CBS Greenlights Pilot From Louis CK and One of the ‘Seinfeld’ Writers…

I’m going to level with you, I haven’t turned my television on in over a year. This means I’m a little out of touch with the state of television these days, but from what I can gather on their website, CBS is now entirely made up of identical cop dramas and formulaic sitcoms. Also whatever the hell this is.

A Pitbull song in the trailer is TV Short-hand for “This is our Jersey Shore”

It’s not the most refined place for quality programming is what I’m saying. So it may come as a surprise to you to know that CBS just approved a pilot from Louis C.K. and Spike Feresten, two writers from critically acclaimed shows (‘Louie’ and ‘Seinfeld’, respectively). Deadline‘s report included a general idea of what the show will be:

“CBS’s [sic] has greenlighted to pilot an untitled multi-camera comedy written by Louis CK and Spike Feresten, about an ensemble of young people trying to achieve their creative dreams in these tough financial times.“

The show was actually pitched 13 years ago by the two comedy writers under the name Boomtown. At the time, it would have starred Louis C.K. and centred around him and his friends. However C.K. and Feresten have rewritten the script, likely with Louis C.K. out of the lead role, and the new show will finally get a chance.

How directly Louis C.K. will be involved in this new show remains to be seen, which is the main point of interest for me. He is currently enjoying the success of his latest stand-up special, Live at the Beacon Theatre, though he won’t be taking time to rest; Louis has been breaking the comedy mold in the past few years by throwing away all his material each year and starting again from scratch. On top of that he also serves as star, producer, director, editor and sole writer of the hit FX show Louie. I imagine this leaves little time to nurture a brand new show, but there’s nothing I’d rather see on TV than more Louis C.K.

An Ocean of Bad Marketing: Third-Party Controller E-Mails From Hell

Some of you who are old enough will remember going to a friend’s house when you were a kid and sitting down to play N64 or the original Playstation. If so, there’s a good chance you were stuck with the ‘other’ controller. You know the one – it was bulkier, the triggers felt weird and for some reason it was pea-green. Third-party controllers have been around for as long as consoles and their  bizarre designs have always tried to give players a more ergonomic or responsive interface, but more often than not they end up looking impossible to use for human hands. I introduce to you, for illustrative effect, the Avenger N-Control:

It looks like H.R. Giger threw up on his Xbox.

This piece of hardware, that appears to have gained sentience and a few too many tentacles, is supposed to make button-mashing faster and easier for our primitive arm-stumps; an appealing concept for thousands of hardcore gamers, if they can figure out where to put their fingers on the damn thing. I’m saying the third-party controller racket is a weird place to find arrogant businessmen, but that’s what one customer, Dave, got when he ordered his Avenger N-Control from Ocean Marketing and found his shipment inexplicably delayed. Receiving no personal notice or public updates from the company at all, Dave sent an e-mail asking about his purchase, and what followed was an ugly exchange that Dave was kind enough to link to Penny Arcade. Some highlights:

“From: Ocean Marketing
To: Dave
Dec 26, 2011 10:14 AM

Yes it can be used with xtend play if you remove the stand and no one is allowed to cancel and re order if we catch anyone doing it we will simply just cancel your order all together and you can buy it retail somewhere else.

Things happen in manufacturing if your unhappy you have 7 days from the day your item ships for a refund. You placed a pre order just like any software title the gets a date moved due to the tweaks and bugs not being worked out and GameStop or any other place holds your cash and im sure you don’t complain to activision or epic games so put on your big boy hat and wait it out like everyone else. The benefit is a token of our appreaciation for everyone no one is special including you or any first time buyer . Feel free to cancel we need the units were back ordered 11,000 units so your 2 will be gone fast. Maybe I’ll put them on eBay for 150.00 myself. Have a good day Dan.”

And later on, Mike from Penny Arcade jumped in:

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: Season 7, Episode 2 – ‘The Gang Goes to the Jersey Shore’ Review

This week the gang gets out of Philly and heads to America’s most famous shoreline – Jersey. Inspired by talk of a childhood trip (sparked by Frank burning family photos) Dennis and Dee convince the gang to road trip it to the boardwalk and while they end up not having the greatest of times, Frank, Mac, and Charlie all manage to make the trip worthwhile.

DON’T swim to Europe.

We basically split into 3 groups…

Jersey Shore U.K. – Geordie Shore

“I can haz burrito now?”

Not only will the Jersey Shore cast be going off to Italy in their next season, but MTV will be entering a whole new realm with another cast of… gifted young people. Get ready for the British alternative of Jersey Shore! I’m not sure that the United Kingdom needed an alternative to something as idiotic as Jersey Shore, but it would appear that MTV will be infecting our neighbors across the pond with a new batch of drunken idiots, this time with British accents!

You need to check out the teaser below to really get the full effect:

Seriously? Did that whole thing just happen? “I’ll never kiss anyone without a six pack.” and “I’m fit, I’m flirty and I’ve got double F’s.” And I only thought shit like that happened in America. Hopefully the people of the U.K. shun the people on the show instead of embracing them and helping them make millions for being degenerates.

Because the world needs a few more of these walking jokes…

Now maybe I’m being a tad bit harsh, they could turn out to be some real fully functional human beings. But judging on the quotes from the promo we just watched and MTV’s desire to pick the most shallow alcoholics to star on these shows, I sort of doubt it.

I suppose on the bright side the three girls on the show look nothing like Snooki, and who am I – as a man, to complain about double F sized breasts? On May 24th we will definitely find out if the U.K. drunkards can keep up with their American counterparts.

Grizzly Fun Fact: Geordie is a nickname of sorts, for people who hail from Tyneside on the Northeast region of England.

Invasion of the Jersey Shore Spinoffs

Jersey Shore is the national car wreck of human life and debauchery that people just can’t get enough of. These morons on the show make more money than those who actually do great things in life, but good for them if there are people willing to watch. I don’t judge anyone for watching Jersey Shore, mostly because the majority watch it to see them make total asses of themselves.

These people re-define classy

Snooki: College Speaker and “Role Model”

It never fails. Seems like every year we get to see a new group of people make complete asses of themselves, act like total scumbags, and then cash in on it. It seems to be a running message of –“Hey! Be a complete douche and you’ll become famous for it!” and its latest advocate is none other than Jersey Shore‘s Nicole Polizzi. This classless hoggette has been making the rounds for almost a couple of years now, showing you that a trashy idiot can get paid for being just that.

“We can only hope that all of your youth follow the Snookster’s shining example.”