Boardwalk Empire: 3.04 – “Blue Bell Boy”

Let’s get up to speed- last week we found Nucky alone a lot, frying bacon and dreaming of cherubic young men shot in the face. VanAlden is still a crappy salesman who gets picked on by his coworkers and then finds himself in the middle of a bar during a raid. Gillian Darmody still annoys me. Meyer Lansky and Lucky Luciano sent Benny Seigel out on his first drug run, which doesn’t end all that well with Masseria’s men. Somehow Mickey is still alive and Margaret brought down the war hammer on the annoying chauvinistic doctor by cornering him into opening a women’s clinic.

Now on to “Blue Bell Boy”.

I’m going to express my excitement now but save the rest for later… CHICAGO!!!! Whew, had to get that out- so exciting.

For now, let’s discuss Nucky’s warehouse. Somehow Mickey is still alive and Eli is moping around like a dog waiting for someone to pet him. Nucky comes in all bad ass trying to be the boss, even though he’s been hanging around Billie Kent’s apartment for lord only knows how long, and unsurprisingly, it doesn’t go well. Mickey turns to Owen for direction and I’m going to call it now- Owen is going to die.

Oh Owen, such a pretty face. I’m going to miss you when you are gone.

We all know that Nucky doesn’t take too kindly to not being treated like the top dog and if Mickey keeps going to Owen then I fear they are both on their way out. I take that back, Mickey will somehow find a way to stay alive. I don’t know how, but he will.

As if we needed more evidence of Nucky’s new found “don’t f–k with me or I will shoot you in the head” chutzpah, we are presented with Roland Smith, played by Nick Robinson of Melissa and Joey, a sitcom on ABC Family.

Roland is kid with a bright felonious future. He’s quick witted and when asked his name he rattled off:
–Lon Cheney, the “Man of a Thousand Faces” who dominated the horror genre in the silent film era. I don’t know if it was intentional but I found it interesting they chose to mention Lon Cheney, the child of two deaf and mute parents, in the same episode where Al Capone has a lot of storyline pertaining to his own deaf child.
–Norma Talmadge another star of silent films
–Baby Peggy, one of the original “child stars” who lives hit the crapper once the fame and glory go away. Or in Baby Peggy’s case, when your parents spend all the money you earned as a toddler and you then spend the rest of your life in poverty bouncing from one breakdown to another.

Nucky, Owen, and Roland spend a beautiful night together hiding out in a cellar as Roland’s house was seized by feds sent by none other than Waxey Gordon. I did have to wonder how many times in this episode Owen was going to mention something about keeping Nucky’s hands clean. Owen, have you been watching the show lately? Surely you had to see this coming. I mean come on, the kid lied about how old he was and about smoking and is a cheeky lad that might remind a certain someone about a certain someone else and hello…

Kid is dead. It’s a shame though, I sort of liked Roland. I loved the exchange between Owen and Nucky over Roland’s bleeding body. Nucky told him in not so many words, that he needed to watch his back.

Little word definition moment: When Nucky tells Owen to tell him something with out the “soft soap” he wasn’t referring to the hand soap. Actually the phrase “soft soap” can refer to saying something with flattery. The more you know… rainbow.

After last week’s masterful moves, Margaret had a boring but meaningful episode. She and the good doctor are working on their “Your Body and You” women’s health class and ran into a bit of trouble with a nun.

This nun had some issues with Margaret and the Doctor’s (I really need to go look up his name) neologism. Because we all know that words like menstruation, pregnant, and vagina are just made up and frivolous. I mean come on, gravid is a much more appropriate way to describe such a delicate situation. And for the love of all that is holy, don’t you dare display Kotex on the store shelves. Oh the depravity!

Even though I really did not like the whole aviatrix part of the storyline back in the season premiere, I did appreciate how they tied it back in with this episode. Margaret has these great plans for her Women’s Clinic and is out there on the boardwalk trying her damnedest and is just getting shut down wherever she turns. Then we find out towards the end of the episode that Carrie Duncan, the aviatrix Margaret looked to as a symbol of freedom, has indeed crashed her plane and died. I thought it was extremely well done, story telling wise.

In one of the “extras” on HBO Go during this episode, Vincent Piazza likened the relationship between Lansky, Luciano, and Seigel as exasperated parents and their troublesome child. I could not agree with him more. I can not express how much I loved the scene between the three of them. You can just see how badly Lucky wants to be done with Benny, but of course Meyer is going to stick up for him. Perhaps Lucky should have partaken in some of that Sal Hapatica that Meyer had Benny mixing up for Masseria’s men.

Even though Gyp wasn’t seen that much during this episode, I think his actions bring to a head the major conflict of the storyline this season. His ambush of Nucky’s trucks is going to really put the pressure on Mickey (seriously, HOW has he survived this long?) for his awful decision making as well as maybe bringing Eli and Nucky together again. Not to mention, Rothstein. He’s a ticking time bomb up there in New York. It’s only a matter of time before there’s a hair out of place on his head. His cool as a cucumber, smiling while threatening demeanor makes me nervous.

Chicago provided the most gut wrenching emotion of the episode, and perhaps even the season so far. Capone’s son has been bullied at school so he decides that he is going to teach him to fight. Of course the kid can’t understand this (seriously Capone, learn some sign language) and he just ends up crying. Al Capone can’t go around beating up small children for hitting his son, but you better believe that someone then makes fun of and beats up Guzik. It was sort of an anti-bullying PSA there for a minute when Gucik was standing there beaten to a pulp and what really bothered him was they made fun of the way he smelled.

But don’t worry, Capone takes care of it, in his own way of course.

Apparently the writers wanted everyone with a semblance of a heart to tear up and then hug a puppy, because they sent Capone home after he beat a man to death. Sent him home with a mandolin to sing a song to his son he earlier made cry. His son that can only tell he’s singing by putting his hand on his father’s throat.

That right there was a three kleenex moment.

Overall, fantastic episode. I don’t know that it ranks higher than last week’s because as great as the Chicago and New York story lines are, they are getting to the point they seem extraneous. I’m guessing that Rothstein is going to play more into the main storyline now that his liquor is gone but they really need to start making Capone and Lucky/Meyer blend in a bit more. Or just cut bait and give them each their own show. I’d watch it. All day long.

This week- four out of five. We have Mr. Capone to thank for that.

Next week’s promos included Chalky White and I can not wait!

To tide us over to the next episode… Birdwalk Empire

Boardwalk Empire: 3.03 – “Bone for Tuna”

Where were we? Last week was all slow-moving build up. Nucky is hiding in New York with Billie Kent,  just wanting everything to run on its own. Margaret is stomping around the hospital and, unfortunately, not smacking the crap out of lippy servants. Eli’s out of jail, Gyp is hanging out in Tabor Heights waiting around for Methodist bible camp, and sticking it to Nucky in the meantime. Chalky tried to convince Maybelle that his life is not that interesting and she should just marry the boring doctor. Oh and Mickey is amazingly still alive. After that slow as molasses episode, I had high hopes for this week. I was not disappointed.

Apparently if you kill the man you spent decades treating as your son, it turns out that it can f–k with your head. Here we finally see Nucky start to come unhinged over killing Jimmy. He’s dreaming of kids shot in the face, and then seeing the same kid as a choir boy. Of course this is also tied to his own childhood and it involves a lot of bacon. There was a lot of “alone Nucky” in this episode and it was just sad. If ever there was a man who needed to just get his shit together, get back together with his wife, spend time with his kids, and have a large bottle of zoloft nearby, it is Nucky Thompson. Dude.

VanAlden returned this episode and so help me god if the writers try to make me feel anything for him like they did Eli last week, I’m gonna be pissed. I don’t want to feel sorry for him. I don’t want to sympathize with him. I don’t want to see him all lovey dovey with his new wife. Are you hearing me writers? I DO NOT WANT TO LIKE HIM!

 Alas, I sort of did. I really do feel badly for him when he’s getting picked on by his coworkers. But then I just remember him “baptizing” Sebso and my distaste for him returns. Ahhh, all is right with the world. Seriously though, the fountain pen and then the constant picking at him, it makes me want to never want to buy an iron from these jackasses. Sigrid however? I daresay I never saw a scene like that in Door to Door (if you haven’t seen this movie, you should), so I was completely unaware that door to door sales can be such a turn on. Lesson learned.

If I were to take my dislike for VanAlden and add the heated hatred of a thousand forest fires burning at once, that would come close to my feelings for Gillian Darmody. She’s got her claws in everyone. It’s possible I missed it earlier, but did we know that Lucky Luciano was an investor in the whorehouse? That was news to me. Unwelcome news of course, and while we’re discussing those two- I really wish little bubbles would pop up telling us who all knows Jimmy is dead and who really believes he went back to the Army. It would be like a flow chart in the style of Pop Up Video, very helpful. I mean Gillian has to know right? She and Nucky aren’t talking, clearly illustrated by the looks exchanged when Nucky drops Gyp off at the house of ill repute. So is she just pretending he’s still alive so people like Lucky take her more seriously? Is she just trying to convince herself he is still alive because she’s an out of touch creepy hobag? It’s a mystery. [Editor’s Note – She knows he is dead, but must play along because he gives her clout. My though anyhow…]

Another mystery? Gyp Rosetti. Good lord this guy is off his rocker. And at the same time, he’s a good businessman. When he was talking to Gillian he seemed quite normal and sane. He was even capable of laughing at himself when he starts to take offense to Nucky saying something about being in “your neck of the woods”. BUT THEN HE DOES THIS!!!

Oh my god. Seriously. That was all I could say. You would think that watching a show where people’s heads are blown off on the regular, something violent wouldn’t be all that surprising. You’d be wrong. Gyp dropped that lighter and all I could see was this.

If we learned nothing else this episode, do not wish Gyp Rosetti good luck. Or buona fortuna. Or “bone for tuna”- you know that kid’s Irish so the spelling is off. Seriously, Nucky nailed it on the head with his “you’d find offense in a bouquet of roses”. What the hell is wrong with the guy? And why do I enjoy his psychosis so much?

[Little tidbit- the movie Gyp’s driver was talking about (when you could see Gyp come undone over Nucky wishing him bone for tuna) was Nosferatu. I am not a horror/scary/monster movie fan by any means so I had no idea, but thankfully the internet came to my rescue on that one. Stay tuned the GrizzlyBomb because coming up this month we are highlighting our favorite Halloween characters and I’m pretty sure Nosferatu made the list.]

Speaking of people I enjoy- Lucky Luciano and Meyer Lansky made an appearance!

They are still doing their heroine thing and Lucky is not happy with their dealings with Masseria. Of course the adorable Meyer Lansky was the voice of reason telling him that they just needed to bid their time with him. In perfect gangster fashion though, he goes from ‘let’s be calm, cool, and collected’ to shooting at Masseria’s men in the street with none other than heroin delivery boy extraordinaire/Benny ‘Bugsy’ Seigel. Shit is getting real there in New York.

The honor of “second best part of episode” belongs to Richard Harrow and Mickey Doyle. Especially this particular moment:

Mickey takes credit for Manny’s death to make himself look like a bad ass and gets ratted out by a delivery boy during a drop to the whorehouse where Richard is tending bar. Richard gets Mickey at gunpoint and then trots his happy ass over to Nucky telling him to deal with Mickey- it was perfect. Everything about it. Especially when Richard greets Mickey with a gun right as he drops trou. I mean seriously, perfection. However, it does make us ask once again, how the hell is Mickey Doyle still sucking air? HOW? He’s a lucky bastard.

And when Richard tells Nucky that he killed Manny for Angela Darmody?

It was too much. I think I died a little with that one. I’m really glad that he came out and said it was just for Angela though. I mean I always assumed, but it’s nice to hear. The part about Jimmy being a soldier, fighting and losing, was also very well written. Nucky you are safe once again- from Richard at least.

You know who you aren’t safe from? This woman:

Last week I was a little meh with Margaret, but this week is a totally different story. Margaret wins the “best storyline of the episode by far, so much so that no one else even had a chance”. And to think, I was sort of annoyed with the prenatal care hill that she was so intent to die on. I thought it was going to be slow and boring.

I. Was. Wrong.

Before that though, Margaret needs to be recognized for coming up with the best alternative for “f–k you and the horse you rode in on” I have ever witnessed. Nucky tells her that he can’t sleep, after being gone for god only knows how long, and she just gives a slight shrug, saying “some warm milk perhaps”. In other words Nucky, she isn’t listening to your shit anymore. Perhaps if you hadn’t been a complete ass who got pissed over money (okay, it was a lot of money) and then ran off to New York with that Broadway chippy you would still have a wife who gave two shits about you and your obvious mental issues. Instead you have a wife who will stand at the back of a church, remind you of your wedding day, give a slight nod to the aforementioned showgirl with her statement about “the show must go on” and pretty much say your marriage is in shambles but you must still put on appearances so walk your ass down this aisle and be happy about it.

I’m sure if Nucky weren’t so caught up in his hallucinations over the “shot in the face” choir boy, he would have been as equally as impressed by Margaret’s next move as I was. There they were, enjoying the nice reception for Nucky’s St. Gregory Award. Margaret is called over for her previously requested moment with the bishop and she takes the opportunity to introduce him to the doctor who had earlier commented that landscaping was more important than prenatal care.

All of a sudden- BOOM- Margaret thanks the doctor for opening a women’s clinic and isn’t that just the greatest thing bishop? Isn’t he amazing? Isn’t this going to be the best thing ever, your excellency? Margaret Thompson, you are f–king awesome. From shy and timid pregnant housewife to cornering an asshole doctor into doing the one thing he would never do- impressive.

Even though there wasn’t any Chicago (outside of VanAlden) or Chalky, and Nucky was a bit annoying with the constantly calling Billie Kent and then going back up there in a very stalkerish manner, this was by far my favorite episode out of the three so far. Gyp was entertaining and disturbing, Gillian was creepy but still moved the story along, and Richard and Margaret were amazing.

I’m going to have to go ahead and give it a five out of five.

I just hope that don’t make me regret renewing my love for Margaret’s storyline. I will be quite disappointed. I’ll be back next week and we’ll see!

Boardwalk Empire: 3.02 – “Spaghetti and Coffee”

This should be universally understood, but it needs to be said again: This is a review of this week’s (Season 3 Episode 2) episode of Boardwalk Empire. If you have not seen this episode and wish to not learn of what happens in this episode, do not read this.

To recap from last week: Nucky and Margaret are on the outs thanks to Margaret signing over the land deeds. Because Nucky can no longer just sit back and enjoy the riches he didn’t make off the highway project, he now has taken on the role of full-blown gangster. Richard Harrow killed Munya. We’ve got a new gangster in town, the Sicilian, Gyp Rosetti. Please don’t insult his intelligence, or lack thereof, because he will beat you. Chicago has troubles, we only see a snippet of them. Lady has a miscarriage in the lobby of the hospital that Margaret is now on the board of due to her generous donation that led to the building of a pediatric wing. Oh and Nucky is shacking up with the showgirl, Billie Kent.

Let’s move on!

I sometimes wonder what a psychiatrist would say if they were to analyze the fact that I can watch television people be shot all day long but sweet jesus don’t you dare let that goldfish die in the sink! That analysis will have to wait for another time because luckily, the goldfish was spared. It is yet to be seen if the same can be said for the rest of the Boardwalk Empire world.

Eli is out of jail! Yay! Mickey picks him up and then Eli asks the question that every single person that has ever watched the show has wondered – “How the hell are you still alive?” Mickey says something about bringing people together, I thinks it’s more that he is just a lucky bastard.  I sort of hate this episode because it made  me want to like Eli, or at the very least, feel sorry for him. He gets out of jail, obviously nothing has stayed the same, and he doesn’t know where he fits in anymore. He goes home to find that even his own son has taken his place as man of the house. I really don’t want to like Eli but damn, if that scene with him building the plane he bought for his son didn’t pull at the ol’ heartstrings.

The writers and Bobby Cannavale have done a wonderful job and creating tension every time Gyp Rosetti is on the screen. After his incredible overreaction to the 3-in-One guy, I fully expected him to beat the ever-loving crap out of the pump jockey. To the point that every time Gyp came on-screen, I was looking for a dead young man in a gas station uniform on the ground somewhere, all over a map scale. It appears as if in the span of one episode he seems to have grown up a bit. Instead of  hauling off and killing the kid, he instead buys the gas station. Oh and he pays off the cops. All so he can stick it to Nucky and Rothstein. Look out Nucky, the hot head is playing for keeps.

Owen is just a go-between for Margaret and Nucky now…Awkward. What I really want to see in a coming episode however, is someone haul off and just smack the shit out of Phillip. Dude has a smart mouth and I would have sworn that the “help” should be seen and not heard in this time period. STFU Phillip.

I loved the scene between Margaret and the lady who had the miscarriage there in the hospital lobby. You can just see that Margaret is trying to relate to this woman, they both have similar stories, but too much time and experiences have passed in Margaret’s life that the woman just isn’t buying it.

I’m continuing my love/hate relationship with Margaret though. I love when she gets all “who are you to talk to me like that?” but she doesn’t do it enough. She goes off on Dr. Mason but only after he provokes her. Had she gone in there, guns blazing, right off the bat, he’d never even had a chance to be an ass. Come on Margaret, sprout a set and don’t take no shit from nobody! I did have to laugh though when at the end of the episode after the maid tells her that Nucky won’t be coming home for some award thing with the diocese, she tells her to go ahead and get the suit ready anyway because “I’m afraid he’s mistaken.”  Granted we aren’t all married to gangsters, but that statement has been muttered by wives the world over since the beginning of time.

Nucky is up in New York, doing nothing but Billie Kent, who he thinks looks like the White Rock Girl. He does take a break from those activities to go and pay Daugherty. He arrives to find an empty room with just a bowl (the goldfish bowl from the first scene) and a note telling him to leave money. Of course he isn’t going to fall for this! So we get to meet none other than Gaston Bullock Means.

Mr. Means is played by the always enjoyable, Stephen Root and is another historical figure. Dude was quite the dirtbag, but he is so well spoken in the show and I’m always a fan of someone who superfluously uses adverbs. However, I am not a fan of people who talk about themselves in the third person so when Remus showed up, I was incredibly happy that he didn’t speak.

The scenes with Chalky and his family are always a hit. Well with me at least. This episode was no different. Maybelle’s beau (why did we stop using that word I wonder?) is back and asking Chalky for her hand in marriage. Problem is, Maybelle doesn’t think he is interesting enough to marry. Perhaps my favorite line of the entire episode is when Chalky asked her what she would do if she was married to a man like him, she says “I’ll write a poem about it.” Oh you foolish little girl.

I wonder what her poem would look like after this:

Apparently asking someone to stop running into your table is a knifeable offense. Of course the dude got that crap beat out of him and Chalky standing there asking if Maybelle was still interested was the highlight of the episode.

The greatest irony of the episode came towards the end when Nucky was baring his soul (well sort of) to Billie. He tells her that he wants nothing more than for “everything to run all by itself”. In reality, because he’s been lounging around getting jealous each time Billie’s phone rings, his people have been done over quite well by Gyp and the now wealthier Tabor Heights sheriff. So much so that they’ve tucked their tails between their legs and turned the convoy back around to Atlantic City.

All in all, this was a very laborious episode. I understand the need for building up storylines but man this was just full of it. I did like the Chalky storyline and the various historical nods, especially the one about Methodists in Tabor Heights. I’d imagine this had to do with Mount Tabor that was a Methodist camp there in New Jersey. Also lacking in this episode? Chicago! We did catch a glimpse of Rothstein as he and Nucky discussed who killed Munya but that was it.

So yea, it’s was a disappointing episode but hopefully the slowness of this will quickly build into some better episodes down the road. Not to do with just this episode, but if you have access to HBO GO and are an “extras” junkie like I am, I highly recommend watching the show on there. They’ve got a new “interactive features” that is quite informative and entertaining.

I have to give this episode, only a 3, because of the slowness.

I will leave you with this- in case you were wondering, meatballs are indeed, balls of meat.