Boardwalk Empire: 3.03 – “Bone for Tuna”

Where were we? Last week was all slow-moving build up. Nucky is hiding in New York with Billie Kent,  just wanting everything to run on its own. Margaret is stomping around the hospital and, unfortunately, not smacking the crap out of lippy servants. Eli’s out of jail, Gyp is hanging out in Tabor Heights waiting around for Methodist bible camp, and sticking it to Nucky in the meantime. Chalky tried to convince Maybelle that his life is not that interesting and she should just marry the boring doctor. Oh and Mickey is amazingly still alive. After that slow as molasses episode, I had high hopes for this week. I was not disappointed.

Apparently if you kill the man you spent decades treating as your son, it turns out that it can f–k with your head. Here we finally see Nucky start to come unhinged over killing Jimmy. He’s dreaming of kids shot in the face, and then seeing the same kid as a choir boy. Of course this is also tied to his own childhood and it involves a lot of bacon. There was a lot of “alone Nucky” in this episode and it was just sad. If ever there was a man who needed to just get his shit together, get back together with his wife, spend time with his kids, and have a large bottle of zoloft nearby, it is Nucky Thompson. Dude.

VanAlden returned this episode and so help me god if the writers try to make me feel anything for him like they did Eli last week, I’m gonna be pissed. I don’t want to feel sorry for him. I don’t want to sympathize with him. I don’t want to see him all lovey dovey with his new wife. Are you hearing me writers? I DO NOT WANT TO LIKE HIM!

 Alas, I sort of did. I really do feel badly for him when he’s getting picked on by his coworkers. But then I just remember him “baptizing” Sebso and my distaste for him returns. Ahhh, all is right with the world. Seriously though, the fountain pen and then the constant picking at him, it makes me want to never want to buy an iron from these jackasses. Sigrid however? I daresay I never saw a scene like that in Door to Door (if you haven’t seen this movie, you should), so I was completely unaware that door to door sales can be such a turn on. Lesson learned.

If I were to take my dislike for VanAlden and add the heated hatred of a thousand forest fires burning at once, that would come close to my feelings for Gillian Darmody. She’s got her claws in everyone. It’s possible I missed it earlier, but did we know that Lucky Luciano was an investor in the whorehouse? That was news to me. Unwelcome news of course, and while we’re discussing those two- I really wish little bubbles would pop up telling us who all knows Jimmy is dead and who really believes he went back to the Army. It would be like a flow chart in the style of Pop Up Video, very helpful. I mean Gillian has to know right? She and Nucky aren’t talking, clearly illustrated by the looks exchanged when Nucky drops Gyp off at the house of ill repute. So is she just pretending he’s still alive so people like Lucky take her more seriously? Is she just trying to convince herself he is still alive because she’s an out of touch creepy hobag? It’s a mystery. [Editor’s Note – She knows he is dead, but must play along because he gives her clout. My though anyhow…]

Another mystery? Gyp Rosetti. Good lord this guy is off his rocker. And at the same time, he’s a good businessman. When he was talking to Gillian he seemed quite normal and sane. He was even capable of laughing at himself when he starts to take offense to Nucky saying something about being in “your neck of the woods”. BUT THEN HE DOES THIS!!!

Oh my god. Seriously. That was all I could say. You would think that watching a show where people’s heads are blown off on the regular, something violent wouldn’t be all that surprising. You’d be wrong. Gyp dropped that lighter and all I could see was this.

If we learned nothing else this episode, do not wish Gyp Rosetti good luck. Or buona fortuna. Or “bone for tuna”- you know that kid’s Irish so the spelling is off. Seriously, Nucky nailed it on the head with his “you’d find offense in a bouquet of roses”. What the hell is wrong with the guy? And why do I enjoy his psychosis so much?

[Little tidbit- the movie Gyp’s driver was talking about (when you could see Gyp come undone over Nucky wishing him bone for tuna) was Nosferatu. I am not a horror/scary/monster movie fan by any means so I had no idea, but thankfully the internet came to my rescue on that one. Stay tuned the GrizzlyBomb because coming up this month we are highlighting our favorite Halloween characters and I’m pretty sure Nosferatu made the list.]

Speaking of people I enjoy- Lucky Luciano and Meyer Lansky made an appearance!

They are still doing their heroine thing and Lucky is not happy with their dealings with Masseria. Of course the adorable Meyer Lansky was the voice of reason telling him that they just needed to bid their time with him. In perfect gangster fashion though, he goes from ‘let’s be calm, cool, and collected’ to shooting at Masseria’s men in the street with none other than heroin delivery boy extraordinaire/Benny ‘Bugsy’ Seigel. Shit is getting real there in New York.

The honor of “second best part of episode” belongs to Richard Harrow and Mickey Doyle. Especially this particular moment:

Mickey takes credit for Manny’s death to make himself look like a bad ass and gets ratted out by a delivery boy during a drop to the whorehouse where Richard is tending bar. Richard gets Mickey at gunpoint and then trots his happy ass over to Nucky telling him to deal with Mickey- it was perfect. Everything about it. Especially when Richard greets Mickey with a gun right as he drops trou. I mean seriously, perfection. However, it does make us ask once again, how the hell is Mickey Doyle still sucking air? HOW? He’s a lucky bastard.

And when Richard tells Nucky that he killed Manny for Angela Darmody?

It was too much. I think I died a little with that one. I’m really glad that he came out and said it was just for Angela though. I mean I always assumed, but it’s nice to hear. The part about Jimmy being a soldier, fighting and losing, was also very well written. Nucky you are safe once again- from Richard at least.

You know who you aren’t safe from? This woman:

Last week I was a little meh with Margaret, but this week is a totally different story. Margaret wins the “best storyline of the episode by far, so much so that no one else even had a chance”. And to think, I was sort of annoyed with the prenatal care hill that she was so intent to die on. I thought it was going to be slow and boring.

I. Was. Wrong.

Before that though, Margaret needs to be recognized for coming up with the best alternative for “f–k you and the horse you rode in on” I have ever witnessed. Nucky tells her that he can’t sleep, after being gone for god only knows how long, and she just gives a slight shrug, saying “some warm milk perhaps”. In other words Nucky, she isn’t listening to your shit anymore. Perhaps if you hadn’t been a complete ass who got pissed over money (okay, it was a lot of money) and then ran off to New York with that Broadway chippy you would still have a wife who gave two shits about you and your obvious mental issues. Instead you have a wife who will stand at the back of a church, remind you of your wedding day, give a slight nod to the aforementioned showgirl with her statement about “the show must go on” and pretty much say your marriage is in shambles but you must still put on appearances so walk your ass down this aisle and be happy about it.

I’m sure if Nucky weren’t so caught up in his hallucinations over the “shot in the face” choir boy, he would have been as equally as impressed by Margaret’s next move as I was. There they were, enjoying the nice reception for Nucky’s St. Gregory Award. Margaret is called over for her previously requested moment with the bishop and she takes the opportunity to introduce him to the doctor who had earlier commented that landscaping was more important than prenatal care.

All of a sudden- BOOM- Margaret thanks the doctor for opening a women’s clinic and isn’t that just the greatest thing bishop? Isn’t he amazing? Isn’t this going to be the best thing ever, your excellency? Margaret Thompson, you are f–king awesome. From shy and timid pregnant housewife to cornering an asshole doctor into doing the one thing he would never do- impressive.

Even though there wasn’t any Chicago (outside of VanAlden) or Chalky, and Nucky was a bit annoying with the constantly calling Billie Kent and then going back up there in a very stalkerish manner, this was by far my favorite episode out of the three so far. Gyp was entertaining and disturbing, Gillian was creepy but still moved the story along, and Richard and Margaret were amazing.

I’m going to have to go ahead and give it a five out of five.

I just hope that don’t make me regret renewing my love for Margaret’s storyline. I will be quite disappointed. I’ll be back next week and we’ll see!

Boardwalk Empire: 3.02 – “Spaghetti and Coffee”

This should be universally understood, but it needs to be said again: This is a review of this week’s (Season 3 Episode 2) episode of Boardwalk Empire. If you have not seen this episode and wish to not learn of what happens in this episode, do not read this.

To recap from last week: Nucky and Margaret are on the outs thanks to Margaret signing over the land deeds. Because Nucky can no longer just sit back and enjoy the riches he didn’t make off the highway project, he now has taken on the role of full-blown gangster. Richard Harrow killed Munya. We’ve got a new gangster in town, the Sicilian, Gyp Rosetti. Please don’t insult his intelligence, or lack thereof, because he will beat you. Chicago has troubles, we only see a snippet of them. Lady has a miscarriage in the lobby of the hospital that Margaret is now on the board of due to her generous donation that led to the building of a pediatric wing. Oh and Nucky is shacking up with the showgirl, Billie Kent.

Let’s move on!

I sometimes wonder what a psychiatrist would say if they were to analyze the fact that I can watch television people be shot all day long but sweet jesus don’t you dare let that goldfish die in the sink! That analysis will have to wait for another time because luckily, the goldfish was spared. It is yet to be seen if the same can be said for the rest of the Boardwalk Empire world.

Eli is out of jail! Yay! Mickey picks him up and then Eli asks the question that every single person that has ever watched the show has wondered – “How the hell are you still alive?” Mickey says something about bringing people together, I thinks it’s more that he is just a lucky bastard.  I sort of hate this episode because it made  me want to like Eli, or at the very least, feel sorry for him. He gets out of jail, obviously nothing has stayed the same, and he doesn’t know where he fits in anymore. He goes home to find that even his own son has taken his place as man of the house. I really don’t want to like Eli but damn, if that scene with him building the plane he bought for his son didn’t pull at the ol’ heartstrings.

The writers and Bobby Cannavale have done a wonderful job and creating tension every time Gyp Rosetti is on the screen. After his incredible overreaction to the 3-in-One guy, I fully expected him to beat the ever-loving crap out of the pump jockey. To the point that every time Gyp came on-screen, I was looking for a dead young man in a gas station uniform on the ground somewhere, all over a map scale. It appears as if in the span of one episode he seems to have grown up a bit. Instead of  hauling off and killing the kid, he instead buys the gas station. Oh and he pays off the cops. All so he can stick it to Nucky and Rothstein. Look out Nucky, the hot head is playing for keeps.

Owen is just a go-between for Margaret and Nucky now…Awkward. What I really want to see in a coming episode however, is someone haul off and just smack the shit out of Phillip. Dude has a smart mouth and I would have sworn that the “help” should be seen and not heard in this time period. STFU Phillip.

I loved the scene between Margaret and the lady who had the miscarriage there in the hospital lobby. You can just see that Margaret is trying to relate to this woman, they both have similar stories, but too much time and experiences have passed in Margaret’s life that the woman just isn’t buying it.

I’m continuing my love/hate relationship with Margaret though. I love when she gets all “who are you to talk to me like that?” but she doesn’t do it enough. She goes off on Dr. Mason but only after he provokes her. Had she gone in there, guns blazing, right off the bat, he’d never even had a chance to be an ass. Come on Margaret, sprout a set and don’t take no shit from nobody! I did have to laugh though when at the end of the episode after the maid tells her that Nucky won’t be coming home for some award thing with the diocese, she tells her to go ahead and get the suit ready anyway because “I’m afraid he’s mistaken.”  Granted we aren’t all married to gangsters, but that statement has been muttered by wives the world over since the beginning of time.

Nucky is up in New York, doing nothing but Billie Kent, who he thinks looks like the White Rock Girl. He does take a break from those activities to go and pay Daugherty. He arrives to find an empty room with just a bowl (the goldfish bowl from the first scene) and a note telling him to leave money. Of course he isn’t going to fall for this! So we get to meet none other than Gaston Bullock Means.

Mr. Means is played by the always enjoyable, Stephen Root and is another historical figure. Dude was quite the dirtbag, but he is so well spoken in the show and I’m always a fan of someone who superfluously uses adverbs. However, I am not a fan of people who talk about themselves in the third person so when Remus showed up, I was incredibly happy that he didn’t speak.

The scenes with Chalky and his family are always a hit. Well with me at least. This episode was no different. Maybelle’s beau (why did we stop using that word I wonder?) is back and asking Chalky for her hand in marriage. Problem is, Maybelle doesn’t think he is interesting enough to marry. Perhaps my favorite line of the entire episode is when Chalky asked her what she would do if she was married to a man like him, she says “I’ll write a poem about it.” Oh you foolish little girl.

I wonder what her poem would look like after this:

Apparently asking someone to stop running into your table is a knifeable offense. Of course the dude got that crap beat out of him and Chalky standing there asking if Maybelle was still interested was the highlight of the episode.

The greatest irony of the episode came towards the end when Nucky was baring his soul (well sort of) to Billie. He tells her that he wants nothing more than for “everything to run all by itself”. In reality, because he’s been lounging around getting jealous each time Billie’s phone rings, his people have been done over quite well by Gyp and the now wealthier Tabor Heights sheriff. So much so that they’ve tucked their tails between their legs and turned the convoy back around to Atlantic City.

All in all, this was a very laborious episode. I understand the need for building up storylines but man this was just full of it. I did like the Chalky storyline and the various historical nods, especially the one about Methodists in Tabor Heights. I’d imagine this had to do with Mount Tabor that was a Methodist camp there in New Jersey. Also lacking in this episode? Chicago! We did catch a glimpse of Rothstein as he and Nucky discussed who killed Munya but that was it.

So yea, it’s was a disappointing episode but hopefully the slowness of this will quickly build into some better episodes down the road. Not to do with just this episode, but if you have access to HBO GO and are an “extras” junkie like I am, I highly recommend watching the show on there. They’ve got a new “interactive features” that is quite informative and entertaining.

I have to give this episode, only a 3, because of the slowness.

I will leave you with this- in case you were wondering, meatballs are indeed, balls of meat.

Boardwalk Empire: 3.01 – “Raise the Toddy”

This should be universally understood, but it needs to be said again: #1- This is a review of this week’s (Season 3 Episode 1) episode of Boardwalk Empire. If you have not seen this episode and wish to not learn of what happens in this episode, do not read this.

Should be universally understood, but needs to be said again #2- RICHARD HARROW, LET ME LOVE YOU!!!!! Whew, it feels good to let that out.

Where did we leave off? Well screw the whole “who shot JR” catchphrase because holy shit we know who shot Jimmy Darmody and now we get to see the aftermath. Not only that but we had a “pen is mightier than the sword” moment as we watched Margaret sign over the Land Deed to that annoying priest’s church.

We pick up at the end of 1922 – all our gangster friends are preparing to ring in 1923 in style. Oh and we’ve got a new gangster friend – Gyp Rosetti. He’s a little bit of a hot head and whatever you do, do not step on his toes. Especially if they are covered in 3-in-One.

One of my favorite things about this show is how they work in references to real people and events of the time. Right off the bat, as Gyp’s guys are working on a flat tire he mentions Walt Wallet of Gasoline Alley.

Enough of Gyp, what about Nucky?. How has he dealt with killing Jimmy? Is he as broken up about it as Jimmy said he would be? Did he blow a gasket about the Land Deed? Did he have Margaret offed for it? Where are the kids? I have so many questions!

As he is talking to someone, he seems in pretty good spirits. Eating breakfast, enjoying coffee, mentioning his children (so perhaps things are still good in the Thompson household), and then ordering Munya to shoot a thief in the head after toying with his emotions for a while. Oh Nucky, you seemed to have stepped in the “full gangster” shoes quite well.

As for Margaret, she’s busy putting the final touches on a New Year’s Eve party and telling lippy chauvinist servants named Phillip to shove it. Oh but wait – we find out where the land money went to! The “Enoch and Margaret Thompson Annex”, a pediatric wing to the hospital. Not only that, but she is also on the board of directors. A young doctor points that out when telling her that the woman Margaret witnessed actively miscarry her child in the hospital lobby could have been spared had their been proper prenatal care and education. I think we all know where this is going – welcome to a storyline for Mrs. Thompson.

Speaking of women having sex and getting pregnant (this wins for the award for worst segue ever), Gillian seems to have decided that she’s going to run a brothel.  Not only that, but she’s hired Richard Harrow (who, just as a reminder, I love) as Tommy’s caretaker. Seriously, if there continue to be scenes built around Richard and Gillian, my husband is going to be convinced that I’m bipolar as I was screaming at the TV last night alternating between “I hate you Gillian! I love you Richard! How dare you call yourself his mother Gillian! Richard I just want to hug you!” Just look at this picture and tell me it doesn’t make you want to punch that incestual creep of a woman in the face. And then take moonlit walks on the beach with that fabulous man.

The Van Alden’s have moved to Illinois and Agent Van Alden is now a door to door salesman. Oh wait – we also got caught up on what Johnny Torrio and Al Capone are doing nowadays. I’ll admit that the Chicago storyline has never done much to keep my attention, probably because like in this episode, it always seems like a “Oh yea we’ve got these characters over in Chicago and everyone knows Al Capone so we should probably throw them in this episode as well” kind of situation. Stephen Graham does such an incredible job as Al Capone that I feel badly about not really caring about them. Perhaps this is the season that Chicago will get the airtime it deserves.

That being said, Chicago can be summed up in these few words: turf war, deaf kid, Capone is pissed, Van Alden saves the Irish guy’s bacon and has a new baby with the nanny turned wife.

It’s party time! The Thompson’s have all their friends over for an Egyptian themed NYE bash and outside of Gyp Rosetti, everyone is having a great time. He wants rum and what the hell? Nucky has decided to sell only to Rothstein. Gyp is going to be a great character to watch if for no other reason than he has the best insults. He called Nucky a “breadstick with a bowtie”. I mean come on, that’s poetry right there.

It seems as if everything is right as rain with Nucky and Margaret, even when Margaret inadvertently insults the doctor. Of course he thinks she is barking up the wrong tree about the prenatal care and how dare she even suggest that it was the hospital’s fault and yea, this is her new hill to die on it appears. When the last guest leaves and the door closes, I fully expected a little rebuke perhaps, but a hug and kiss and let’s go to bed dear. Why did I expect this? Because I bought the setup hook, line, and sinker. I was drawn in to this “everything is okay between Nucky and Margaret, look they are having a party and everyone is laughing and singing and Nucky is dancing and Margaret is smiling” facade without even questioning it. That door closed and Nucky’s transformation took my breath away. We learned that things are not okay in the Thompson house. Things are far from okay. Nucky isn’t even living there! He’s back at his suite and surprise, surprise he’s shacking up with another brunette showgirl. Because that worked out so well for him last time.

My disappointment over the Nucky/Margaret situation (in my mind they walk off into the sunset hand in hand and live happily ever after), was quickly lifted as we saw Richard again. Well first we saw Manny and his wife having a nice moment, she bought him a new hat, how sweet. Then the door opens, there’s Richard. BOOM- Head Shot!

Richard FINALLY! takes revenge for Angela’s murder. Watching his face as he told Tommy of his mother (his real mother not that hobag that is trying to convince the poor boy otherwise) was just heartbreaking.

The episode closes out with the obvious “Margaret wants freedom” scene. She decides to go out and see the female pilot, Carrie Duncan pass by and her face is filled with that “I wish I could just fly away by myself” look.

Outside of that storyline, I thought the episode was fabulous. Especially the introduction of Gyp and how well they fooled the audience (me at least) on the whole Nucky and Margaret thing. It did present more questions though- will Van Alden join the dark side so he can buy his nanny/wife a house? Is Richard going to hook back up with a crew or just meander aimlessly taking care of Tommy and resisting the urge to smack Gillian on a regular basis? How is this whole “Nucky only sells to Rothstein” thing going to work out? What new insults is Gyp coming to come up with? How much are Teddy and Emily going to love their new dog? So much to look forward to!

4/5 Bears for this one.