Countdown To Halloween: A Rogues Gallery Of CGI Creepy Creature Features!

There are many reasons to love Halloween. Free candy, dressing up in outrageous costumes, mad parties and plenty of scares. But for me the appeal of the season comes from one simple pleasure and that pleasure is getting to indulge my love of trashy monster flicks.

Now monster movies come in all shapes and sizes but for a true party atmosphere with a few friends and a few drinks there is nothing better than a cheap and nasty CGI creature feature flick. I remember when my friends and I settled down to watch Shark Attack 3. I was forever changed after that experience!

Megafoot: New Movie to Feature Cyborg Bigfoot?

Let’s not beat around the bush here: people like their cyborg movies. With the new Robocop on the way and movies like Manborg catching audience’s attention, it seems that director Rolfe Kanefsky wanted in on this action as well. His response is the film Megafoot where a cyborg Bigfoot goes toe to toe with your standard garden variety Bigfoot. Now the timing for this film is perfect. Since Sharknado and Wolf Cop, people have been more and more intrigued by movies that wear their love of the trashy movie genre on their sleeves and don’t try to be anything other than some good old B movie fun. Though little information is known about the movie at this time, it seems from the artwork already published online that this film fits into that category. Below is some concept art taken from the Megafoot Facebook page  showing a potentially awesome scene from the movie.

I don’t know much about director Rolfe, but boy does he have an impressive resume in the low budget horror field. Just a brief look on his IMDB page reveals his involvement in some cheesy classics like There’s Nothing Out There (1991), The Killer Eye (1999)  and The Hazing (2004)

Rolfe had this to say about the release of his poster which you can see below.

“Thought I’d share the poster for hopefully my return to the horror genre. A new script that I wrote and, if all goes well, will be directing in the Spring. Let me introduce you to my creature feature, Megafoot! What do you think?”

Now we all know looks can be deceiving and whether we actually see this monster look as awesome as he does on screen as he does in the poster is something we will have to wait for. Rolfe certainly seems like the guy to pull it off, so fingers crossed we might have a cult classic on our hands. Keep checking here at Grizzly Bomb for more updates as they arrive as this could give Bigfoot the biggest entertainment resurgence since Harry and the Hendersons!

Avalanche Sharks: Does Sharknado Have Competition?

Just when you thought it was safe to come out from under the covers the sharks rise up yet again. After the huge success Sharknado was for the SyFy channel they have done it again with their next shark feature, Avalanche Sharks. As you can see they have not strayed far from the source material, exchanging tornadoes for avalanches. Below is the Avalanche Shark official synopsis.

Spring break in the mountains: snowboarding, beer, drunken co-eds in bikinis. As the yearly Bikini Ski Day party descends on a small mountain town, something lurks beneath the snow. When an unwitting rider causes an avalanche, it awakens a huge, menacing, prehistoric Snow Shark! With a newfound taste for human flesh, the Snow Shark picks off the snow bunnies mercilessly. Cut off from help by mountainous terrain and blinding snow, the local sheriff must make an unlikely alliance with a motley crew of snowboarders to take down the Snow Shark before the white hills run red with blood!

Now if you have all finished laughing at the notion of a “motley crew of snowboarders” then you may need to sit yourself down for the trailer.

Glad to see all the things this reviewer expects from a shark movie are in there. Stupid teens, bikinis, a shark that pops up in truly strange places (yeah I am talking about the hot tub scene) and people with guns shooting aimlessly at stuff. They even find time to add the crazy man who used to pop up in all the 80s Slasher movies (especially Friday the 13^th 1 and 2). What made Sharknado so much fun was the nudge and a wink approach and a generally funny concept of having sharks leap out of a tornado. However, with this film it fits directly into pretty much every other shark related movie’s pattern (Sand Shark, Shark in Venice, etc), it has a shark popping up and eating people. There is also is the small problem that a shark in snow is already a concept that has appeared in film in the 2011 movie Snow Shark.

Not that any of this is a bad thing (horror is well known for returning to the same themes and shark fans know what these films are like), it’s just going to get cluttered up with the rest of the shark movies which pretty much all cover this kind of thing. It looks fun, but I am surprised that some kind of Sharknado team up (giant octopus would have been welcome) was not introduced, seems like a waste especially after the huge success it found. It looks good enough, but from viewing the trailer it is not going to be up there with Shark Attack 3 and Sharknado. Maybe the shoes are just too big to fill. Still it is early days and I really, really hope I am wrong, as this reviewer loves this kind of cheesy nonsense. Not sure on a release date yet, but we will have our fingers crossed that Avalanche Sharks will rock the shark fans’ world.

Shark Week! News on 2 Sharktopus Sequels!

Shark movie fans have never had it better, with more films than you can ever conceive of watching in your life time readily available in DVD or digital format. With the success of Sharknado fans are crying out for even more, so it is with great pleasure we take the shark movie back to its roots with Sharktopus Vs Mermantula, a sequel to the fantastical tongue in cheek Sharktopus.

Sharktopus was certainly not the first shark movie out there, but it was one of the first to employ the mash-up technique (just throw anything together and hope that it sticks) and with this sequel they have gone all out to entertain. It comes to us from Roger Corman, who is widely considered a genius in the low-budget movie industry, and it is hard to argue with that when he comes up with classics like this. Here is the sequels plot synopsis curtsey of Shock Till You Drop.

[box_dark]In order to take down Sharktopus, Ray Brady, a former basketball player is injected with a transformation serum that alters his genetic make-up to become part man, part piranha and part tarantula. Though, unsuccessful at his first attempt to bring down Sharktopus, Ray injects himself with a growth hormone, increasing his strength tenfold and has a final showdown with Sharktopus in a baseball stadium.[/box_dark]

Roger Corman also released some very short clips which can be seen below:

Now this news will have you either jumping up with joy or banging your head against your computer screen. For me, it’s the best news ever! Say what you will about these flicks, at least they are never dull and they have some of the most inventive plot devices you can possibly think of. If you are still not sold then how about the super casting of Casper Van Dien and Catherine Oxenberg! Okay, forget I mentioned it!

Still not impressed? How about yet another Sharktopus sequel! Dread Central proudly shared the news, h and we have a short description:

[box_dark]Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda – Sharktopus’ offspring goes toe-to-toe with the latest science experiment “Pteracuda” in a battle for supremacy.[/box_dark]

This time we have David Carradine’s brother Robert Carradine popping up as the mandatory star, with both films airing on SyFy. Both movies are directed by Kevin O’Neill (not the comic artist) who is a dab hand at these types of film, with Dinoshark and Dinocroc under his belt, as well as the amazingly titled and soon to be released Dracano, which is basically about a volcano that shoots out dragons.

To top it off, if you still need your shark fix here is a clip of Tara Reid (star of Sharknado) giving her interesting take on sharks. It is a work of genius.

Oh, and because this particular reviewer loves shark movies so much here is Cinemassacre‘s top 40 shark movies ( yes that is the Angry Video Game Nerd James Rolfe, before you ask) which should be used as a wish list for all shark fans. Enjoy.

Film Festival Fodder: 12 of the Craziest Posters from Cannes 2013

[divider] The Cannes film festival is a time of celebration for the movie industry as every big Hollywood studio tries to woo fans and press alike with their new releases. But it is not just big budget ventures like Only God Forgives that get a chance to shine in the limelight because Cannes is also a time when the low budget companies get to play. These companies don’t get their fair share of attention in my eyes so here is a list of the top twelve picks from this year’s Cannes. Some are good and some are bad, very very bad but at least they are always interesting to look at.

[tabgroup][tab title=” Abner the Invisible Dog “]

Words escape me on this one. I think I will just slowly walk away from the computer and get some mind bleach to erase the fact I ever set eyes on this awful poster with its over used plot device. What is the fascination with dogs at Cannes this year? This is the second film that has a dog in the lead. Fred Olen Ray, the once master of cheap horror movies, made this and I really think he should have known better.

[/tab][tab title=” Android Cop “]

With a costume straight out of a bargain basement Halo movie and a cover entirely created on computer I am guessing that this is going to be a laugh riot, whether it was intended to be or not. It is hard to see what film the makers are going for here. It seems like Robocop but why bring a Robocop copy out now? This looks bad even for low budget movies.

[/tab] [tab title=” Copposites “]

A washed up cop and a law breaker on the mend do the body swap routine in this supposed comedy. I am guessing there is hilarity to be had with plenty of slightly dubious racial jokes and digs at how bad law enforcement officers are. It is a well known fact that mustaches sell cinema tickets so I am glad that this film has obliged us with one hell of a top lip curler. The body swap genre is not one I ever needed to revisit and I doubt this film is going to change my mind…………Who am I kidding? I will be watching it as soon as it is released on DVD.

[/tab] [tab title=” Dragons 2 “]

Do I know anything about Dragons 1? No, nothing at all but if it looks anything like the sequel then I am happy in my ignorance. I don’t think I have ever seen a cover so cluttered with CGI tat before. It is so crammed in you can barely see what is going on as one colour mixes into another; oh look I think I see a dragon. Why does the Snooki look alike on the front have no neck and such a weird body shape? That is the danger of photoshop overuse and it has really screwed up this poor woman’s proportions. Unless she actually looks like that and if that’s the case I am very sorry. This was not the only dragon film at Cannes either; there are at least two more. I think dragons may be the new low budget zombie for film makers now, a thought that makes me tremble with fear.

[/tab] [tab title=” FDR: American Badass “]

I am a sucker for anything with Barry Bostwick in so I would see this anyway but what is there not to like here? An American president who battles polio but still finds time to get kitted out with a killer wheel chair courtesy of Einstein and the CIA makes me think this is probably not factually accurate. If this image alone is not enough to get you all psyched up then guess who the villains are? Only Nazi Werewolves! Yeah I have seen loads of Nazi zombies but Nazis werewolves only turn up once in a blue moon. There is not one part of this poster I do not like, it is simply stunning.

[/tab] [tab title=” My Dog the Champion “]

When I hear the word spoiled teenager in a sentence I can assume that by the film’s end she will have ditched her selfish ways and become someone that loves all her family and friends. Now add in an elderly grandpa and a dog that needs training for a show and you have this film in a nutshell. If this done to death plot is not enough to put you off, then look at the complete lack of effort that has gone into producing this poster. I can see 7 different photos here, all of which have been thrown together to create this mess. Was it so hard for the actors all to get together to have their photo taken? The dogs must have been free at least. Oh why Lance why did you agree to do this piece of rubbish. You are so much better than this and you know it!

[/tab] [tab title=” Robot “]

No, sorry. This is a guy in silver makeup, not a robot. You are not fooling me with that nonsense. Unless the guy thinks he is a robot and the kid is his mentor. That would be okay but if that is not the case then this is just a really poorly devised robot. That kid really freaks me out to. Why is he so scary looking? The finger pointing to the potential victim (or me, as he is looking right at me) is quite disconcerting. Still it has a rocket launcher in it so it cannot be all that bad.

[/tab] [tab title=” Santa Claws “]

At first I thought this movie was actually one of the many horror Santa flicks that litter the shelves in DVD rental stores near Christmas. But it is actually a kid’s film where Santa does not deliver cats at Christmas because of his allergies. Santa should not be delivering animals anyway in my view, just think of the mess it would make in the sled. Anyway, one child called Little Tommy has been extra good so Santa breaks his own rules and brings him a kitten. It sucks to be Santa though because not just one cat gets in his sack but the whole litter leading to hilarity when the kittens have to deliver the presents themselves while Santa suffers a massive allergic reaction. No news on whether Santa actually survives this attack or even if the kittens can drive a sled. I bet the kittens can talk too; they always talk in these kinds of movies.

[/tab] [tab title=” Sharknado “]

There are a few films on this list that are just plain awful and there are even fewer which actually look like they might be amazing movies. This is one of those elite few. “Enough Said” is the tag line and it has won me over already. It is by Asylum, the bastions of all things ripped off and CGI enhanced, so I cannot wait for this one to come my way. A tornado of sharks is enough to make any cinema goer jump out of their seat in delight.

[/tab] [tab title=” Ultimate Adventure “]

Adventure is spelled wrong in the title but I will let them off as it is a foreign release and maybe that’s how they spell it over there. The reason I liked this particular poster was I had no idea what was going on. A cat ( or it could be a rabbit I guess) that looks a lot like David Tennant as Doctor Who carries a cheering cat (or rabbit) partner while they chase a horrified / excited rabbit across a landscape that has pigs in suits and a crocodile as the villain? Well it has certainly piqued my interest.

[/tab] [tab title=” Voyage “]

Director Scud brings us this Hong Kong treat about a depressed psychiatrist who visits former clients to get some closure. They all apparently live on nudist beaches as this is the only reason I can think for him being in the nip. The director says there is a funny hara-kiri scene in this so that’s something to look forward to. I have no idea what to think of this film. It looks like the male equivalent of the late night erotic thrillers Shannon Tweed used to make or at the very least a more disturbing take on Cast Away. Well they do say sex sells but in this case it really has not worked for me.

[/tab] [tab title=” Zombie Night “]

Why this company even bothered to make this film is beyond me. It covers so many over used horror film clichés it will be pointless watching. It has something sinister happening on Halloween, a zombie hand popping out the ground that we have seen a hundred times before and it is yet another zombie movie. The only way this movie could be saved is if the zombie goes trick or treating for brains. Now that is a film I would like to see.

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So that’s it for the round up of Cannes 2013 weird and wonderful movies. Thanks to Total Film and The Guardian for the poster selections. These two sites have a few more gems that I did not have the heart to write about so if you liked this selection then it may be worth checking them out to. I doubt we will hear from most of these straight to DVD movies ever again but if Sharknado and FDR American Badass do not get a release somewhere then the cinematic world will be a lonelier place because of it.