Well John wasn’t exactly the Boogeyman, he was the one you send to kill the fucking Boogeyman.
Last year Keanu Reeves released his best movie in a very long time. It was the story of a retired hitman named John Wick. The movie opened up with the tragic passing of his wife, and his bonding with a puppy. But before you know it, Theon Greyjoy (Alfie Allen) murders said puppy and John goes on an epic killing spree to avenge an innocent dog and the memory of his wife. It was easily among the most entertaining movies of the year, and now Mr. Wick is back.
The Replacers are back and it looks like we’re about to get ourselves from new Call of Duty DLC for Black Ops II! The new DLC is called Uprising and it will arrive for Xbox Live users (sorry PS3 and Wii U peeps) on April 16th which means not only are we being treated to a double XP weekend, but we’re getting a new Replacers ad with the always looking for a job Peter Stormare. Looks like he brought along a new friend, Mr. J.B. Smoove from Curb Your Enthusiasm amongst other things. While not as great as the first one (if anything because that one was brilliant in that we didn’t know what to expect), it’s still a funny ad to check out. Naturally, it’s embedded just below for your enjoyment:
Alright, onward with the DLC news. We are getting four new maps called Magma, Studio, Vertigo and Encore. Magma takes places in an Asian village that is being overrun by an active volcano. This introduces the element of lava bearing down on the people and some short and long-range points of attack. We also get Encore which takes place in an amphitheater that is wide open with the center stage being touted as the best position. Personally, this will probably be a sniper haven because of its wide open space so we’ll have to see how it all goes down. Vertigo follows as it’s a skyscraper level and it instantly reminds me of more dangerous Hotel combined with the Die Rise zombie map from the last DLC for Call of Duty. I like the idea of having to jump from space to space and it’ll probably be hilarious to see one Brian Kronner fall off the map repeatedly. The next map, which is destined to be my favorite one judging from how they are selling it, is called Studio. It takes place at a movie studio back lot where all the sets are up from the various genres of movies. But did catch my eye was it’s reference to Firing Range, that awesome level from Call of Duty: Black Ops. Seems to be a good one to check out for sure.
Of course we have to mention the zombie map Mob of the Dead. This map will actually take place in a prison from the 1950s that resembles (if not, an exact replica) of the famous Alcatraz prison. It will also feature four actors portraying old school gangsters like Michael Madsen, Ray Liotta, Chazz Palminteri and Joe Pantoliano that were planning to escape, but get the unfortunate luck of having to blast a few zombies on the way out of the prison. There will be a storyline involved with building a plane out of parts to help escape the island so could we actually get an ending for once? Time will tell but I’m already excited at the prospect of playing this map. There’s also a new mode called Afterlife that is being introduced to where if your character dies, they can see through walls and interact with objects your living teammates cannot touch. Also you get to fire electricity from your hands to battle zombies as well as powerful some perk machines. So this should get interesting…
All in all, this should be good times and you can check the below video to get more details on the Uprising DLC. Until then, we shall see you on April 16th, 2013 on Xbox Live. I guarantee you’ll see the Grizzly Bomb team online and swearing and throwing controllers complaining that was effin’ BS whenever we get killed.
This could possibly be my favorite Call of Duty video of all time. I’ll get into the rest of the article you view the video but I give props to Peter Stormare, he made this video awesome.
“Now you go pick up my sh*t.”
Obviously it’s not the official trailer of the map but just a fun promotional bit. Luckily there is another trailer for what to expect with the new Revolution DLC, coming out on January 29th first on X-Box Live. It boasts four new multiplayer maps, a new zombies co-op map, a new game mode for zombies, and a new multiplayer weapon called the Peacekeeper that is exclusive to the game mode. There’s more in the video below, which serves as the actual trailer and preview for the new DLC.
Hydro seems like a cool map and having the spillway used to flood and flush out people seems to be a cool element, a la the train in Express. Grind is just going to be a giant chaos map with no real place to hide or hug walls although I can imagine it being a sniper’s haven to like Carrier, which would annoy the living crap out of me. I know Downhill will be a big hit because of people of the white stuff…the snow I mean, not cocaine. Mirage looks cool too because it seems to incorporate wide open space and claustrophobic environments to satisfy everyone involved…unless you’re on the losing end of course.
Die Rise is the new zombie map that takes place in a skyscraper and I’m looking forward to this map because I haven’t gotten into zombies that much in this iteration of CoD but this somewhat reminds me of Die Hard in the high rise so if it provides that type of element to it, I’m sure we’ll play it non-stop. With that, comes the new game mode called Turned, where this time, you take control of the zombie and hunt down the lone human player. If you’re successful at doing so, you then become the lone human player and take turns killing others and the one with most kills as the human player seems to be the winner. At least that’s my assumption looking at the video itself. Regardless, it’s about time we get to see the other side and stalk our human compatriots and make their life hell.
Lastly, we have a new gun called the Peacekeeper coming to multiplayer exclusively. The gun is a hybrid between a submachine gun and assault rifle so you get a bit of the stopping power of the assault rifles, with the versatility of the SMG. Overall, I think this will be a giant success and am looking forward to the new DLC dropping on XBL on January 29th. Too bad for the other systems though because they don’t get the map packs until later but hey, pick up a 360 and join some of the Grizzly Bomb people. I guarantee you’ll be way better than us.
Wow…has it really been 9 years since his last leading role in Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines – oh right, yeah that’s why. Seriously I think I speak for all of us when I say he needs to come back and kick ass. This new acting chapter should be fun to see, and we know there is more of him to come in the next few years (please be good). Will he be the same action icon with one liners or something more serious? I would like to see something more serious, but I also don’t want him to lose his personality (Batman and Robin was too far). The picture below shows the main characters in his latest film – Last Stand. This is director Kim Ji-Woon‘s first American film.
In retrospect, it’s a little bit embarrassing to think that Lockout was on my most anticipated films of the year list. But I mean, how can you blame me? The film’s first preview was engaging enough, and for God’s sake, the movie had Guy Pearce in it. For those not familiar with the powerhouse of legendary action that is Guy Pearce, he’s the actor to beat all actors. I’ve only recently become a Guy Pearce fan, but after seeing some of the films in his resume, I can safely say that the guy is one of the most eclectic and talented guys working in film today.
So why would he accept a role as amateur as this? To be honest, I don’t know, but here are five reasons that lead me to believe that Lockout will not live up to its potential. I’ll also include three reasons why the inner action film fan in me is going to love this movie.
5. Lockout is rated PG-13.
Yes, yes. The dreaded PG-13 rating. Very few films have been able to truly push their PG-13 to its full potential (The Dark Knight and Titanic specifically), and I highly doubt that Lockout will be the film to break new ground with this MPAA certificate of approval. Had the film been rated R, it probably could have had the appeal of graphic violence in its favor. But alas, money is everything in Hollywood, and the more asses you can get into the seats, the happier the execs are.
Personally, I don’t think this film will work as a PG-13 film. The premise and central villain seem to be too gritty for a PG-13 movie. Then again, screenwriter Luc Besson kind of made Taken work as a PG-13 action movie, but just barely. I’m also definitely not expecting the Christopher Nolan level of genius that came with The Dark Knight.
4. The film’s writers/directors, James Mather and Stephen St. Leger have never made a feature film before. They’ve barely even made one short.
This reasoning can be considered invalid by a lot of readers, and I completely understand that. But look at this from my perspective. If your first film seems to be a witless, joyless, and ultimately brainless action film that happens to star a great actor, what can we expect from you in the future? I agree with the whole “where would we be as filmgoers if we never gave first time directors a chance?” mentality. But what I don’t agree with is letting what are pretty much two amateurs make a film like this. Granted, Lockout has a fairly modest budget of $30 million dollars (compare that to the $250 million dollar price tag on The Dark Knight Rises), but I’d like to see a feature film debut more along the lines of the ingenious Tucker & Dale Vs. Evil.
The last time we let a first time director make a big budget Guy Pearce movie, the result was the god-awful Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark, and much like Lockout, it was vouched for by a very popular filmmaker (Guillermo Del Toro). I theorize that the only reason Lockout had a chance of being produced was because of Luc Besson who came up with the original idea and co-wrote the screenplay for the film. He also serves as executive producer on the picture. In other words, he really wanted to see this movie hit the big screen.
3. Luc Besson hasn’t written a truly good action movie in years.
This is one that I hate to have to bring up, but it’s true. It really is. Sure the guy has made a couple cool looking movies over the past few years with some great martial arts and some admittedly great gunplay, but have things really been great since The Professional? No, they haven’t. Sure, From Paris With Love and The Transporter trilogy had some moments of greatness, but overall, they were just pretty good. Really good even, but not great.
I respect Luc Besson, I really do. But at the end of the day, he’s great at one thing. Mindless action films. He rehashes his ideas and uses fast paced and slickly edited action sequences to get things moving. Like my mother always said, you can polish a turd but at the end of the day it’s still a piece of shit. (Had to throw in a Jody Hill reference to keep things moving!)
2. From Lockout‘s previews, it seems like the film has only so-so special effects.
Earlier this year, a little $17 million dollar film called Chronicle was released and it completely turned the superhero genre on its head. I’m not sure if you guys remember, but the CGI in that film was pretty freaking fantastic. Now, after reading some advance reviews and rewatching the previews for Lockout, I can honestly say that without seeing the movie, the effects in this movie border on…pathetic.
Don’t believe me? Take a look at the preview again, and when Guy Pearce is riding the futuristic looking motorcycle, tell me with a straight face that those CG graphics don’t look like something straight out of a video game. Which leads me to my final point…
1. The previews just suck…a lot.
Upon a first viewing of the preview for Lockout, I was intrigued and ultimately began to really anticipate this film. Now, I look at the preview and I just laugh. The cheesy one-liners, the crappy CG effects, the awful dialogue, and the borderline plagiarism that occurs in the story line (Escape from L.A. meets Die Hard, anyone?) On top of that, the cast is full of B and C list actors, not including Guy Pearce, that look flat out embarrassed to be on camera.
Now that I’ve basically shit on this movie before it’s even come out, here are three reasons why Lockout might not be as bad as we think…
3. Guy Pearce.
Need I say more? The man is a god in his arena. He can do anything from a western to a sci-fi to a horror to a family drama, and he can do it damn well, too. I’ve never really seen him take on a role that he couldn’t handle. If anything else, Lockout will benefit from a committed performance by Pearce himself.
2. The premise is interesting enough, even if it’s been done before.
I’ll just be the asshole that goes ahead and says that even though this premise has been done to death, it still looks interesting in the context of this film. By essentially stealing from every other great breakout sci-fi action film of the 80s and 90s, Lockout mashes them all together into one big super movie and expects the audience to not know the difference. And while this is true for some to most regular movie-goers, film buffs are rather outraged by the film’s shameless borrowing tactics. I for one am open to the idea of derivative and mindless. It gives me a reason to waste 95 minutes of my life and for a decent enough reason at that. Action movies are fun, and the ones that aren’t fun can just go end up in the $5 dollar bin at WalMart.
1. Come on, people. That villain with the Scottish accent is pretty awesome.
Joseph Gilgun. A name not familiar to many, but to fans of “Misfits” and This Is England, you probably just jumped for joy at the sight of his name. For those who need to catch up, Joseph Gilgun is, for all intents and purposes, a bad ass. With an intensity similar to that of Tom Hardy in the 2008 film Bronson, Gilgun is able to channel what can be characterized as a slight bout of aggression, into some pretty phenomenal roles. I, for one, am thrilled to see him as Lockout‘s predominant villain. I have a feeling that after Pearce, Gilgun is definitely going to steal the show.
Here you have it folks. My reasoning behind why Lockout might suck, and why it might not. Feel free to comment and agree or disagree.
Original Lockout trailer:
Also, you can watch the first five minutes of the film, as well as a couple of other clips:
Grizzly Bomb 
