WWE to Remake Leprechaun – Work of Genius or the Day Horror Died?

The Leprechaun movies make up a very long line of fan favorite films getting the remake treatment. This new film will be called Leprechaun Origins and will be directed by Zach Lipovsky. If you are unaware of Mr Lipovsky’s work, and I am guessing most of you are, then here is a quote from Gamma Squad that gives us a bit of information about him.

[quote] Lipovsky has written and directed numerous short films and TV movies, and he also produced the upcoming found-footage action-thriller Ends of the Earth, which CBS Films will release in the U.S. and Sony Pictures Worldwide Acquisitions, will distribute overseas. He’s currently developing a Canadian movie about the War of 1812 in the vein of “300.”[/quote]

So that all seems promising enough for someone I had never heard of before, but the director is not the real shock here. The shocking news is that it is the WWE (with Lionsgate) is in charge of the remake. The entity famous for wrestling has their own film production company, which makes sense when you think that wrestling itself is just a mix of soap operas, colorful costumes, and fighting. They don’t call it sports entertainment for nothing you know. Now the WWE stable of movies has more misses than it does hits. For every fun movie like The Marine, we have the hideous cinematic failures like Knucklehead and The Chaperone. In the company’s defense however, their foray into the horror genre, while mindless, was actually lots of fun, with the hulking wrestler Kane throwing people around like rag dolls in See No Evil. It at least kept your bum in its seat.

The problem with this latest installment however is casting. Take a look at the original Leprechaun played by the great Warwick Davis. He looks pretty cool right?

Now look at Hornswoggle the wrestler the WWE has put in as the lead character.

Granted, this won’t be the Leprechaun costume in the movie, but still, this guy is no Warwick Davis. In the WWE Hornswoggle is your goofy vertically challenged character that gets his ass kicked, but is supposed to be lovable. Can he pull of this new horror role? With Lionsgate wanting this new instalment to be darker in tone (like every other remake out there) we will have to wait and see if he has the acting chops to pull this off. My personal feeling is that no one is going to be able to pull off what Warwick Davis did in these movies. Sure they got really silly near the end but Warwick’s charm kept you watching.

But hey maybe I am wrong and Dylan Postl (the wrestler / actor playing Hornswoggle) just needs this change to break out and give us all a scare. The first movie was a pretty dark affair already, so it will be interesting to see how WWE is going to top that. The original had a young Jennifer Aniston being chased by a Leprechaun who planned to rape her while murdering everyone else. That is a tough act to follow, but this is the same company that introduced necrophilia into its wrestling plots. This could be either the funniest horror film this year or one of the worst turkeys imaginable, and with the WWE track record I am betting on the worst. If nothing else it will be interesting to see if it can make people forget about the Leprechaun’s trip into space…

Aniston and Sudeikis team up for ‘We’re The Millers’ – Red Band Trailer

Jason Sudeikis may not have himself officially announced that he is leaving SNL (Jay Pharoah tweeted about his departure but it has since been taken down), but he is returning to the big screen with Jennifer Aniston in We’re the Millers. At first glance, it might seem like this is just a rip off of Robin Williams’ movie RV but one look at the trailer and you quickly realize, it is not.

Sometimes summer comedy movies can be rather hit or miss, but I think this might be a winner. It looks good from the green band trailer but, unsurprisingly, it looks amazing from the red band trailer.

I’ll go ahead and vocalize what everyone is thinking – Jennifer Aniston is hot! I don’t know if this is a new development or if I just haven’t noticed it before but damn.

Of course Jennifer Aniston isn’t the only draw here. Nick Offerman married to Kathryn Hahn? That’s damn near as good a combination as Nick Offerman married to Megan Mullalley. Nick Offerman, Kathryn Hahn, Jennifer Aniston, and Jason Sudeikis in a swinging foursome? This is shaping up to be a great movie!

If my time enjoying Jason Sudeikis on the small screen is over, I rest easy knowing that he is still getting decent enough roles in Hollywood even if that means smuggling pot for Andy Bernard.

Grizzly Review: Wanderlust

In 2001, the cult comedy to top all cult comedies, Wet Hot American Summer, was released to rather negative reviews (obviously). Garnering an A from Entertainment Weekly, but low markings from pretty much everywhere else, the film was discarded into oblivion after its release, only to resurface as a God of the cult world a few years later. Director and co-writer David Wain had since then made a couple of movies including The Ten and the critical and commercial success, Role Models, which definitely took a turn for the subdued in the “Wain humor” category.

Grizzly Review: New Year’s Eve

Garry Marshall, the director of 1990’s Pretty Woman, has become the official go to man for the “ensemble romance director revolving around a holiday”. In 2010, he released Valentine’s Day, a critically panned movie that follows about 12 couples preparing for everything going on during Valentine’s Day. As a sucker for romance regardless of the cheesiness, I’m a fan of Valentine’s Day only because it stars a surprising amount of my favorite actors, and manages to keep me entertained for its 125 minute running time, otherwise known as “bloated”. Now, his follow up, which is called New Year’s Eve, stars about half of the cast of Valentine’s Day, replacing the other half with equally as talented stars who probably needed a paycheck.

New Year’s Eve takes the word “cheesy” to a whole new plateau that I didn’t even think was attainable, but goddammit, I enjoyed it anyway. By incorporating what seemed like less storylines, New Year’s Eve manages to have a little more focus than its predecessor while still maintaining the choppiness that we’ve come to know and love from each and every plot. The stories are as cliché as ever, but come on, love is grand and we all want to see the happy couples inevitably make it through whatever they might be going through.

The writing is god awful, but I think that’s to be expected and really not worth commenting on since the reason you go see these movies isn’t believability, quality, or even the potential gem. No, it’s not happening, so get it out of your mind now. The sole purpose New Year’s Eve exists it to make money, and I’m okay with that, because I got my $7.50 worth of movie, and I really can’t complain about getting what I paid for can I?

This whole ensemble comedy romance thing was really catapulted with 2009’s He’s Just Not That Into You, which is by far the best and most coherent entry in this little “series”. Starring talent like Ben Affleck, Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Aniston, Justin Long, Scarlett Johansson, and many, many more, we as audiences saw that big name stars really can share the screen without trying to one-up each other. The film, which is based off of a self-help book, was a hit, a hit that inevitably lead to even more successful sequels that compromised quality for quantity.

Frankly, I don’t care why they make these movies, why they make them, who the demographic is, or whether or not they’re considered “good movies” or not. I like watching them because I get to see some of my favorite young, and even seasoned, professionals make absolute fools of themselves by spouting cringe-worthy dialogue and dishing out performances that are akin to a high school play. There’s a scene in New Year’s Eve involving Halle Berry, Hilary Swank, and Robert DeNiro. It’s the best acted scene in the entire movie, but it made me think how a collective 7 Oscars in one room can equate to a movie so gleefully awful, that you just have to see it.

It also seems like each of these movies gets less and less raunchy in its content. I swear, if it weren’t for one f-bomb in this entire movie, it probably would’ve been rated PG, which I’m not totally opposed to. It really is an innocent movie, which is kind of nice to witness. A romantic comedy that the whole family can enjoy, even those as young as 10 or 11. New Year’s Eve is on the safe side of PG-13, and hey, we all need a little bit of kid friendly movie-going in our lives.

New Year’s Eve is prime cheesiness, bearing no resemblance to what a human being would call realism. The acting is atrocious as is the writing, but you can’t help but be sucked in by the almost overamplified barrage of cliché, and the heartwarming scenes that may make you shed one little manly tear. It’s the perfect movie to see with a loved one on a rainy day, because you’ll walk out feeling great regardless.

3/5 Bears

‘Hard Knocks’ Rejected Yet Again, Gets Hug From Jennifer Aniston

Hard Knocks on HBO was one of the most entertaining sports series I have seen. In a world where T.O., OchoCinco, and Lamar Odom can make their mark on reality television, the show is a great way to have comedy, drama, and some good ol’ Rex Ryan to keep you happy throughout the NFL preseason. Obviously with the uncertainty clouding the current season, it seems everyone is skittish about being the next team chronicled on the premium channel.

According to the Detroit Free Press, PFT/NBC Sports, and CBS Sports, so far the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Denver Broncos, Atlanta Falcons, and even Dr. Kronner’s beloved Detroit Lions have all rejected offers to be the next ‘Hard Knocks’ team. (PFT’s Poll for who the fans want out of the NFC) A lot of the speculation goes with the lockout ongoing with no real end in sight, there’s no point in having a TV crew document a training camp that may or may not happen. There’s no drama in watching coaches sitting in a room hoping their players get through their playbook while running their player workouts at some random high school. There’s no comedy in watching trainers and other employees at their facilities getting laid off, or stadium workers struggling to find another job to make ends meet. Heck, even Rex Ryan’s Jets want no part of it and I would watch a show with him any day of the week (unless it’s about feet. That’s just…no).

So who’s the next team they ask? Looking at the list of the Bucs, Lions, Broncos, and Falcons, they are looking for the team that is about to take the next step and has intriguing storylines. With the Bucs, can they carry over their momentum, and can Josh Freeman establish himself as an elite QB? Can the Lions finally break the streak and protect Matthew Stafford? Can the Broncos with Elway in charge, rebuild on the fly with John Fox and Tim Tebow? Could the Falcons and Matty Ice lead the Dirty Birds back to the Super Bowl? Here are some suggestions of teams that they can go to:

Seattle Seahawks

Pete Carroll loves him some attention and having turned around the ‘Hawks into a playoff team (albeit in the NFC West) after the year before should garner some good attention. They have a solid young D, a charismatic coach, and a crazy person in Marshawn Lynch. That’s solid television right there. Add in a Carson Palmer trade? That’s gold.

San Francisco 49ers

Jim Harbaugh should get chronicled as well as he makes the transition into a NFL gig. You have an under-achieving team for the last couple of years under Mike Singletary (who also, is a golden candidate for this show) ready to shake things up and turn it all around. With Frank Gore, Vernon Davis, and Patrick Willis to anchor the team, they can turn a few heads. Plus Patrick Willis is possibly the best damn linebacker in the game right now. I would love for them to pick his head on the show and break down his process.

St. Louis Rams

I’m aware that I’ve picked all NFC West teams and there’s a reason for this: They all can win the division (except Arizona, the curse of Kurt Warner remains) and they all have great young talent. Sam Bradford has the look to be a great QB and with Stephen Jackson behind him and James Laurinaitis securing the defense in the middle, they have a good shot to have teams circle them on the schedule. And the rumors of Chad OchoCinco going to the SL? It’d be a shame if his VH1 show was the only reality show in the area.

Baltimore Ravens

Set camera down. Put Ray Lewis in front of it. Record. That’s all you would have to do. They did it once before and they set the tone of the series. It’d be cool to have them bring it back with Ray-Ray in his final years, Flacco trying to make the jump, and just to see that defense in their meetings and on the practice field. You have to wonder why they’ve been able to stay so consistent year after year. They would be a prime candidate for sure because they are also waiting to take that next step and jump over the Steelers.

Philadelphia Eagles

Michael Vick is a polarizing figure. You either hate his guts (deservedly so) or want him to claw his way back to the top and root for him (also deserved since he’s passed through the system). Chronically him alone would make for great television as you see him emerge as the go-to man on his second team and to see if he cracks under the pressure. Just like he did in the playoffs. Can he rebound? Does Andy Reid really know what he’s doing? Can they add Nnamdi Asomugha with Asante Samuel to form the scariest corner tandem of the year? Can their defense rebound with yet another new defensive coordinator? These are answers we must know and they must be on HBO!

To close, I did not include the Steelers, Colts, or Patriots for a bunch of little reasons and one big reason. The big reason is they wouldn’t allow it. No team wants cameras pointing at them especially if they like to keep their secrets their own (as Belichick learned a few years ago) and let’s face it, the Patriots and Colts would be boring as hell. There’s no drama there. The Steelers would be intriguing, but you know darn well the Rooney family would not expose themselves like that. Especially since that team relishes the chip on the shoulder attitude, and having the spotlight on them would seem to go against their gritty demeanor. Either way, I hope one of the teams does do Hard Knocks. It truly is great insight into a training camp through the veterans, the rookies, and those struggling just to make the team. As much as reality television annoys the hell out of me, I cannot help but yet sucked in by the human condition and their struggles and triumphs.

Now, about that Hug… 

Horrible Bosses…with Phallic Objects & A Trailer

So the trailer for Horrible Bosses is out and my boss needed an excuse to post the above picture

Admittedly, a bit underwhelmed by the trailer, as it seems a lot more formulaic in terms of comedies. But then I thought about Kevin Spacey being a douche, Jennifer Aniston fellating foods, and a Colin Farrell combover. I’m still willing to get a bit excited for it, because it just looks fun.

And Charlie Day just needs more play, right?

Although not to go back and forth between good and bad, I just saw Brett Ratner is a producer. NOOOOO!!!!! YOU KILLED CYCLOPS!!! HOW DARE YOU WORK AGAIN!!!!