de-lints his suit. I love love love his family. What’s not to love? Loud, boisterous, and opinionated women around a table? It’s like holiday dinners at my parent’s house (there are three sisters and one brother- and we are all very loud people).

As fun as the dinner scene was, the church scene was amazing. Only Gyp Rosetti would get in a fight in an empty church with a painting of Jesus. Seriously. And over what? Because he feels like he’s been slighted in life? Dude, you are a gangster who likes setting people on fire, or beating them to death for innocuous comments. It’s not like you are some upstanding citizen who tends to the poor and feeds the hungry out of his own kitchen during his off time from working with blind orphans. I mean come on. And then you beat down a priest and stole the collection money. Perhaps taking a step back and looking at yourself before your next throw down with the big guy upstairs, huh?

That scene did totally remind me of this one though, one of the best shows ever.

At least President Bartlett was angry over something happening to someone he loves, not necessarily only himself. Gyp might want to take a page from that book.

The scene with Masseria was perhaps the most telling though. Given Gyp’s larger than life persona, you’d think he was this big mover and shaker in the bootlegging business. Apparently not. It seems that he matters so little that Masseria is ready to just cut him loose (I think we all know what that means) instead of putting up with his shit anymore. It wasn’t until Gyp started railing against Nucky and Rothstein and pretty much everyone else on the eastern seaboard that Masseria begins to consider him useful again. Is this finally putting more structure behind what will surely be the big face off between Gyp and Nucky sometime later in the season? I think so.

It probably comes as no surprise that my favorite parts of the episode were those involving Richard Harrow. I can’t remember the last time I wanted a character to find happiness more than I do him. He’s just such a tragic person that you can’t help but hope for the best for him. I damn near shrieked in delight when he showed up at Julia’s house for Easter dinner. Holiday dinner with the family? That’s a big deal right? So what if the neighbors were invited as well, Julia wasn’t setting a plate in private for them. On one hand it makes me sad that she did that but if that’s what Richard prefers, I guess it’s more sweet than sad. She recognizes that he is uncomfortable and instead of forcing it (like Angela sort of did when she told him that he shouldn’t be ashamed to eat in front of them) she just makes sure he has a plate.

My heart was in my throat when Tommy opened that door to Julia’s brother’s room. I could just picture her dad going apeshit, and lo and behold… he did. Granted, Tommy should not have been in the room in the first place, but who yells like that at a little kid? Man knows how to clear a house, that’s for sure.

It’s been hours since I watched the show and I still can’t get over how adorable Julia and Richard’s first “date” was. Equally as awkward but come on, they are so cute together! Once they got past the whole “don’t threaten to kill my father again” part, things seemed to go a bit more smoothly. Then of course, they got roped in by one of those obnoxious “let me take your picture and then sell it to you for an obscene amount of money” booths. It is so nice to see those haven’t changed much since the 1920’s. With so many American innovations gone by the wayside, it’s comforting to know that some things still remain the same.

In any case, Richard has another happy family picture to add to his book. Every time that damn book makes an appearance I want to cry. Now that he’s put that picture in there, I’m certain they are going to kill off either Richard or Julia. It just isn’t Boardwalk Empire if the viewers hearts aren’t being ripped out and stomped on in a regular fashion.

As much as I loved every part of Richard Harrow’s storyline this week, it was the final scene between (shocker!!!!) Gillian and Richard that was the best in my opinion. Gillian finally admits that Jimmy is dead and when she was crying she seemed almost human. It was heartbreaking. Of course she doesn’t give Richard a heads up about the dead body in the bathtub but hey, this is Gillian we are talking about. That last shot of her sitting by herself just looking defeated was gut wrenching though.

This episode, for me, was damn near perfection. Even though it had almost none of the side stories (we did see Masseria but that was in direct correlation to Nucky) and I usually enjoy those, this was the type of episode I wish they’d make more often. In my dream world, the New York and Chicago groups would have their own show that would occasionally meld into Boardwalk Empire when the need arose, and vice versa. Then there could be these episodes that focused on these main characters more often instead of a snippet here and there that feels distracting from the main story. Case in point- does anyone remember what Chalky White is doing now? Hell does anyone remember what Chalky White even looks like? It seems like it’s been forever since we saw him for more than 30 seconds here and there. He’s like an SNL cast member who is in every sketch one week and then you don’t see them again except in the credits and goodbyes for over a month. I think it’s time Chalky got his own show. Starting a petition to HBO now…

In the meantime, I’m going to have to go big or go home and give this episode a 4.5 bears. It was as close to perfection as I’ve seen in a while.

Until next time!

Boardwalk Empire: 3.05 – “You’d Be Surprised”

Last week can be summed up pretty easily- “Your vagina and you”, dead smartass mouthy kid, Owen watch your back, and Masserria wants heroin money.

This week? There was just way too much going on. Granted it was all important stuff, okay that’s debatable but for the most part each story line from this week did move things forward. Some in a much more naked pace than others.

As for the less interesting ones- Apparently Gillian is in deep denial or she truly believes Jimmy is still alive and just on some adventure. Yea he’s on an adventure, it’s called the afterlife you incestual loon. Seriously though, I have to make myself care about this entire story arc. It’s a struggle. The only reason I keep hanging on is the hope that I’ll catch a glimpse of Richard. Where is Richard? WHERE?!?

Whenever they go back to the Congress/District Attorney/I’m not totally sure who all is involved here storyline, I literally have to go back to my notes because I can’t be bothered to remember anyone. I could not care less about the legal battle going on. There are people being shot and I need to see that, I don’t need witty back and forth in a Senate hearing.

Granted I do love James Cromwell but even my love for Captain Dudley Smith, or Andrew Mellon as he plays here, couldn’t keep my attention during these scenes. Even sadder, Stephen Root made an appearance and the only highlight was him busting out the S.A.T. word, dishabille.

Amazingly enough, I actually liked the VanAlden appearances. I still don’t want to like him, but it’s becoming increasingly difficult, especially with that wife of his, Sigrid. She is very entertaining… and has no problem bashing a man in the head! I was watching that unfold and of course the cinematic masterpiece Anchorman came to mind.

It does (hopefully) finally bring about some cohesion to seemingly random things going out in Chicago. I imagine VanAlden’s association with Dean O’Banion won’t end once the agent’s body is disposed of. Those threads have been waving around loose for way too long, let’s get them back to weaving something.

Oh Billie Kent. How I dislike you so. I can not for the life of me figure out what Nucky sees in you, besides a piece of ass, and why he is with you. You don’t really need his help and you certainly don’t want it. Nucky is a “rescuer” and you just do not fit the bill. So why don’t you do everyone a favor and disappear. Immediately.

The only thing Billie Kent did accomplish is involve Eddie Cantor in a great way this week. I loved how Nucky brought him some Passover vodka. It’s one of those, look I brought you vodka completely free of grain and signed off by a rabbi… now find a way to fix my girlfriend’s show because otherwise I’m going to send Chalky and Purnsley over to beat your ass. Surely Nucky, of all people, would understand the importance of honoring your contracts. I mean come on. It did seem like Eddie going to New York added just a little bit more to Arthur Rothstein’s derision over being pulled into shit dealing with Tabor Heights. As he said, only things in New York matter.

Billie Kent also worked her way directly into Margaret’s storyline. Now I’m not up to date on “Keeping a Mistress 101” but it seems to me that one of the major highlights of that course would be “Don’t take your floosie to the same shop that your wife visits on a regular basis.” Apparently Nucky isn’t up to date either because there they were and come on Nucky, get it together. Margaret is giving you carte blanche to basically do whatever you want as long as you allow her to keep up appearances. You are failing Nucky. Failing hard. You best believe Margaret is getting her shit in line with a bank account and all and don’t be surprised if you come “home” one day to find yourself all alone. No one left to rescue but yourself-someone who desperately needs it.

What I’d love to see from Margaret is for her to just sack up and take over the world. I had started to dislike her at the beginning of the season but she’s come back around. Now if she were to smack that annoying ass nun who sits in her vagina class basically clutching her pearls the entire time, I’d build a statue of her likeness in my front lawn.

The big story of the episode was the aftermath of Gyp hijacking and killing Nucky’s delivery guys on their way to Rothstein. We finally got to see Rothstein lose just a little bit of his cool. I think he’s one of those tip of the iceberg kind of guys, basically the exact opposite of Gyp Rosetti.

This scene actually drove me a little nuts because they showed AR picking up that spoon at least three times in two seconds.

The writers have set up the audience exactly as they wanted. Every time we see Gyp we expect him to go ape shit and kill someone. Then they show us a couple of times that he can laugh things off so we relax a bit and then he goes and sets the sheriff on fire. This week we saw him enjoying himself with the aid of a belt. Who would have ever thought that the belt would be what saves his life? Well the belt and the naked chick he used as a human shield.

The title of the episode “You’d Be Surprised” was quite accurate because I would have never guessed the result of Rothstein and Nucky’s screaming match was Benny showing up at the Kinnernet Lodge shooting everyone he came across. Of course it does set up the rest of the season because now we get to watch how Gyp, who will kill a man for looking at him crosseyed, reacts to Rothstein sending a guy to kill him. Not only that but Gyp worked for Masseria? The same Masseria who is already pissed at the trio of Rothstein, Luciano, and Lansky? It’s going to be insane.

I did like how the episode wrapped up with Eddie telling Billie that she is nothing. She may think that she has landed this big fish in Nucky, but really she’s just a flavor of the week. You tell her Eddie!

Lucy Danzinger was of course Paz de la Huerta‘s character…at least before she was fired prior to season 3….

Whew, there was a lot of stuff in this episode. Some of it wasn’t so great, others was damn near perfection. That scene with Gyp walking through the dead bodies and pools of blood? Very reminiscent of Taxi Driver and just an incredible scene.

Going to have to go with a four out of five on this one. Gillian Darmody and the boring Senate hearing drug it down.

In the news section of today’s review – Boardwalk Empire has been picked up for Season 4! I don’t think anyone saw this as a big surprise, but it is nice to know. I can’t speak for everyone, but I know for myself, I’ve been burned by canceled shows enough times that when something hasn’t been officially announced as renewed, I just assumed it’s going to be gone.

One could hope that now they are certain they are a go for another season, perhaps they can spend a little bit more time with their other storylines. Hahaha, that’s never going to happen. Just ask Chalky White.

For now, I’m going to go sit in my Miller Chair (just kidding, I don’t have a Miller Chair but it is mentioned in the song that Eddie and Billie are singing at the end) and wait for next week.

Boardwalk Empire: 3.03 – “Bone for Tuna”

Where were we? Last week was all slow-moving build up. Nucky is hiding in New York with Billie Kent,  just wanting everything to run on its own. Margaret is stomping around the hospital and, unfortunately, not smacking the crap out of lippy servants. Eli’s out of jail, Gyp is hanging out in Tabor Heights waiting around for Methodist bible camp, and sticking it to Nucky in the meantime. Chalky tried to convince Maybelle that his life is not that interesting and she should just marry the boring doctor. Oh and Mickey is amazingly still alive. After that slow as molasses episode, I had high hopes for this week. I was not disappointed.

Apparently if you kill the man you spent decades treating as your son, it turns out that it can f–k with your head. Here we finally see Nucky start to come unhinged over killing Jimmy. He’s dreaming of kids shot in the face, and then seeing the same kid as a choir boy. Of course this is also tied to his own childhood and it involves a lot of bacon. There was a lot of “alone Nucky” in this episode and it was just sad. If ever there was a man who needed to just get his shit together, get back together with his wife, spend time with his kids, and have a large bottle of zoloft nearby, it is Nucky Thompson. Dude.

VanAlden returned this episode and so help me god if the writers try to make me feel anything for him like they did Eli last week, I’m gonna be pissed. I don’t want to feel sorry for him. I don’t want to sympathize with him. I don’t want to see him all lovey dovey with his new wife. Are you hearing me writers? I DO NOT WANT TO LIKE HIM!

 Alas, I sort of did. I really do feel badly for him when he’s getting picked on by his coworkers. But then I just remember him “baptizing” Sebso and my distaste for him returns. Ahhh, all is right with the world. Seriously though, the fountain pen and then the constant picking at him, it makes me want to never want to buy an iron from these jackasses. Sigrid however? I daresay I never saw a scene like that in Door to Door (if you haven’t seen this movie, you should), so I was completely unaware that door to door sales can be such a turn on. Lesson learned.

If I were to take my dislike for VanAlden and add the heated hatred of a thousand forest fires burning at once, that would come close to my feelings for Gillian Darmody. She’s got her claws in everyone. It’s possible I missed it earlier, but did we know that Lucky Luciano was an investor in the whorehouse? That was news to me. Unwelcome news of course, and while we’re discussing those two- I really wish little bubbles would pop up telling us who all knows Jimmy is dead and who really believes he went back to the Army. It would be like a flow chart in the style of Pop Up Video, very helpful. I mean Gillian has to know right? She and Nucky aren’t talking, clearly illustrated by the looks exchanged when Nucky drops Gyp off at the house of ill repute. So is she just pretending he’s still alive so people like Lucky take her more seriously? Is she just trying to convince herself he is still alive because she’s an out of touch creepy hobag? It’s a mystery. [Editor’s Note – She knows he is dead, but must play along because he gives her clout. My though anyhow…]

Another mystery? Gyp Rosetti. Good lord this guy is off his rocker. And at the same time, he’s a good businessman. When he was talking to Gillian he seemed quite normal and sane. He was even capable of laughing at himself when he starts to take offense to Nucky saying something about being in “your neck of the woods”. BUT THEN HE DOES THIS!!!

Oh my god. Seriously. That was all I could say. You would think that watching a show where people’s heads are blown off on the regular, something violent wouldn’t be all that surprising. You’d be wrong. Gyp dropped that lighter and all I could see was this.

If we learned nothing else this episode, do not wish Gyp Rosetti good luck. Or buona fortuna. Or “bone for tuna”- you know that kid’s Irish so the spelling is off. Seriously, Nucky nailed it on the head with his “you’d find offense in a bouquet of roses”. What the hell is wrong with the guy? And why do I enjoy his psychosis so much?

[Little tidbit- the movie Gyp’s driver was talking about (when you could see Gyp come undone over Nucky wishing him bone for tuna) was Nosferatu. I am not a horror/scary/monster movie fan by any means so I had no idea, but thankfully the internet came to my rescue on that one. Stay tuned the GrizzlyBomb because coming up this month we are highlighting our favorite Halloween characters and I’m pretty sure Nosferatu made the list.]

Speaking of people I enjoy- Lucky Luciano and Meyer Lansky made an appearance!

They are still doing their heroine thing and Lucky is not happy with their dealings with Masseria. Of course the adorable Meyer Lansky was the voice of reason telling him that they just needed to bid their time with him. In perfect gangster fashion though, he goes from ‘let’s be calm, cool, and collected’ to shooting at Masseria’s men in the street with none other than heroin delivery boy extraordinaire/Benny ‘Bugsy’ Seigel. Shit is getting real there in New York.

The honor of “second best part of episode” belongs to Richard Harrow and Mickey Doyle. Especially this particular moment:

Mickey takes credit for Manny’s death to make himself look like a bad ass and gets ratted out by a delivery boy during a drop to the whorehouse where Richard is tending bar. Richard gets Mickey at gunpoint and then trots his happy ass over to Nucky telling him to deal with Mickey- it was perfect. Everything about it. Especially when Richard greets Mickey with a gun right as he drops trou. I mean seriously, perfection. However, it does make us ask once again, how the hell is Mickey Doyle still sucking air? HOW? He’s a lucky bastard.

And when Richard tells Nucky that he killed Manny for Angela Darmody?

It was too much. I think I died a little with that one. I’m really glad that he came out and said it was just for Angela though. I mean I always assumed, but it’s nice to hear. The part about Jimmy being a soldier, fighting and losing, was also very well written. Nucky you are safe once again- from Richard at least.

You know who you aren’t safe from? This woman:

Last week I was a little meh with Margaret, but this week is a totally different story. Margaret wins the “best storyline of the episode by far, so much so that no one else even had a chance”. And to think, I was sort of annoyed with the prenatal care hill that she was so intent to die on. I thought it was going to be slow and boring.

I. Was. Wrong.

Before that though, Margaret needs to be recognized for coming up with the best alternative for “f–k you and the horse you rode in on” I have ever witnessed. Nucky tells her that he can’t sleep, after being gone for god only knows how long, and she just gives a slight shrug, saying “some warm milk perhaps”. In other words Nucky, she isn’t listening to your shit anymore. Perhaps if you hadn’t been a complete ass who got pissed over money (okay, it was a lot of money) and then ran off to New York with that Broadway chippy you would still have a wife who gave two shits about you and your obvious mental issues. Instead you have a wife who will stand at the back of a church, remind you of your wedding day, give a slight nod to the aforementioned showgirl with her statement about “the show must go on” and pretty much say your marriage is in shambles but you must still put on appearances so walk your ass down this aisle and be happy about it.

I’m sure if Nucky weren’t so caught up in his hallucinations over the “shot in the face” choir boy, he would have been as equally as impressed by Margaret’s next move as I was. There they were, enjoying the nice reception for Nucky’s St. Gregory Award. Margaret is called over for her previously requested moment with the bishop and she takes the opportunity to introduce him to the doctor who had earlier commented that landscaping was more important than prenatal care.

All of a sudden- BOOM- Margaret thanks the doctor for opening a women’s clinic and isn’t that just the greatest thing bishop? Isn’t he amazing? Isn’t this going to be the best thing ever, your excellency? Margaret Thompson, you are f–king awesome. From shy and timid pregnant housewife to cornering an asshole doctor into doing the one thing he would never do- impressive.

Even though there wasn’t any Chicago (outside of VanAlden) or Chalky, and Nucky was a bit annoying with the constantly calling Billie Kent and then going back up there in a very stalkerish manner, this was by far my favorite episode out of the three so far. Gyp was entertaining and disturbing, Gillian was creepy but still moved the story along, and Richard and Margaret were amazing.

I’m going to have to go ahead and give it a five out of five.

I just hope that don’t make me regret renewing my love for Margaret’s storyline. I will be quite disappointed. I’ll be back next week and we’ll see!