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Top Ten Most Memorable WWE Moments – Part 2

 

Article by Cheesebadger and Godzark

Welcome to part 2 of Grizzly Bomb’s Top Ten Most Personally Memorable WWE Moments. Where Godzark and I have compiled our own memorable WWE moments. We thought that rather than try to make another in a long series of “Top X OMG Moments”, much like the WWE themselves have done, we’d prefer to share the moments that stuck with us on a personal level. The moments that made our eyes pop open in disbelief, laughter, surprise, or sheer excitement. Sure, some of these may not be universally recognized as the biggest, baddest, most memorable moments in WWE history, but to us, they were.

5.) Big Bossman Kidnaps, Kills & Cooks Al Snow’s Dog

Cheesebadger: Holy shit. Sometimes a storyline, even a sub-plot minor storyline like this one, can leave an impression on you you’ll never forget. Right around this time there was probably some big feud between Stone Cold Steve Austin & The Rock. Sure I remember that feud, but the everyday skits about it didn’t stick with me the way THIS storyline did. In 1999, when the WWE(F) was at the height of its Attitude Era popularity, they seemed determined to make Big Bossman the most despicable heel alive. After weeks of mentally and physically torturing Al Snow with random beatings and whatnot, it seemed like things had finally gotten to a head. You see, Al Snow had made himself a little friend. A chihuahua named Pepper, whom he loved. He carried Pepper around everywhere and took care of him, so it was only a matter of time until Big Bossman dognapped Pepper. Al Snow became dedicated to rescuing his furry friend, and just as we all though Big Bossman was about to do the unthinkable, something happened.

Suddenly, Big Bossman reached out to Al Snow, asked for forgiveness, and begged Al to trust him. He insisted that Pepper was fine, and would return him to Snow. He even invited Snow over to his place for dinner, all the while assuring Snow that he had to make things right between them. Snow complied, still suspicious but desperate to get his friend back. When Snow arrived at Big Bossman’s place, Bossman insisted Snow try some of the meal he cooked for him, before he returned Pepper. A wary Al Snow took a few bites of the chinese food that had been seemingly prepared by Big Bossman, before Pepper’s ultimate fate was revealed with one shocking sentence I’ll never forget:

“Would you do me a favor, and try not to get them paws stuck in your teeth.”

The pause after that sentence seemed like minutes, as Big Bossman went on to proclaim what Al Snow was eating was in fact, 100% Grade A Pepper. That’s right, Big Bossman fed Al Snow his own damn dog. If that seems extreme, Big Bossman went on a tear continuing his reign as the worst human being alive by feuding with Big Show. How did he top himself there? Oh simple, he just interrupted Big Show at his fathers funeral, assaulted him, then stole his dead father’s casket with body inside, and literally towed it out of the graveyard behind his cop car. Yeah. That moment was almost on this list too.

4.) Unholy Matrimony of Undertaker & Stephanie McMahon

Godzark: The WWE has done some unforgettable mock weddings on their shows, but nothing will ever compare in my book to the “unholy matrimony,” between The Undertaker and Stephanie McMahon. This just so happened to play right in the middle of Stone Cold Steve Austin (who was and always will be my favorite wrestler)’s feud with Stephanie’s father, and owner of the WWE, Vince McMahon. The premise was that The Undertaker would kidnap Stephanie and tie her to his symbol, while Paul Bearer in all his wonderful pastiness and his sweet comb-over would marry Taker and Steph. This all went according to plan until the most unlikely beer drankin, finger flippin, Texas redneck anti-hero came out to save the day. The reason this moment meant so much to me was because I feel like it was the moment that pushed the “hero,” into Steve Austin’s anti-hero label. With the daughter of Austin’s arch nemesis in trouble, Steve came out and did the right thing, just because it was the right thing to do. When I was a kid, it really made me look up to Steve Austin, in a similar way that today’s youth looks up to John Cena. The impact that this moment had on me is why I believed it earned the right to be on this list.

3.) Kane Finally Unmasks Himself

Godzark: For years the WWE built Kane’s character to be The Undertaker’s brother who was burned in a fire at the families funeral home as a child. Kane spent six years behind the infamous red and black mask, supposedly in attempt to cover the hideous scars he received as a result of being burned in the fire, which was caused by his dysfunctional brother. In 2002, Kane was set up to compete in a match, where should he lose, which he inevitably did, he was required to take his mask off. I remember a friend of mine stayed over that night and I had my VCR recording this moment, only to re-watch it about 20 times throughout the night. This was the moment that changed the landscape of Kane’s career forever, and a moment that I’ll never forget.

To me the reason this moment stuck out so much, goes far beyond the storyline that was behind Kane’s character, there was also a degree of mystery to him as a person. Even though some longtime fans new that Glen Jacobs had played the unmasked character of Dr. yankem much earlier in his career, to fans that began watching during the attitude era, Jacobs was completely new. What I remember most about this moment was the fact that, as soon as it happened, as a fan I wasn’t really sure what to think, since there were no visible scars on his previously masked face. Did this mean that the whole story was a sham, or was this man so delusional that he really believed that he was burned in a fire and in fact did have these scars? It was a perfect way to keep fans sitting on the edge of their seats, waiting to see where the storyline would progress next. Either way, this moment was in my opinion, one of the greatest non PPV moments in WWE history.

2.) Stone Cold VS The Rock At Wrestlemania 15

Cheesebadger: One thing about this match that bring it some necessary context, is that in 1999, SCSA and The Rock were the two biggest names in all of pro wrestling, and arguably of all time. They were larger than life in every single way, right down to their finishing moves being sold as unstoppable, world shattering blows that no mortal man could possibly withstand. The Rock was played up as an arrogant, cocksure young jerk who could walk the walk as well as talk the talk, and Austin was the the toughest SOB in the entire WWE(F). Their feud is probably one of the best pure examples of how successful a properly done Heel Vs Face feud could be. The heights of fame and popularity their characters reached has since been unparalleled, and for months the two of them combatted each other in the ring or on the mic. When it all came down to it though, they settled things (for the first time anyway), in the ring at Wrestlemania.

To the both of them, the WWF Championship meant everything, and it was worth everything but short of your last dying breath to strive for. As a young WWF fan, seeing the both of them give each other every single thing they had, was like watching titans battle before your eyes. So many times we had seen people utterly destroyed by the one-two combo of the Rock Bottom & People’s Corporate Elbow. Additionally, The Stone Cold Stunner was a move so devastating and rapidly given, that SCSA often could take on multiple opponents at once or end matches nearly instantly, so great was its power. After 20 plus minutes of battle, seeing these two greats kick out multiple times from each other’s finishing moves, was unheard of. I remember being absolutely awestruck at the fact that Austin had such tenacity, surviving everything the Rock threw at him, and countered a third Rock Bottom into a Stunner that won him the match and championship. Austin winning that title was a victory for all the fans of the Texas Ratttlesnake that night, and a victory for all wrestling fans who got to see an unforgettable match.

1.) Mankind VS The Rock at the 1999 Royale Rumble

Talk about an unforgettable match. Even in 1999 people knew Mick Foley was going to be a legend, but this match sealed it for me. I remember being so excited for all of the build up Mankind had, with his recent face turn, brief acceptance into DX, and subsequent title reign. Mankind being world champion was the feel good story at the time, and their rivalry was a classic case of the underdog winning. At the time Mankind was known for his tenacious ability, incredible resilience and massive tolerance for pain. He was the last man you’d ever expect to quit a match, and would literally rather die than give up. So an I Quit Match at the 1999 Royal Rumble seemed like a no brainer. How could he possibly lose?

Sure enough, for the first few minutes things seemed like they were in Mankind’s favor, as The Rock seemed puzzled at what to do to put Mankind into a state where he’d give up. You could pin the man down for 3 seconds sure, but break his spirit? Impossible. What transpired over the last 10 or so minutes, left my jaw agape during the entirety of the match. After being pushed off a guardrail 20 feet up, onto electrical wires and nearly being electrocuted to death, The Rock somehow found handcuffs, and handcuffed Mankind with his hands behind his back. Ever resistant, Mankind still fought back, until The Rock grabbed a chair.

The Rock then proceeded to wail on Mankind with chair shots directly to the head. After 10 unprotected chair shots to the head, including one to back of the head, The Rock placed the microphone next tot he mouth of an apparently unconcious (or dead) Mankind. What happened next is in my mind, still up for debate. The fact of the matter is that the phrase “I Quit! I Quit! I Quit!” was played over the loudspeakers, and the match ended with a victory for The Rock. The next night we’d discover that in storyline terms, this was The Rock’s way of ensuring his victory, by “cheating” and using a clip from a promo Mankind had made earlier. In real life, I think what happened was that people backstage were scrambling to try to end the match, which had quickly grown out of control. I assume that a certain number of chair shots were agreed upon, but as usual, Mankind and The Rock took it to the next level. After the 10th chair shot to the back of the head, Mankind is clearly unconcious, and whoever controls the soundboards at the WWF took that as an opportunity to end the match by playing that clip. I’m positive the real story behind this match is out there, but that’s how I’ll personally remember it, and that memory of watching these two men was incredible. They embodied the Unstoppable Force and The Immovable Object so perfectly, and as we all know, that contest only ends when they finally give up.

Honorable Mention*:

Godzark: Although we here at Grizzlybomb, like to focus on things that put people in a good mood, Cheese and I both believe it would be absolutely ridiculous not to mention somewhere on this list the scary moment that occurred a couple weeks ago on Raw. On September 1oth, Jerry “The King” Lawler had a near fatal heart attack on Raw, and as a viewer, few moments have made my stomach sink like this one did. When you watch wrestling every week for fifteen years, the show becomes defined by not just the wrestlers, but those calling the action as well. For years, Jerry Lawler has been synonymous with not only the WWE, but pro wrestling commentating in general, and any circumstance where such a person is almost lost far too soon is a scary moment for fans everywhere. In that moment I couldn’t help but think of what Raw would be like without Jerry calling the action, and to be quite honest I can’t imagine it. For fifteen years he has been that familiar voice that I hear every Monday night when I watch Raw, and the show would never be the same without him doing commentary. Thankfully, due to a stellar medical staff on hand, and Michael Cole’s quick reaction, the King is doing just fine and will be back doing commentary in no time. From all of us here at Grizzlybomb, get well soon King!

Cheesebadger: I made my feelings pretty clear here the night Lawler had his heart attack. That feeling of dread in between matches, with no commentary was resolutely ominous. I kept waiting for it to cut back to Michael Cole, and for him to give us the terrible news. Thankfully, the reports got better, but nothing was nearly as harrowing as rewinding my DVR and literally seeing Lawler in the background struggling to stay conscious, preceded by his abrupt drop off of commentary. Watching officials rush around in the backround, and the entire crowd’s attention diverted from the match onscreen, will stay with me forever. I’m incredibly glad to hear how Lawler made a full recovery, and wish him nothing but the best. Hopefully, he’ll be able to return to his home life, and take things easy for however long he has left. Long live The King!

*A few of you may notice a notable exception. That being the infamous Undertaker/Mankind Hell In A Cell Match, where Taker threw Mankind off the cage, through the cage, and into thumbtacks. Of course that’s a memorable moment but it’s at the top of EVERY best moments list on the internet, and as personally memorable as it may be to both Godzark and I, we decided to exclude it for that reason.

Our Top Ten Most Memorable WWE Moments: Part 1.

Article by Cheesebadger and Godzark

The WWE has been around entertaining people for a long time, and since its foundation in the 50’s as a promotional territory, there have been countless moments that have amazed, shocked, and entertained millions. There are lots of lists that compile these moments, and the majority of them deserve listing, but to try to objectively determine what makes one famous moment more worthy than another, is nearly impossible. Everyone who is a fan of the WWE have moments that they personally believe are the most awe-inspiring, shocking, or touching. Looking back on our collection of memories, some of the smaller moments in the WWE have been the ones that have stuck with us the most, along with the bigger, death-defying, shock and awe moments the WWE does so well.

With that thought in mind, Godzark and I thought that rather than try to make another in a long series of “Top X OMG Moments”, much like the WWE themselves have done, we’d prefer to share the moments that stuck with us on a personal level. The moments that made our eyes pop open in disbelief, laughter, surprise, or sheer excitement. Sure, some of these may not be universally recognized as the biggest, baddest, most memorable moments in WWE history, but to us, they were.

10.) CM Punk’s Infamous “Pipebomb” Promo

Godzark: When you’re a kid and you watch wrestling, the lines between fiction and reality are blurred every time you tune in. It seems as though as you get older, the moments that really make you question what’s real and what’s fake are few and far in between, which is why I valued our tenth ranked most memorable moment so much. On June 25, 2011, CM Punk, just three weeks away from contract expiration, gave what will forever be remembered as one of the greatest promos in WWE history, and one that really made me and the entire WWE Universe go, “wait, was that scripted?” In the span of five to seven minutes, Punk managed to call out Dwayne Johnson for being an ass kisser, referenced Colt Cabana, said he has no hope of the company being better after Vince McMahon’s dead because his stupid family will take over it, claimed that the USA network has crappy shows, and called the current vice president of talent relations a, “glad handing, non-sensical, douchebag Yes-man.” I remember watching this moment and wondering just how many wrestlers in the back were happily nodding their heads, because Punk was describing their feelings exactly. I for one will never forget this promo and would gladly put this amongst a list of the best promos in wrestling history.

9.) Shane McMahon Jumps Off The Titan-Tron

Godzark: Every once in a great while there is a wrestling moment where I honestly can say I have no idea how they did it, Shane McMahon’s 50 foot jump from the top of the Titantron on top of the Big Show is one of those moments. Fans make a big deal about wrestlers falling off of a ladder, or falling from the top of a cage, but Shane-O-Mac makes all of that look like mere child’s play when he took this leap of faith. I remember watching this as a kid and as Shane was climbing the tron I kept waiting for him to come back down because I knew that there was no way in Hell he could pull off a jump like that. When he did the sign of the cross before the jump I knew this was for real, and remember holding my breath until I heard the crash landing. This moment still gives me goose-bumps even years later, which is why it belongs on this list.

8.) Owen Hart’s Death

Cheesebadger: I remember watching this very pay-per-view, more pumped at the time for whatever the main event match was at the time. I remember seeing the promos and content from the first video above, and wondering if what had happened was real or not, because everything in the (then) WWF was so larger than life, that the thought of one of them dying in such a tragic fashion was hard to believe. The grim details became unfortunately clear as time passed, and what at first was thought to be an accident that would have ended Owen Hart’s career, ended his life in turn. It was a surreal moment to say the least. I remember thinking that his new gimmick as the Blue Blazer was silly, but I liked that he was doing something new and different. When it came around time to viewing that second video, I remember hearing JR’s words, but not really processing them. It was almost like it couldn’t be real, that there was no way the WWF could let something like that happen. As it is in real life though, accidents happen, and life is unpredictable and sometimes very cruel. That night I finished watching the PPV, wondering and waiting for them to announce that everything would be okay, or that Owen had been revived or something. Only the next day on Raw did It finally sink in. The memorial episode they held for him I can barely remember, but confronting the topic of death so bluntly on a show that was meant to be escapism, affected me pretty deeply. I can only imagine how the people who attended that PPV felt, having had to witness it live, and the hundreds of children like me who were undoubtedly saddened by his unfortunate passing.

7.) Scott Hall’s WCW “Invasion” Promo

Cheesebadger: Way back when, Scott Hall was one of my favorite wrestlers. To this day, he still is, as is evident by my review of a mini-documentary on him here at GB. I loved the guy’s gimmick, look, and his skills in the ring all with equal aplomb. I remember watching WCW with my grandpa, and being SHOCKED to see him show up there, not as Razor Ramon, but as Scott Hall. While  couldn’t find a video of the actual event as I originally remembered it, Scott Hall showed up by walking in through the crowd, interrupting a match currently in progress. He grabbed a mic and began speaking in his slurred pseudo Cuban Razor Ramon voice, about a “war”, and how things were going to change. It was so shocking to see a guy showing up in plain clothes, interrupting a match to talk, that it all seemed entirely real. I remember speculating about what it meant, and formulating ideas about how Vince McMahon had “fired” Razor Ramon, so he could legally show up and interfere with the WCW. The whole thing carried a lot of gravitas, because at the time, those two worlds of wrestling did not mix, ever. Or so I thought.

Seeing Scott Hall show up again with Diesel, who I now learned was named Kevin Nash, lended even more credence to my theory that it was all real, and the whole thing planned. To my credit, it was, just not by Vince McMahon. The entire concept of the invasion, the formation of The Outsiders, of course led to The NWO, which is arguably the most famous wrestling stable of all time. None of it would have happened without this promo, or this moment, and it’s one I’ll never forget.

6.) Steve Austin buries Undertaker Alive

Godzark: As a kid, my biggest fear was being buried alive, and I literally cringed at the thought of that ever happening to me. With this in mind, it should be no surprise that one of the most memorable moments to me in wrestling was when Stone Cold Steve Austin took on the Undertaker in a buried alive match. As a kid I watched my hero, come out fearlessly to compete in a match against a monster as scary as the Undertaker, knowing full well that should he lose this battle, my biggest fear would become his reality. Steve Austin not only buried the Undertaker six feet under, but like a Badass, proceeded to drink beer over the Undertakers grave. There was really no doubt in my mind after this that the Texas Rattlesnake was truly the baddest S.O.B on the planet.

WWE Monday Night Raw Review: June 13th 2011

Tonight is All Star Night! I don’t know what the hell that means except tonight’s Raw is three hours long! I’ll be your writer for the first hour of tonight’s broadcast, and Godzark will take it home with the last two.

After last week, Stone Cold Steve Austin is back for more as tonight’s Raw manager, and he comes out to stop one of those dime a dozen Miz rants just before I’m about to change the channel. He makes it clear to Miz that he’ll stomp the shit out of him if he doesn’t listen. Austin gives Miz his due and lets him know that him and Alex Riley will be getting some much-needed “therapy” right in the ring tonight… By Rowdy Roddy Piper in Piper’s Pit. If you don’t remember, that is Roddy Piper’s famous in the ring talk show. Note exhibit A below:

We can only hope he smashes someone in the face with a coconut. Miz leaves the ring and up pulls Alberto Del Rio with one of his beautiful cars. The scum bags are coming out of the woodwork for All Star Night! Del Rio babbles for a second about how gloriously awesome he is before Austin brings up the Big Show, and Del Rio’s monkey boy running his leg over with a car. He figures since Del Rio can’t fight Big Show, he can do the next best thing in a match with Show’s partner Kane right now. Unfortunately the match wasn’t very long at all. Kane had the upper hand most of the time, utilizing his brute force against Del Rio, but then our Mexican friend busts out crucifix armbar and doesn’t let go even after Kane grabs onto a rope. The ref calls the match as a disqualification and Del Rio still won’t let go, but then Big Show runs out…. yes he ran out on his leg that was run over by a car. Ok….

Continue reading WWE Monday Night Raw Review: June 13th 2011

WWE Monday Night Raw Review: June 6, 2011

Raw begins with the crowning of the Tough Enough champion Andy! This is quickly followed by Andy receiving a Stone Cold Stunner, by Stone Cold Steve Austin.

 As the actual show begins, R-Truth makes his way to the ring, where Stone Cold and Vince McMahon are waiting. R-Truth has been given the opportunity to earn a WWE championship opportunity at “Capitol Punishment,” by apologizing for his actions last week. R-Truth delivers a half-hearted apology for his actions, before Steve Austin calls him a jackass for dressing in costume. After R-Truth goes on about how the company is one big conspiracy, The Miz comes out to interrupt him. Miz comes out and says that he deserves another championship opportunity, but is quickly interrupted by Alex Riley. John Cena is quick to join the party going on inside of the ring as well. John Cena tells Miz to stop being a, “jack wagon” and get over himself.  Vince McMahon declares the main event on Raw a tag team match between John Cena and Alex Riley vs. R-Truth and the Miz, with special guest referee Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Commercial Break…   Continue reading WWE Monday Night Raw Review: June 6, 2011

WWE Monday Night Raw Review: Wrestlemania 27 Aftermath

Well here we stand, the night after Wrestlemania. Whether you loved it or hated it, there were good and bad things to come of it. One of the good things was evident right at the beginning of Raw with Jim Ross commentating alongside the King Jerry Lawler, as it should be. I’m not too sure if I could handle listening to the phony ass Michael Cole sitting in his glass box for another night. I can handle two commentators and one being a little biased towards one wrestler, but it should at least have some thought put into it. It shouldn’t just be Cole babbling in favor of a heel just because Lawler favors the opposite wrestler. Of course we shouldn’t expect not to see Cole anymore, because Ross brings up a rumor to Lawler of Cole being at Raw and supposedly wanting a match. Didn’t we suffer through that last night?

Probably the most decent match at Wrestlemania 27

The first person to come out and speak at the beginning of Raw was surprisingly not the Miz to gloat about another one of his assisted title defenses, but it was Triple H. He came out to speak about how unbelievable his match against the Undertaker was last night and even went so far as to thank the “Dead Man” for one of the best matches of his life. He also adds that when the Undertaker returns (he was carried out by stretcher last night) that he’ll be waiting. So does this mean that we will see another Undertaker injury hiatus? And that the next Wrestlemania will be Triple H and the Taker again?

 

Vintage Scum-Bag Cole

In the next segement we are unfortunately subjected to the moronic Michael Cole coming out to challenge Jerry Lawler to a rematch which Lawler happily agrees to and promptly enters the ring. I’m thinking, why do we have to see the same thing we saw at Wrestlemania last night? But then it turns out Cole is talking about Lawler having a rematch with Jack Swagger whom he fought last Raw. Wow… even better we get to see a freakin’ match from before Wrestlemania. Lame. The match goes on for a short time with Lawler getting the upper hand (he still has the moves!) until Cole interferes long enough for Swagger to get Lawler into the ankle lock submission hold to which Lawler taps out. But the call is reversed because Swagger won’t break the hold after the bell. This of course angers Cole who proceeds to spray JR with a bottle of barbeque sauce until Ross goes after him. I really really want Michael Cole to go away. Unfortunately he is back on the commentator scene when Raw resumes from commercial. From barbeque sauce to weak sauce.

“IN THE FACE!”

Thank God that his tirade about Ross ends as Randy Orton’s theme music blares throughout the arena, followed by the entrance of his tag team partner Rey Mysterio. They are set to wrestle in yet another rehash of their opponents from last night: CM Punk and Cody Rhodes. Yawn. Aside from it being the same matchups from last night, it is interesting to see Orton and his former Legacy underling Cody Rhodes going at it again. And I like the mismatched pairing of Orton and Mysterio, because they are polar opposites but both extremely talented in their own way. After a match lasting through two commercial breaks, Orton sets Rhodes up for a 619 from Mysterio which staggers him…straight into a waiting RKO from the Viper. Match over as CM Punk runs away from the ring.

A quick in between matches: Stone Cold Steve Austin is certainly in the building, congratulating a passing Triple H for one helluva match last night. Also there was a promo for the imminent arrival of luchador Sin Cara who was recently acquired by the WWE. It will be interesting indeed to see what he brings to the table.

“And so he did.”

As Raw returns we are welcomed back with Austin coming out to the ring. Unfortunately it doesn’t look like Austin will do any ass whooping as he brings out the cast of Tough Enough to the ring to make introductions. (Austin and Booker T are both on Tough Enough if you didn’t know) None of them really stood out to me except one. Maybe the guy with the afro, but that was just because he had an afro. The other one that stood out was Rima Fakih, obviously because she is super hot and a Michigan native where I hail from. I would absolutely be loving it if she was the next Diva. The Miz, the worst WWE champion since Sheamus, interrupts the whole thing with his butt buddy Alex Reiley. He proceeds to talk down to the Tough Enough kids and promptly challenging Austin to a match. Austin agrees as the ring clears out, but instead of Miz attacking A-Rei does. It was pretty satisfying to see Austin back in action to stomp Alex Reiley’s ass for a couple minutes. Afterwards Austin has a beer with the Tough Enough crew and throws a couple into Cole’s glass turd box to get him wet.

Rima Fakih – Former Miss USA

Even though I’m not a big fan of Alberto Del Rio, it is refreshing to see an original match as he faces off against Evan Bourne. Del Rio was curiously absent his car and usual grinning face as he came out for the match. It’s a typical Evan Bourne match where the little fella is outgunned by his almost always bigger opponent. He manages to execute one high flying maneuver but misses and ends getting put into the crossover submission. Chalk one up for Del Rio, but if he wants to get back on the road to credibility he needs to fight someone a little more formidable than Bourne. And also he needs to get a new car.

Del Rio in Full Spanish Soap Opera Mode

When we returned from a commercial break I nearly gagged on my water hearing Vicki Guerrero’s voice echoing throughout the arena. Apparently we get a matchup of Vicky and Dolph Zigler v.s. John Morrison and Trish Stratus. Almost the same matchup from Wrestlemania last night minus that strumpet Snooki. That should make me happy but I am nonetheless still completely uncaring about this matchup so I’ll keep it brief: Morrison and Stratus win and we all move on with our lives.

WARNING: VOMIT INDUCING

Next on the agenda is Sheamus, who’s match at Wrestlemania was not aired last night. So we are at least treated to a rematch for the United States Championship Belt, with Sheamus defending. I really couldn’t care less about Daniel Bryan. Everything about him is boring, from his look to his theme music. To me he is just not superstar material. Needless to say I was hoping for Sheamus to win and he did. I think he may have found his niche in the WWE with being the United States Champion, because he definitely wasn’t cutting it as WWE champion. Much like the Miz he never defended the title successfully without interference or douche-baggery. Perhaps they can somehow make the United States Championship a legitimate title, especially since the aforementioned Sin Cara came out to stop Sheamus from pummeling Daniel Bryan some more after the match. I believe Sin Cara can definitely bring a little more excitement to the WWE and what it is desperately suffering from a lack of… something different. His super high flying manuever from the top ropes onto Sheamus outside of the ring was definitely impressive. Radical man….

Look out Mysterio… There’s a new masked Mexican in town.

Now to the finale that they have been going on and on about the whole show. “John Cena calls out The Rock”. Lord knows they needed a whole segment for this nonsense of the predictable walking talking cliche John Cena to come out and spew his slang riddled rhetoric. Cena did his typical, “I lost and congrats to my opponent” bit before calling out the Rock, who obliges with a stroll out to the ring. The Rock goes on for a few minutes about Cena and Cena even brings up Rock’s terrible movie “The Tooth Fairy” before coming out with the obvious challenge. The Rock vs John Cena. Even though I hate Cena, it would be a great match if these two went toe to toe. It obviously won’t happen on this Raw and not even in a pay per view this year… they are talking about Wrestlemania 28 next year. I admit I will have forgotten about this in about a month. So someone please remind me about it every now and then, because I’m sure the WWE won’t bombard us with it nearly every week! But it doesn’t end here, the Corre of stupidity decides to run out and ruin the moment before Cena and Rock can shake on it. They have the upper hand at first but are of course pummeled by two of the biggest superstars in the business. Cena and Rock finally shake on it, setting an extremely early stage for next year’s Wrestlemania 28.

“OH HERE WE GO! Next year that is…”