“A trio of reckless thieves breaks into the house of a wealthy blind man, thinking they’ll get away with the perfect heist. They’re wrong.”
In the infancy of Grizzly Bomb, we spent a lot of time talking about The Party Crasher. And while he’s mostly been retired from the rotation around here, we’ll never stop being fans. The Party Crasher was, of course, a character played by Stephen Lang in the seminal 1991 comedy The Hard Way. [Duh.] Anyway, Mr. Lang is starring in an upcoming thriller called Don’t Breathe, in which he plays a helpless old blind man…probably.
The Setup: X-Force, a team of mutants led by the mysterious time traveler known as Cable, takes on missions that threaten the future of mutantkind. Their latest mission is to find a missing group of New Mutants who will potentially be important to the X-Men in the future. X-Force discovers that the kids have been kidnapped by Mr. Sinister, a mad mutant geneticist, who is served by the deadly mutant killers known as the Marauders. Awesome action ensues, the X-Force team grows as New Mutants join up, and a future trilogy is hinted at, with Cable’s long time foe Apocalypse as the overall villain.
One thing is for certain about 2149…. the future sure is going to suck. The whole place is overpopulated and filthy with pollution. The air is so bad you have to wear a re-breather mask and if you have more than two kids you’re in some big ol’ trouble. It just so happens that’s what happens with the Shannon family. After the police find out that the Shannon’s have one more kid that they are allowed they arrest fellow officer Jim Shannon who made the mistake of also decking three of the officers who tried to take his youngest daughter Zoey. After spending two years in the local prison known as Golad, the Shannons are selected to be a part of the Terra Nova project and after a little more lawbreaking they are together once more as a family albeit 35 million years ago.
The Terra Nova project is simple really. There was a rip in the fabric of time space that led back 35 million years and the people of 2149 took advantage of this to save our civilization. This may leave you to wonder as I did – Wouldn’t we just destroy our own timeline and cause those who settled the past to vanish from existence with our meddling? No, because luckily this is all quashed by one of the Shannon children explaining to the other that the only reason their actions don’t affect the future is because it’s not the same time stream they are in on the Terra Nova settlement.
The first part of Genesis was okay, mainly serving the purpose to introduce everyone and everything including the Shannon kids, one of which is a typical teenager with all of the angst to go with it. The best character to be introduced in my opinion is that of Nathaniel Taylor, leader of the Terra Nova settlement and played by none other than our resident party crasher Stephen Lang. From the previews you would be lead to believe that he is playing the same character of Colonel Quaritch from Avatar but Taylor is a bit different. Though he has the same toughness and rigidness of Quaritch, he lacks the ruthlessness and knows how to be a fair and just leader. I enjoyed seeing Stephen Lang in action in the second part of the season premiere, which was a helluva lot better than the first.
After seeing the teenagers playing around and being teenagers and the little girl feeding the plant eating brachiosaurs (Groan), we finally get some action. I suppose it goes to show us that even in a world where humans can start from scratch, they will still fight and kill one another. It’s in part two that we are introduced into the “sixers”, a group of settlers that broke off from the Terra Nova settlement to start their own.
They’re called sixers because each group that comes into Terra Nova is known as a pilgrimage and the sixth one happened to contain those who split from the settlement. This changes the whole dynamic of the show for me because I was terribly afraid that we were just going to see little problems between people in the settlement constantly and teenagers getting lost and running from Dinosaurs each week. But it appears that we’ll have a few little storylines to follow each week from here on out. The conflict with the sixers is first and foremost for me, but there is also the geometrical writings on the wall that Jim Shannon’s son Josh found with his new friends and Taylor’s son who went missing a long time ago. My guess is that it will eventually turn out that he is a sixer, possibly even the leader. Actually a couple of those were surprisingly revealed by the end of the episode but I won’t spoil it for you.
I give the premiere a 4 out of 5. It kept me pretty entertained for two hours and even though I know it won’ t be constant dinosaur attacks like we’ve had in this premiere I’m hopeful they can give us something equally as bad ass over the course of the season. The actors were excellent, even the semi-annoying teens. Even though Taylor is my favorite character he is by no means the main character. The main focus is the Shannon family and their patriarch Jim Shannon is definitely my second favorite character, played by Jason O’Mara. It was a good thing he was given the opportunity to be a cop again because if he was part of the agriculture team for more than a quarter of the episode I’d probably of puked. With a lack of masculinity on TV that our dear Dr. Kronner rants and raves about on Grizzly Bomb, it was nice to see a dad doing everything for his family to keep them together while not being a complete bumbling fool who is constantly in touch with his feelings and all that nonsense. I’ll be tuning in next week fo’ sho’.
So we’ve already had a teaser and a trailer, as well as a slew of posters for the new Conan the Barbarian, coming out this August. But we had not yet gotten a Red Band Trailer to show us all of the violent glory this flick is all about. Luckily we now have one to show you.
Looks excellent to me. I’m not looking for some deep movie about a barbarian’s feelings and how life gets him down. I want to see Conan fighting monsters, killing people and getting the gal! By the looks of this trailer that is what we’re gonna get!
Captain America isn’t the only one releasing new character posters. The new Conan movie is also jumping into the game. And while we didn’t originally get excited about the casting of Jason Momoa as Schwarzenegger’s replacement, his role as ‘Khal Drogo’ in A Game of Thrones has done more than enough to change our minds. What has our staff most excited however is the presence of the Party Crasher, who will be pitting his own awesomeness against Conan’s as his nemesis ‘Khalar Zym’.
The studio has released 5 character posters, each an exclusive to a different website. Sadly, Grizzly Bomb was not included in the prestigious 5. First Showing has the best of the posters – Mr. Zym…
The next coolest of the posters was awarded to Pop Wrap (Really?) and that is the one that features Rose McGowan as Marique…
My 3rd favorite, is the one awarded to MTV’s Splashpage, and that’s of the big guy himself.
Next is Conan’s dad, who by definition has to be a badass – Coming Soon‘s Ron Perlman as Corin. Perlman is one handsome SOB isn’t he…
After a REALLY huge let down of a teaser trailer, we are finally treated to the premiere of a full Conan The Barbarian preview! As you know the Party Crasher, AKA Stephen Lang, stars in the film as the villain Khalar Zym.
You see a few good glimpses of him, and the speaking parts paint him out to be one decadently evil dude. Rose McGowan looks pretty sinister too as Marique, some evil witch lookin’ bitch. I honestly couldn’t even tell it was her with that half balding head, because I had thought she had dropped out of the movie when was in the long development phase.
Conan himself is played by newcomer Jason Momoa, who also plays another Barbarian named Khal Drogo in the HBO fantasy series calledGame of Thrones. You may have heard of it.
And now without further adieu, the trailer in all it’s barbaric party crashing glory:
I’m all in for this one. You give me babes, blades, monsters and the Party Crasher and I’m set to go. I think any Conan fan should be psyched for this movie by watching the trailer.
There’s always the potential even a movie with a good trailer can totally suck, but you never know until you see the final product. I’m just happy the movie is finally done and ready to go after it was in development hell for nearly a decade.
I would also advise anyone familiar with the “Youraagh” Scream to listen closely at the 00:49 and 1:49 marks in the trailer because they definitely used it. What a glorious product of movie sound!
Oh buddy. It’s hard to imagine this kind of cast in a movie this poorly shot and written. In 1992, if you had put Sylvester Stallone, Tom Berenger, Charles S. Dutton, and Kris Kristofferson into one movie, it’d be for sure a summer blockbuster. In 2002 however, this movie barely registered a blip on the radar. And that’s not all. This masterpiece also luminaries such as T-1000, Young Indiana Jones, and none other than our very own Party Crasher. Oh yeah, THE Party Crasher.
So now that I got the sweet ass cast out-of-the-way, let’s get to the shit fest movie itself. Eye See You is the story of a FBI Agent Jake Malloy (Stallone) who is hunting a serial killer who targets cops. Said killer has ended 9 cops in the last 6 months and the 10th is one of Malloy’s friends. As Malloy arrives at the crime scene he receives a call from the killer…who is at his house. He is then forced listen to the murder of his girlfriend. What I just wrote is a generous description. These first 30 or so minutes of the movie were terribly written, poorly shot, and as predictable and cliché as I’ve seen. Though I did like the killer’s method – he would knock on the door, and when people look into the keyhole he puts a drill though their eyeball.
After his girlfriend’s death Malloy falls into months of depression and tries to kill himself…twice. Eventually he is convinced by his partner (a very fat Dutton) to a middle of no-where detox facility for cops, run by an ex-cop (Kristofferson).
I admit that once he arrives at the detox center the movie gets exponentially better. It climbs from the depths of a ‘terrible action movie’ all the way up the ladder to a ‘mediocre thriller’. Of course when you add those 2 halves together, it still averages out less than a sub-par movie. Bad enough in fact that the studio shelved it for 3 years before they altogether disowned it. And despite spending $55 million on the production (most of which was probably the cast) they gave it such a limited US release that it grossed only $32 thousand dollars. That’s a bit of a bust. It also didn’t help that it was released around the rest of the globe under the title D-Tox, and then renamed Eye See You for the U.S. DVD release, effectively confusing the shit out of people.
Once the mystery part of the story gets moving it’s obvious they drew upon one of the greatest mystery thrillers of all-time: The Thing. In fact, if you take the aliens and the quality out of The Thing, you’re basically left with this movie, right down to the blizzard setting.
Now I am a Stallone fan, but even surrounded by the talent present in this movie, he gives one of his weakest performances. In fact, so do Kristofferson and Berenger. And I would rip Dutton, but there wasn’t enough script for him to work with for him to take any of the blame. But this is what happens when you hand your movie over to a director who biggest critical success is I Know What You Did Last Summer. And yes, I said critical, not commercial, though that would qualify too.
My biggest problem with the movie however, is clearly the same problem that prevented this garnering a bigger release. Both under exposure and misuse of The Party Crasher. Here you have one of the greatest actors of our time, and he was given all of 10 lines or so. It’s down right shameful.
Overall I’d have to give this movie 3 Bears for the Party Crasher, but I have to take away one of those Bears since they so poorly used him.
During the Superbowl, I was very unimpressed with the movie previews we were treated to during the commercial breaks. Captain America seemed to be the only one that really stood out, but that was a ‘blink and you’ll miss it’ affair. But there was a TV preview that looked exceptional, it was called Terra Nova.
At first glance it looked like a movie, and being it was produced by Steven Spielberg you can’t help but think it’s going to be an instant hit. Initially I was surprised to see it was made for TV and not a major theater release. And I’m fine with it being on TV so as long as the production value is top-notch and there is a good cast.
The production value will remain to be seen past the trailer, but the quality cast is already evident upon seeing THE Stephen Lang, whom many know as ‘Colonel Quaritch’ from James Cameron’s Avatar. Here at Grizzly Bomb though, he is honorably known as the Party Crasher!
The story of Terra Nova revolves around a family living on Earth in the year 2149. The Earth at this point is a dying planet due to war, pollution and Justin Bieber overload.
A family, the Shannons, are then transported back in time 85 million years to the prehistoric era when dinosaurs roamed the earth. There they find themselves among a colony of humans called Terra Nova.
The Superbowl trailer teased not only with the show but also a sneak preview in May. However, according to an article at IGN the show will not be seen at all until fall this year. Not even a preview due to the effects not being finished. As much as I want to see Stephen Lang crashing a dinosaur’s par-tay, it would be best if they didn’t present us a preview with half-assed effects, that would just kill it for us.
But have no fear, if you’re in need of a Party Crasher fix, he will be with us soon enough in August when he destroys Conan the Barbarian!