Tag Archives: Jill Valentine

Resident Evil: Retribution 3D Review

After reading all of those Resident Evil: Retribution 3D articles I have written over the last few months, you should have a good idea of my stance on the movie. I was never a big fan of the franchise, but I would watch it for the lack of a better alternative when it comes to entertainment.

Yep, that’s what I did. Initially, I was pondering about the possibility of watching the movie in 2D. I elected against that option and opted for the 3D version instead. I felt it’s only right for me to review this movie the way it was intended to be watched despite of my general disdain towards the overused gimmick.  Rest assured, I did not review the movie in filtered lenses. (You can call it a pun if you’re stretching those lenses all the way to include the Real D ™ glasses.) Just because a movie is in 3D does not mean it’s poorly made. But in the end of the day, I did shell out an extra $4.50 for you gals and guys. (Yes, I did say “gal” first. I’m defying against the patriarchal system. Sue me.)

It wasn’t as long of a stretch as I thought as the glasses are sort of tinted. Call it an intended pun. It’s still a bad one but whatever.

Anyways, here’s a brief summary of Retribution. Basically, Alice (Milla Jovovich), our protagonist, is captured by Umbrella. Now, the once pharmaceutical-company-turned-evil-corporation-which-exists-solely-to-perform-eeeeviiiiilllllllllll-deeds has the technology to clone people and run simulations of the zombie virus spread in a huge ass facility. Yea, it’s revealed pretty early on in the movie so it’s not really a spoiler. In a nutshell, the movie is about Alice getting out of the facility with some help from her pals, new and returning ones alike.

Plot-wise, the movie makes sense because the series no longer makes any sense. By that, I mean if you adopt the RE movies’ insane, illogical thinking, everything makes sense. Two wrongs do make a right. That does not mean the story is by any means good though – not even in a “so bad it’s good” manner. There are major inconsistencies here and there, and some things magically happen without explanation. There is one huge plot twist early on in the movie, but it is presented in a manner that doesn’t feel like a surprise. To be honest here, I have forgotten a good chunk of the movie, partially because of the countless action sequences, and the hotness of Milla Jovovich, Bing Bing Li and Sienna Guillory. Michelle Rodriguez is not bad herself.

[Insert your own sarcastic comment here. I don’t have any.]

When it comes to the characters, they all exist to make Alice look bad ass. None of them, literally, is likable. Ever felt Alice was one-dimensional? That’s not going to change. The story writers tried introducing elements that make her seem multi-layered, but they just failed to work out. It might be Jovovich’s acting; it might be the writing. Either case, I did not walk out of the cinema liking her more. New characters were insanely overhyped. Leon S. Kennedy (Johann Urb) and Barry Burton (Kevin Durand) are extremely far off their game counterparts character-wise. As for Ada Wong (Bingbing Li), she is a slightly more faithful re-imagining of the femme fatale, though not by any means a good one. Neither of their origins was elaborated upon, nor was there any form of character development.  They are, in short, replaceable.

Boy was he terrible. Anderson actually made Leon hateable. I know “hateable” is not a legit word. Once again, sue my broke ass. I have noting to lose.

Returning characters generally feel unnecessary. Other than Jill Valentine (Sienna Guillory), they all exist to make Paul W.S. Anderson’s wet dream come true. Some of these returning characters were dead, but managed to spring back to life because of Umbrella’s cloning tech. Rain Ocampo (Michelle Rodriguez) and Carlos Olivera (Oded Fehr) showed up multiple times throughout the movie. Multiple clones of them exist and each duplicate contains a different personality. Yea, any traces of whom they were are nowhere to be found. The movie simply does not need them. Their return doesn’t add anything to the story or characters for that matter, and it doesn’t really make any statements.  As for Jill Valentine, she is an antagonist in the movie, under direct control of Umbrella. I have already gone on and on about that ridiculous mind-control device strapped to her chest so I won’t talk about it again here. Anyways, she is one of the more “established” (and I’m using the word lightly) characters here, so at the very least, she adds something to the movie. She makes you sort of care. Well, not really. It was more of a “relatively speaking” statement there.

They don’t have personalities in the first place. Just replace them with generic evil soldier clones.

The visual aspect of Retribution is done well, and I am talking about both the 3D portion of the movie and the female cast. There are scenes which show off the gimmick for the sake of doing so (eg. Firing at the audience), but most of them feel right. Fight scenes are still corny, but you should have known what you’re signing up for at this point. There is a car chase, which is average. Gun fights could be better if the good guys brought the right weapons. Most importantly, as mentioned, the women in the movie are insanely hot. There is one scene which features Milla Jovovich covered by two pieces of cloth, with one on the front and another on the back, leaving the audience with quite a view. Does the costume make sense under those circumstances? No. Is more Milla Jovovich hotness awesome sauce? Yes.  Am I complaining? Hell no. Bingbing Li looks good in that Chinese dress as well. Those heels are ridiculous, and I am nitpicking somewhat here, but she’s hot so whatever. (All that talk about defying against the patriarchal system? Wow, I’m a big time hypocrite. Perhaps we should start sexualizing the hell out of men as well.)

Hot damn.

With that said, Paul W.S. Anderson has yet to answer to my biggest complaint for the franchise. The movies have always felt too serious for me to like them. This is no different. It’s trying too hard to be art. It’s trying to be Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy when the original material doesn’t have enough substance for him to pull it off. The movie ends up feeling like a giant Milla Jovovich billboard. Not that there’s anything bad about focusing entirely on one character, it’s just that the movie has too large of a cast for an intimate experience to be possible.

Better luck next time.

Bottom line: If you have watched Resident Evil: Afterlife and actually liked it, Retribution is a souped up, more awesome version of that movie. If you are looking for a decent action flick which includes hot women kicking asses and requires no critical thinking whatsoever, this is also a movie for you. If you are looking for a decent story, avoid at all costs.

Requiem for a Tuesday, literally, has a better storyline than Resident Evil: Retribution. (See what I did there?)

6.3/10
4 of those points went to the ladies in the movie. The rest for 3D being done well enough. [Ed. Note – somehow this equals 3/5 Grizzly’s]

Resident Evil: Retribution – Trailer #2

As I mentioned last time, I don’t give a damn about the Resident Evil movies. Why am I writing this article then? I have no idea. Maybe because I actually make good on my promises?

To be honest with you, I feel the movie franchise has already ran its course. It has strayed too far from anything remotely resembling the video game storyline. In attempt on reminding us, the viewers, of how the movies are supposed to be based on the game, in every single Resident Evil film, we get multiple characters originated from the games forcefully crammed into the movie’s universe. This time round, the new additions are Leon S. Kennedy (of RE2, RE4 and RE6 fame), Barry Burton (the Jill Sandwich guy) and Ada Wong (femme fatale who follows Leon around, also has a thing for wearing high heels in tactical situations). Unfortunately, we don’t get to see much (if any) of them in the trailer, other than maybe a couple of scenes featuring Ada Wong.

In case you have forgotten who Barry Burton is.

Here’s the trailer.

After watching the trailer, I must say I’m fascinated.

*awkward silence*

*bursts into laughter*

You bought that? You believed for a second I actually care about the movie after watching the trailer? SYKE!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! The movie doesn’t look distinctly different from the last one. We’re still living in apocalypse, with Wesker still planning to destroy the world, or something. Can’t remember. The trailer starts off depicting Alice’s previous life, in which she’s a part of a happy family living the suburbs. Her husband is horny and her daughter capable of making quirky remarks at the age of 8. Sounds like the American Dream to me. Then zombies show up and eat her husband’s face off. Alice and her daughter escapes. The 5-0 shows up, though I’m doubtful they’ll be able to do anything. Then the camera cuts to Alice lying on the Umbrella logo, with Ada Wong narrating how her memory was fabricated by Umbrella. A bunch of mindless action scenes set across the world later, the trailer ends.

It is noteworthy (if you actually care about the live-action motion picture) that Paul WS Anderson has decided to bring back Rain Ocampo and Carlos Olivera, both of whom were supposed to be dead. They return in the form of  clones. There will be a “good” version and a “bad” version of each replica. Yea, because it makes so much sense to keep good, thoughtful clones around if I’m in charge of a pharmaceutical company trying to take over the world. We also get to catch a few glimpses of Jill Valentine with aRE5-inspired mind-control device hooked to her chest area, making an already ridiculous idea look even more stupid.

I didn’t get it in RE5 and I still don’t get it now: how do you control someone’s mind by sticking a red thingy to her chest?

The movie is shaping out to be just fine. It’s still predictable. There are still characters from the game thrown in simply for the sake of it. The movie will certainly be bad. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not that promiscuous hippy with interesting fashionable sense who watches only artsy fartsy crap and criticizes any movie that doesn’t have deep undertones. I like action movies which don’t require much thinking. I just prefer my stupid movie to make some sense. This movie will be so corny, the US government will stop subsidizing corn farmers, since the movie alone is enough to supply the world’s corn demand for the next 25 years. Yes, it will be even more cringe-worthy than the joke in the last sentence.

It’s going to be so bad, it’s good.

Resident Evil 5: The Jill Valentine Verdict

With the fifth Resident Evil movie, Retribution finally coming together there was one loose end left before the film seemed complete. That loose end was actress Sienna Guillory reprising her role as ‘Jill Valentine’. It was at first assumed that she would be back, but then things were not so certain as she was keeping us all in suspense with Twitter updates.

The last update however, was that she was going to a meeting with director Paul W.S. Anderson and then this tweet followed soon after:

So it would appear everything is set for another Resident Evil and hopefully this is the last one set in this particular continuity. To me the franchise has gone as far as it could have with the Alice character, and the storyline in the post apocalyptic universe. At this point there will have been more movies set in the post apocalyptic world of Resident Evil than in the settings that made the games so great. I wouldn’t mind them rebooting the franchise eventually and starting from square one again.

What’s everyone else think? Are you as overjoyed as I am about Sienna Guillory returning? Do you think this is the last hurrah for the Paul W.S. Anderson Resident Evil franchise, or will the box office numbers speak for themselves?


Images: Screen Gems

Resident Evil 5: ‘Retribution’ Casting Details (Updated)

If anyone is still interested in the Resident Evil movie franchise, then you’ll already know that there will be a fifth installment that will release on September 14th of 2012. Now it is indeed confirmed that not only will Milla Jovovich rejoin the cast (of course), but also Ali Larter (via Ali Larter Daily) and Sienna Guillory will indeed reprise their roles as ‘Claire Redfield’ and ‘Jill Valentine’ once again. That should be pretty interesting based on how the last movie Afterlife ended.

*Technically, Larter is still rumored, but Guillory and Jovovich are confirmed.

 Also returning will be Jovovich’s husband and Director/Writer for Retribution, Paul W.S. Anderson. Now a lot of people think Paul W.S. Anderson is a terrible director and/or writer [Dr. Kronner – like me, I’m one of those people] and I can’t defend him by saying he’s great. But the guy definitely has a knack for making entertaining movies though. (Some might call that being mediocre) I enjoyed Death Race, Event Horizon, and the first Mortal Kombat movie when I was 11. Hell, I’ll even give him some credit for Soldier which was one of those ‘so bad it’s good’ films. Either way he can definitely keep delivering on Resident Evil movies which I honestly think have become stale by now. I couldn’t tell the difference between Afterlife and Extinction to tell you the truth and Retribution isn’t enough to get me to the theater. I’ll check it out on DVD but that’s about it.

Is there anything more awesome than a beautiful woman shooting a gun? Nope.

Also, there is no word on Wentworth Miller coming back as Chris Redfield respectively. It seems like there’s still time, but I don’t think the story will suffer much from his absence if he doesn’t return. And shut up, I know you’re laughing because I said “story” regarding a Resident Evil movie.

Picture from Pumpkinlub

The Return of Resident Evil 4 & Code Veronica

I really feel like playing Resident Evil 4 sometimes, but I don’t because hooking up my relic of a Gamecube is too much of a hassle, and I don’t own a Nintendo Wii. And if I want to play Code Veronica, forget about it, the last copy I have of that is on the Sega Dreamcast, and there is no way that sucker is going to work. But now, people like me can now breathe a sigh of relief…then inhale and let out a ‘Howard Dean-esque’ Yell of Joy!

According to IGN, both of these chapters in the Resident Evil zombie fest are returning to us via X-Box Live and the Playstation Network this fall.

And not only are they being re-released to us, but they will be getting an HD and visual overhaul. So yes… double awesome.

I can hardly wait for these games to be available again, though I will have to wait (in great anticipation) to see if they release a revamped Resident Evil 1 or Resident Evil: Zero to us in the near future.

But that’s not all, fans of Resident Evil have plenty in development to look forward to. Along with the revamped games coming up for download, Resident Evil: Damnation is to be released next year, which is a sequel to the computer animated Resident Evil: Degeneration.

Also Milla Jovovich and Sienna Guillory will return in 2012 as Alice and Jill Valentine respectively for the fifth Resident Evil movie.

The next big question then becomes: Where is the Resident Evil 6 game?