In 1994, a remake of the beloved Christmas film Miracle on 34th Street was released. It is one of my absolute favorites, and what I believe to be a must-see during the holiday season.
This movie starts off when the Thanksgiving Day parade is getting underway. Cole’s department store (not to be confused with Kohl’s) is the main event, and their Santa Claus is drunk. He is too intoxicated to stand straight, let alone talk to children. Who decides to step in? Why, the real Santa Claus, of course! Kris Kringle is his real name, and he does an amazing job! Such an amazing job, in fact, that the events director Dorey Walker (Elizabeth Perkins) hires Kris as the Cole’s Santa Claus for the season on the spot!
During the parade while Dorey is taking charge and doing her job, her daughter Susan (Mara Wilson) is hanging out with Dorey’s boyfriend Bryan (Dylan McDermott) and watching the parade. Dorey has taught her daughter that it is foolish to believe in things like Santa Claus, and although Kris claims he is the real Santa, there is no such thing. Bryan tries to convince Susan to believe despite what her mother says.
When is the best time of year to watch a great slasher flick? Perhaps you’re thinking about October, near Halloween. Maybe a Friday the 13th lands during the month and you need some Voorhees in your life. But I hope you haven’t forgotten about one of the best seasons of all. I’m talking about ‘Holiday Horror’. If you like Gremlins, then you like holiday horror. Or maybe you saw Fast Times at Ridgemont High, and loved anything with Phoebe Cates ever since. I don’t blame you.
Wether you spin dreidels, or hang stockings, holiday horror flicks are a delightful treat that enhance the truly horrific qualities of our favorite holidays. It is the most wonderful time of the year, so why not incorporate some gratuitous violence with your yule tide cheer? For a fantastic example, check out Santa’s Slay starring none other than WCW wrestling superstar Bill Goldberg. (Just so all you Wrestlemaniacs are well aware, he does throw his signature move, “The Spear.”) This all-star line up also includes James Cann, Chris Kattan, Fran Drescher, and Rebecca Gayheart. Oh wait, never mind. They all get axed within the first four minutes. This is a true sign of slasher genius.
The plot revolves around Nicholas Yuleson (Douglas Smith). A young teen struggling through the holidays with his bah humbug grandfather. Luckily he has his girlfriend Mary (Emilie de Ravin of “Lost”) by his side. The plot may have borrowed some ideas from the Rosemary’s Baby playbook. The film shows us there have been two immaculate conceptions. God and the Virgin Mary giving birth to Jesus Christ, and Satan with the Virgin Erika giving birth to none other than Santa. See what they did there? They switched the position of the “n”.
Now I see Guy Gardner as the one who balances out the personalities of his fellow Earth Green Lanterns. He is the one who will get down and dirty if things need to get done when the stoic John Stewart, good-hearted Kyle Rayner and noble Hal Jordan can’t.