Tag Archives: Yahoo

Charlie Sheen’s “Torpedo of Truth” Tour… More Like “Torpedo of Turd” Tour

How dare you sully that jersey good sir...

Yes, ‘Charlie Sheen’s Violent Torpedo of Truth Tour’ has landed. Well, crash landed anyways.

Of all the places to start off, why do it in Detroit Charlie? I don’t live directly in Detroit, but I’ve lived in the greater metro area my whole life, and know just as well as anyone else how unforgiving the people there can be. And unforgiving they were according to Yahoo!:

The former “Two and a Half Men” star showed that comedic success on the screen doesn’t necessarily translate to the stage, and the capacity crowd at the 5,100-seat Fox Theatre rebelled before he left the stage, chanting “refund!” and walking out in droves.

Continue reading Charlie Sheen’s “Torpedo of Truth” Tour… More Like “Torpedo of Turd” Tour

Grizzly Outrage: MTV Reboots TEEN WOLF

The parade of the shirtless teenage werewolves continues. MTV, taking a break from their daily contribution towards the retardation of tomorrow, has released a trailer for their upcoming TV series – Teen Wolf.  They claim this is somehow a reboot of the classic Michael J. Fox movie of the same title, but I don’t see it. More on that later. Let’s first focus on how stupid this idea is to begin with. You’re gonna take a movie that is over 25 years old, staring an actor that has been, for the most part, retired from movies for the better part of 15 years, and you’re gonna make it into a show on MTV. That means, the people who are old enough to remember and love the movie are mostly those who are too old to still watch MTV. And those young enough to still like MTV are too young to remember the movie or even recognize Michael J. Fox for the icon he is. So this results in severely agitating the first crowd, while having to explain to the latter that werewolves did in fact exist in media prior to Twilight.

If you want to cash in on the Twilight fanatics, call the show Shirtless Wolf or Teen Angst Filled Dogs. But do not tarnish the name of one of my childhood favorites while marketing to an audience whose never ever seen it.

Anyhow, before moving further, lets check out the trailer…

I apologize for the shitty quality of the video, but it’s gonna be a shitty show, so I thought it fitting.

Now those of you that remember the movie, you might notice somethings are a little different here:

– He doesn’t come from a long line of wolves who can control themselves socially, but instead is viciously attacked in the woods and turned into one who can’t attend parties. You know, like in every Werewolf movie ever…EXCEPT Teen Wolf.

– I saw in the trailer exactly ZERO scenes where he dunks a basketball. He instead plays Lacrosse, a sport reserved almost exclusively for Douchebags.

– A very serious lack of ‘Van Surfing’.

– At no point in this trailer do an entire group of kids chant “Wolf. Wolf. Wolf.”

– It’s also not very believable; though they do show a high school party, they do not show anyone biting through a can of beer. I mean seriously, come on.

– And as far as I can tell, there isn’t a single character named “Boof”.

To see what I’m talking about, here is the trailer for the REAL Teen Wolf.

So welcome to 2011. Where we ruin everything, thus damning tomorrow’s generation to a bitter life filled with a terrible view of how cool Vampires and Werewolves were when we were young.