WWE Monday Night Raw Recap & Review: August 22, 2011

Raw begins with Alberto Del Rio, getting ready to bore us to death at the start of the show. He of course comes out in one of those borrowed cars, what a piece of trash. After his dragged out entrance he finally grabs a mic and before he even does his lame introduction he is quickly interrupted by John Cena, who gets a standing ovation. Cena grabs a mic and introduces himself as the man who is going to take that belt from him. He goes on to say that CM Punk is the only person who can go toe to toe with him, so whipping Del Rio’s ass won’t be a problem. And just as this leaves his mouth CM Punk’s music hits, and he gets an equally loud ovation. CM Punk says that if anybody is going to get a title shot it’s going to be him. Both Cena and Punk say that they are going to cash in their rematch clause to face Del Rio. Triple H then comes out, I like the suit tonight though. Triple H says that tonight there will be a number one contendership match between CM Punk and Cena in the main event of the show.

Commercial Break…

Alberto Del Rio vs. John Morrison

Morrison begins by throwing a few punches and knocking Del Rio to the outside of the ring. Once back in, Del Rio begins gaining some offense. I can’t be the only one who thinks that Del Rio is an absolute joke of a champion. Heres my thing, when the WWE champion is only entertaining enough to be the first match on Raw, there’s a problem. He has a boring personality and  it would be awful for ratings to keep Del Rio as champion after “Night of Champions.”Back to the match, Morrison and Del Rio are on the outside of the ring, and Del Rio shoves Morrison into the barricade before Raw cuts to a commercial break.

After the break, Morrison is getting destroyed. However, as wrestling goes, John Morrison begins to retaliate and begins fighting back into this. Actually, hats off to both these wrestlers, this is turning into a pretty good match. Morrison is still in control, and going for “star ship pain” but misses it and soon finds himself in an arm bar which he taps out to. Actually a great match, and after the match Del Rio begins attacking Morrison just for good measure.
Commercial Break…

Nicki Bella vs. Eve Torres

This  cat fight begins with Nicki throwing some punches and pulling some hair. Eve begins fighting back and I believe we have broken 2 minutes, which is the longest Divas match I’ve seen on Raw in the last couple months. Nicki and Eve go at it for a couple more minutes before Eve Torres wins the match.

After the match Kelly Kelly, who was in the corner of Eve, comes in the face plants the other Bella for no apparent reason.

Commercial Break…

Jack Swagger vs. Alex Riley

Vicki Guerrero comes out and introduces Jack Swagger, who we saw last week approach Vicki about managing him. As the match begins, Dolph Ziggler comes out and begins arguing with Vicki and in the process distracts Jack Swagger. After the distraction Alex Riley rolls up Swagger into the three count.

Boring match, and once again the WWE refuses to use Alex Riley to the extent that they probably could.

Commercial Break…

After the break, Triple H comes out to supposedly clear up what happened at SummerSlam. Triple H calls out Kevin Nash so they can explain everything to the crowd. Kevin Nash walks out to no music.

Triple H then goes on to say that it wasn’t him that sent that text, and Nash says that he will not apologize to CM Punk. Punk then comes out and says that his bet is that Stephanie McMahon sent the text message. Just when CM Punk is about to Go after Nash, Triple H holds him back. CM Punk goes on to tell Triple H that he’s got his balls stuck in his wifes purse. Just as this happens, Nash attacks Punk from the side, and Triple H and Nash hurry out of the ring together.

Commercial Break

Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne vs. David Otunga and Michael Mcgillicutty

McGillicutty and Bourne start the match and Evan Bourne is beating up McGillicuty. I really think that Bourne and Kingston would be an awesome tag team championship team. Both have an extremely unique wrestling style, and I’m agreeing with everything that Jerry Lawler is saying right now. Otunga and McGillicutty are not entertaining wrestlers, they make piss poor champions and they show nothing unique about their personalities and wrestling styles. Back to the match, after an incredible performance by both Kingston and Bourne, Bourne hits his back flip off of the top rope to get the pinfall win for the tag team titles. I’m absolutely thrilled, and can’t wait to see these two wrestle as a tag team more often!

Backstage, John Laurinaitis runs up to HHH and tells him that Kevin Nash has been in a car accident. His poor acting is almost uncomfortable to watch. He then gives Hunter the name of the hospital and HHH takes off to see if he is ok. Laurinaitis says that he’ll take care of the rest of the night.

My guess is that Kevin Nash had triple H notified of a car accident just to get him out of the arena so he can get involved in the main event and not have Triple H stop him. We shall see what goes down in about 30 minutes.

Commercial Break…

And here comes grizzly bomb writer Darthsaeris’s favorite wrestler in the world, Santino Marella! As he is coming out to the ring, R-Truth and the Miz attack Santino from behind, thank God we don’t have to see him actually compete in a match. R-Truth grabs a mic and begins talking about how Cena, Punk, Stephanie McMahon, Triple H, are all conspiring against him and Miz. The Miz and his stupid hair cut begin talking about how he agrees with R-Truth. Miz begins rambling and his words really aren’t worth typing, so I’ll just have you all know he is wasting everyone’s time.

Commercial Break

CM Punk vs. John Cena (#1 Contender-ship match)

Alberto Del Rio and John Laurinaitis are both at ring side, LAME! Side note: I happen to love that CM Punk yells out, “It’s clobbering Time,” before he runs down to the ring. The fact that there is still 20 minutes left in the night, is a definite indicator that were going have a full match! The match starts with a lock up, and John Cena is the first to gain momentum. Lawler begins saying how he doesn’t believe CM Punk is that good, and the “idiotic statement of the night award” goes to the guy with the plastic crown. Punk begins fighting back, but not long before Cena knocks Punk off the top turnbuckle and to the outside of the ring. And we have a commercial break. When Raw returns, we see a back and forth battle and Cena gets Punk in the STFU, Punk doesn’t tap. Immediately after we see CM Punk hit Cena with a “Go to Sleep,” and Cena kicks out. Punk then goes to the top rope and misses an elbow drop, which Cena rolls out of the way from. Both men are laying face first in the middle of the ring. As both men get to their feet, Punk hits Cena with a knee to the face, and Cena hits Punk with an attitude adjustment, but neither move ends the match.  Oh and I’m right on the money with my prediction, Nash is back and CM punk is distracted by this. When he turns back around Cena hits him with the “attitude adjustment” again and pins Punk for the win.

After the match Alberto runs in the ring and attacks John Cena. The show ends with this, and yet again we have many unanswered questions.

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WWE Monday Night Raw Recap & Review: August 8th, 2011

As Raw begins, Triple H comes out to the ring in his cheesy suite and announces that for the CM Punk vs. John Cena match at summer slam there will be a special guest referee. He goes on to say that a match of that magnitude needs a ref that is larger than life, and can take control of such a contest. After building the anticipation for a couple of minutes, you can almost hear a collective sigh of disappointment from the crowd as Triple H tells everybody that he will be the special guest referee.

John Cena comes out and without a microphone, you can hear him and Triple H exchange words about Triple H’s decision for Summer slam. Cena (along with everybody else) clearly isn’t happy about this idea.

Commercial Break…

 John Cena vs. Jack Swagger

Jack Swagger begins the match doing his stupid little airplane run around the ring before John Cena levels him right in the middle of it. Cena has steady control in the match and gets a close pin fall against Swagger. Swagger begins to get a little bit of offense going, but not long before Cena counters. I’ve said it before, but I really think that Jack Swagger has been a bit of a waste of talent in the WWE. I think he could really draw some attention and be an entertaining main event caliber wrestler. Oh and as soon as my fingers type this, John Cena hits the FU (oh I’m sorry we’re now TV-PG, the “attitude adjustment”). John Cena gets the win.

Commercial Break…

When we come back from the commercial break, we are treated to an extra long piss break. Alberto Del Rio is in the back talking smack. R-Truth is in the back talking about why he hates spiders. Ladies and gentlemen, insert next commercial break here!

As Mysterio is walking out to the ring to face the Miz, Miz attacks Rey from behind. (Oh yeah, he’s stompin a good ole fashioned mudhole in Rey Mysterio. This ones looking like a helluva slobber knocker. (Sorry with JR back, I get a bit excited)). As Rey Mysterio lays there, we all do the basic math here and assume that the match is going to be called off. The Miz walks down to the ring and Miz begins saying that he attacked Rey to give him some attention.

He then says he is demanding that a ref comes down to the ring and announces Miz as the winner of the match based on forfeit. A ref comes to the ring but tells ring announcer that Triple H has demanded that Miz compete in a new match. Just then we hear Kofi Kingston’s music hit. Now We have dun dun dun…….

Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz

The match begins as a pretty back and forth contest, however, it is Miz that begins gaining the momentum. Kingston does a pretty sweet dive over the second rope, landing right into the Miz. Raw cuts to a commercial break, when it returns the Miz is in control. This has actually been incredibly boring for a Kofi Kingston match. Kingston starts battling back and does an impressive cross body from the top turnbuckle. Fast forward a couple of minutes and Miz hits his stupid face plant move, and beats Kingston. WWE can’t let any true talent get ahead now can they?

Commercial Break…

 Alberto Del Rio. CM Punk

(Yes the excessively large photo of Alberto Del Rio was absolutely necessary there). The match starts with Alberto Del Rio targeting the left arm of CM Punk. CM Punk only lets this go on for a few minutes before he begins dominating Del Rio. CM Punk lands a devastating head kick, and then follows with the GTS to get the pin fall win.

 Commercial Break…

 Beth Phoenix vs. Eve

As the match starts, Beth Phoenix in all of her manliness is beating up Eve. Beth Phoenix is kind of reminding me of Chyna (Without the steroids though). Just like every other women’s match, this one doesn’t last very long. Beth Phoenix hits the “glam slam,” and gets the three count. As Beth Phoenix is running her mouth after the match, Kelly Kelly comes running out and knocks her down from behind. Michael Cole begins freaking out about this, saying that Kelly Kelly sets a bad example as women’s champion.

All I know is that the only Women wrestler’s they’re ever going to show consistently on Raw is the women’s champion, and if Beth Phoenix wins the title Sunday and I have to stare at her ugly ass every Monday Night, I’m going to be pissed.

 Commercial Break..

 Dolph Ziggler vs. Alex Riley

Wow, and I’m actually really excited for this match. Two wrestlers who I feel have great potential to be fantastic wrestlers. The match starts and after two minutes, Vicki slaps Alex Riley, and the match is over with a disqualification.

My frustration tonight is growing by the minute. Once they have a half way decent match going, it of course has to end in less than five minutes. After Dolph confronts Vicki about this, she walks out of the ring saying that she doesn’t need this anymore.

Ps– It does not look like Vicki is wearing a bra tonight, and I just puked a little in my mouth.

Commercial break…

 R-truth vs. John Morrison

R-Truth really needs an actual entrance song. As the match gets going John Morrison does a really sweet dive over the top rope onto R-Truth. However, it soon becomes R-Truth that takes control, and gets the pin fall win. If this sounded like a boring over view of a match, it’s because it was a very boring match.

Commercial Break…

 Contract Signing for the Summer Slam main event.

Triple H is standing in the ring with John Laurinaitis, and CM Punk makes his way out to the ring, quickly followed by John Cena. (The crowd is incredibly unenthusiastic about pretty much everything tonight). CM Punk then begins saying that a contract signing is stupid because they are never entertaining. CM Punk then says that he has an actor that is going to tell John Cena why Punk doesn’t like John Cena. Then Punk plays a clip of the Rock making fun of John Cena for being a fake. After a bit of trash talking back and forth between the two, this contract signing turns into a debate about who is phonier, John Cena or CM Punk. John Cena’s final diss of the night, comes when he says that if CM Punk doesn’t win on Sunday then he will have been nothing more than a one hit wonder. The two stand face to face, and poor John Lauranaitis who is standing in the ring with Triple H as well, gets kicked in the head by CM Punk.

(Poor Johnny Ace)

After a few shoves, CM Punk gets knocked out of the ring inadvertently. After getting pushed out of the ring, Punk looks back at Cena and Hunter and yells out, “Is this the way it’s going to be (Or something like that)?” Clearly insinuating that they are teaming up against Punk for Summer slam.

I’d have to say Raw was extremely lackluster tonight. Not a whole lot of action, and what could have been the best match of the night was ended by Vicki Guerrero slapping Alex Riley in the face. Hopefully this is the end of the Vicki/Dolph Ziggler alliance, but who knows. Summer slam is Sunday on Pay-Per View at 8 PM Eastern time.

Also important to note that Rey Mysterio is set to face whoever wins the undisputed title at Summer slam next Monday, for that title.

WWE Monday Night Raw Review: June 27th, 2011!

In the same spirit as the last couple of weeks, tonight’s episode of Raw is yet another special event as the WWE brings back ‘Raw Roulette’. Not only this, but we already knew prior to tonight’s event that the “Heart Break Kid” – Shawn Michaels is going to be in Sin City for the show.

At the start of the show Shawn Michaels makes his way to the ring, and says that he’s had a hard time leaving the WWE. He’s getting all sappy, and kissing the crowds ass, telling them they made him who he was.  He is quickly interrupted by CM Punk, and a couple of his sideshow clowns, McGillicutty and Otunga. Punk begins to give HBK crap for coming back after he said he was going to retire. After some smack talk about how HBK left the WWE a loser because he lost to the Undertaker at Wrestlemania, Shawn Michaels gave David Otunga a “sweet chin music.” The general manager then sends an email saying that CM Punk will be in the first match of the night and they will spin the roulette wheel to see what kind of match it will be. Booker T (who is apparently the roulette host) comes on the titan tron and spins the wheel, which lands on a mystery opponent. Booker informs Punk that his opponent will be Kane. Michaels who is still in the ring, then hits McGillicutty with a sweet chin music and tells CM Punk good luck with the match.

Commercial Break…  

CM Punk vs. Kane

The match begins with Kane man handling Punk. He quickly throws Punk to the outside of the ring, and throwing him into the barricade. Once back in the ring, Kane still continues to dominate Punk. CM Punk retaliates with a desperate kick to the head of Kane, and begins picking apart the big red machine. This seems to be the match of head kicks, as Kane gains control back from Punk by doing just that. CM Punk rolls out of the ring, and begins walking to the back. While walking to the back, CM Punk (Who has already promised that after his match in three weeks for the WWE championship, he is going to leave the company) begins yelling at the crowd saying, “What are they going to do, fire me?” Michael Cole then makes one of the most valid points he has ever made, by saying that this was the smartest thing Punk could have done. He already has his title shot, and there would be no point in risking an injury in this match.

Commercial Break…

WWE Monday Night Raw Review: June 13th 2011

Tonight is All Star Night! I don’t know what the hell that means except tonight’s Raw is three hours long! I’ll be your writer for the first hour of tonight’s broadcast, and Godzark will take it home with the last two.

After last week, Stone Cold Steve Austin is back for more as tonight’s Raw manager, and he comes out to stop one of those dime a dozen Miz rants just before I’m about to change the channel. He makes it clear to Miz that he’ll stomp the shit out of him if he doesn’t listen. Austin gives Miz his due and lets him know that him and Alex Riley will be getting some much-needed “therapy” right in the ring tonight… By Rowdy Roddy Piper in Piper’s Pit. If you don’t remember, that is Roddy Piper’s famous in the ring talk show. Note exhibit A below:

We can only hope he smashes someone in the face with a coconut. Miz leaves the ring and up pulls Alberto Del Rio with one of his beautiful cars. The scum bags are coming out of the woodwork for All Star Night! Del Rio babbles for a second about how gloriously awesome he is before Austin brings up the Big Show, and Del Rio’s monkey boy running his leg over with a car. He figures since Del Rio can’t fight Big Show, he can do the next best thing in a match with Show’s partner Kane right now. Unfortunately the match wasn’t very long at all. Kane had the upper hand most of the time, utilizing his brute force against Del Rio, but then our Mexican friend busts out crucifix armbar and doesn’t let go even after Kane grabs onto a rope. The ref calls the match as a disqualification and Del Rio still won’t let go, but then Big Show runs out…. yes he ran out on his leg that was run over by a car. Ok….

WWE Monday Night Raw Review: June 6, 2011

Raw begins with the crowning of the Tough Enough champion Andy! This is quickly followed by Andy receiving a Stone Cold Stunner, by Stone Cold Steve Austin.

 As the actual show begins, R-Truth makes his way to the ring, where Stone Cold and Vince McMahon are waiting. R-Truth has been given the opportunity to earn a WWE championship opportunity at “Capitol Punishment,” by apologizing for his actions last week. R-Truth delivers a half-hearted apology for his actions, before Steve Austin calls him a jackass for dressing in costume. After R-Truth goes on about how the company is one big conspiracy, The Miz comes out to interrupt him. Miz comes out and says that he deserves another championship opportunity, but is quickly interrupted by Alex Riley. John Cena is quick to join the party going on inside of the ring as well. John Cena tells Miz to stop being a, “jack wagon” and get over himself.  Vince McMahon declares the main event on Raw a tag team match between John Cena and Alex Riley vs. R-Truth and the Miz, with special guest referee Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Commercial Break…  

WWE Monday Night Raw Review: May 30th, 2011

The show begins with a message saying that tonight’s Raw was to be dedicated to the men and women in the armed services.

After this we see backstage footage of R-truth at a merchandise booth, tearing down John Cena merchandise. Truth makes his way to inside the arena and begins walking through the crowd ranting about how everybody is wearing John Cena t-shirts. After continuing his rant inside the ring, John Cena interrupts R-truth. Cena tells R-Truth he is living in a fantasy world for thinking that there is a conspiracy to keep him away from main event status. John Cena says that he would be happy to knock some sense back into R-truth. The anonymous general manager says that the match will be made official for later in the night. Commercial break…

WWE Wrestlemania 27 Review: The Year of the Snooki

Wrestlemania officially came and went tonight. It sometimes sizzled, but most times fizzled. I watched it with my brother tonight, getting that nostalgic feeling watching it at times. And yes… we both know and have known for a very long time that wrestling is indeed fake. However, this is a tradition we do try to keep every year and it was for the most part very entertaining. Certain wrestlers we thought would emerge victorious did not in several matches, especially in the first match that we will start with.

Championship Match: Alberto Del Rio V.S. Edge

Surprisingly the first match of the night was for the World Heavyweight Championship belt that is usually retained by the champion on Smackdown, which is currently held by the Rated R Superstar Edge. His challenger… this year’s Royal Rumble winner Alberto Del Rrrrrrrriiiioooooo! And yes, he is a rich Mexican themed wrestler who drives out to every match in a Rolls-Royce. But down to business…

I thought for sure Del Rio was going to come out on top for this one. This guy has been built up on Smackdown for months now and it all culminated with a shocking win in the Royal Rumble. I knew for sure he wasn’t going to challenge the WWE Champion from Raw, so it was a given it would be a Del Rio/Edge matchup at Wrestlemania. What I didn’t bank on was Del Rio losing to Edge. I’m not so sure this will be the end of their feud nor the end of Del Rio as a contender, but one thing is for sure – Del Rio looked like a whiny little bitch after the match while Edge beat the crap out of his Rolls-Royce with a crowbar. I don’t know about you guys but I’d be intervening ASAP on someone smashing a car that nice.

Overall this was a pretty entertaining match, with little interference by those outside the ring by Del Rio’s ring announcer Ricardo and the rotund Brodus Clay. Plenty of spears and arm breakers to go around. Winner: Edge

Cody Rhodes v.s. Rey Mysterio

In this match we were able to see the Rhodes/Mysterio feud come to a head. You see, the once Dashing Cody Rhodes has recently had to wear a face mask to protect his face from further damage after reconstructive surgery. He needed the surgery, he claims, due to the devastating 619 Mysterio gave to him months ago. Apparently Rey Mysterio’s knee brace added a little more power to the infamous move.

One interesting moment was before the match began as Mysterio entered the arena wearing a Captain America styled outfit. I can only say at least he took off the ridiculous red gloves before the match started. A valiant effort Rey, but maybe you should lay off the superhero them.

The match itself wasn’t overly long, but filled with all the high-flying maneuvers that Rey Mysterio is famous for. The match took a ridiculous turn when Cody’s mask was removed (Interestingly I didn’t see any sign of facial reconstruction.) and used by Rey to headbutt him several times. Then to top it off, Cody used Rey’s own knee brace to pummel him and then finish the match with the Crossroads. Sorry little Rey, but maybe you can get some revenge on Raw tonight. Winner: Cody Rhodes

 

 

The Corre V.S. Kane, Big Show, Santino and Kofi

This match was a bit useless and thankfully short. Though it had plenty of superstars I normally enjoy, any match where the walking joke Santino leads them to a win is enough to make me puke. After starting the match, it instantly gets out of control once Big Show gets in to start destroying Heath Slater. After Ezekiel gets in to take out Big Show there is a flurry of specialty moves occurring left and right. Santino then does his patented Cobra strike to Heath Slater and Big Show finishes him off with a ham sized fist to the face, winning the match with a pinfall. I think the match lasted all of six minutes, so thanks for the throwaway match WWE. And also please fire Santino. Winners: Kane, Big Show, Santino and Kofi Kingston.

Losers x4

Randy Orton V.S. CM Punk

Straight Edge Scumbag

Another match with no title hanging in the balance, only a possible end to another long running feud between two fan favorite superstars. After all the skull kicking CM Punk and his Nexus minions have received from Randy’s foot, tonight was the night to end it all hopefully. The match was nothing special, but well paced and ending in true Randy Orton style…. with a mid-air RKO to end the match. Again, I am very pleased with the absence of all the outside interference that ruins the pay per view matches. Now maybe Randy Orton can get back into the race for the WWE Championship that has eluded him these past months. I can’t tell anymore if people want to see Randy as a hero or villain (Face or Heel). Personally I want to see him back at his twisted sadistic self, but against someone other than John Cena. Winner: Randy Orton

Orton loves kicking skulls…

Jerry Lawler V.S. Michael Cole

“Uhhh Derrrr…”

I couldn’t wait for this match because I’ve been aching to see Michael Cole get a real good beating because quite frankly I can’t freakin’ stand him. Hearing him drone on with obvious bias to the villains in each match was bad enough but then before the match we had to hear him even more on his trek to the ring. At least Stone Cold Steve Austin busted out on a four-wheeler to shut the little weasel up for a bit.

After Lawler comes out and some prodding to get Cole in the ring the match finally starts with Jack Swagger in Cole’s corner and Steve Austin as the special referee. Cole gets a cheap shot in on Lawler and beats on him for a bit until Lawler finally gets ahold of him. Swagger actually tries to throw in the towel to call the match off which Stone Cold promptly uses to wipe off the sweat from his bald head before giving Mr. Swagger a Stone Cold Stunner. Lawler proceeds to whoop on Cole until he taps out from an ankle lock submission hold. Cue applause and Austin and Lawler enjoy a few beers together in the ring before the general manager sends and e-mail announcement that commentator Josh Matthews reads to the audience.

It turns out the still “anonymous” general manager of Raw thought that Austin interfered too much on Lawler’s behalf and disqualifies him making Cole the actual winner. This must have been hard to announce given the fact that Michael Cole recently called Matthews a “faggot” over twitter. To make matters even worse in a stunning move (pun intended) Lawler throws Matthews in the ring to get a Stunner from Austin. Talk about killing the messenger. Inexplicably, Austin’s Tough Enough partner in crime Booker T leaves the commentators table to join Austin and Lawler in celebrating by doing his famous break dancing in the middle of the ring. Then, in what I thought was the funniest part of the night, Booker T begins to drink a beer offered to him by Austin before he is also given a Stone Cold Stunner. A huge geyser of spit out beer and Booker T on the ground follows with Austin smiling and saying something to the effect of – “I had to do it.” Vintage Austin. Official Winner: Michael Cole

Undertaker V.S. Triple H

“Nice hammer….”

This was the match that I think everyone including myself were waiting for and it was by far the best match of the night. Sure there weren’t any titles on the line or even a career long feud between the two. Triple H was just the next obvious choice to attempt breaking the Undertaker’s unbeaten Wrestlemania streak which at this point stood at 18-0. To make it even better this was a no holds barred, no disqualifications or count out match and these two superstars definitely took it to the limit.

They broke the spanish commentators’ table of course. They used the steel steps and a nice folding chair. They both executed their specialty moves, with Triple H using at least two Pedigrees on the Taker. But pin after pin neither of these wrestling behemoths would yield. In the coolest moment of the match, Triple H gave the Undertaker his own move: the tombstone piledriver. To add insult to injury, Triple H even pinned the Undertaker as he himself would but shockingly the phenom kicked out of the pin. Triple H finally resorted to going beneath the ring for his patented tool the trusty sledgehammer to finish things but was surprised by being locked into the Taker’s submission move the Hell’s Gate. After what seemed like an eternity Triple H finally gave several weakened taps of the hand to signal his surrender and now the record still stands…. 19-0. I have to admit I thought that Triple H might win the match and end the Undertaker’s streak but now I think the WWE will let him retire with the record intact, maybe after win number 20. Winner: The Undertaker

 

 

Snooki, Trish Stratus and John Morrison V.S. Laycool and Dolph Zigler

“I can haz cheezburger?”

This is actually a match that I couldn’t give a dead moose’s last crap about, because I hate Jersey Shore and everyone involved in it. Especially Snooki. But I will definitely let you know who won so we can stop wasting time with it. Snooki, Stratus and John Morrison won the match after we had to see the horrendous Snooki do a front flip and expose her jelly rolls to all. Thank you for that WWE. Winners: Who cares.

 

Main Event: Cena V.S. Miz (Champion)

 

This match was very much like the Jericho/Triple H follow up to the Hulk Hogan/Rock match-up at Wrestlemania 18; it’s a tough act to follow up. Try as this match might, it could not live up to the Undertaker-Triple H match that took place earlier in the night. It came down to the same stuff we see Cena and Miz doing nearly every Monday night and it just bored me. I fully expected Cena to win and when he didn’t I suppose that was the only surprise to come of it. I hate Cena but I definitely hate the Miz more so I was actually pulling for Cena to come out on top. The short match actually had a couple of surprising twists. Cena destroys Miz outside of the ring, at one point hurting himself too resulting in their joint count out. The title then stays in Miz’s hands. But wait, the Rock who is the host of this Wrestlemania comes out and begins to read a new e-mail from the general manager before stopping and smashing the computer. Rock then declares that the match will restart with no disqualifications or count outs. The match commences and in annoying fashion the Rock interferes with a Rock Bottom for Cena. The Miz pins him and wins. But the Rock isn’t finished, because he proceeds to attack the Miz also and gives him the most electrifying move in sports! (The People’s Elbow.) So a very lackluster ending to Wrestlemania which left a sour taste in my mouth. I was glad to have The Rock back but what a stupid way to end the biggest wrestling event of the year. Boo! Winner: The Miz

 

Check out what happened the following night at RAW!!!